Do you believe that if it's meant to be, it's meant to be?

[Anonymous]

And if it's not, it's not?

There have been many times I've tried to sort of force a relationship with someone, yet the feelings weren't mutual either on my part or her part. There have been other times where I've been extremely attracted to someone and have had intense feelings for them, yet always seem to end up looking like an idiot, and digging myself into a deeper hole.

So what do you think? In relationships, if it's meant to be, is it meant to be, meaning that the pieces will just fall into place with a little effort?

[Eiffelgirl21]

I think so, yes. And, if things do not work out at that time..they might later on..who knows? You might run into them in the mall or store years down the road. I believe in fate..and believe that everything happens for a reason. And, when relationships fail for me, Iook at it like, if it is meant to be, then it will be! Sometimes, though, you have to put extra effort in a relationship...you have to give your all, even when they are giving you nothing. Why? Well, if they are worth it, then why not? I know a few older couples, that had a rocky start..and one of them gave it there all, while the other was a ex-player (if you know what I mean) and they are now married..happily. And, have been, for years (like 20+ years). So, don't think, just because you have to try hard..while the other isn't that it isn't meant to be..because if what you are doing is keeping the two of you together, then clearly it was meant to be..at least at that moment. I think of my past relationships..if I hadn't of "forced" them to work (like me do all the giving and etc.) then, I wouldn't be with the guy I am with today. How? Well, my last boyfriend influenced me in taking another job (it paid better), and so I did..and met my current boyfriend there and this job is in a complete other town, so I do not think we would ever run into each other if I hadn't. So, I think fate is true..and fate makes it "meant to be"..just at the time it is meant to be...may not be forever. But, one day, it will be ;-)

P.S- Sorry, I didn't mean to get off topic..I think I did a little. lol... :-D

[ShootingStar5]

Yes I believe that. You can't force something to work. Either it does or it doesn't. Either she's interested or she's not. I know with me and my boyfriend everything just clicked into place and it felt right, so it was meant to be.

[vishna]

yeah, things should be natural and just sort of fall into place with like you said a little effort.

[Warren]

What kind of sentence is that? "Do you believe that if it's an apple, it's an apple - and if it's not, it's not?" *boggle* Of course, responding only to the sentiment NO I don't think it's true. I think that humans just engage in magical thinking, and "It's meant to be." is merely the equivalent to saying "It's God's will.". "It wasn't meant to be." is the equivalent to "God works in mysterious ways." There are lots of people out there, it is inevitable that you'll find someone who "fits", but the total number of possible combinations makes it even more likely that whatever pairing you pick next won't be the right one. This doesn't attribute meaning to those pairings, nor does it mean that it was cosmically destined to be -- or not.

If anything, it's random. Or some approximation of random. Whether or not you meet a certain girl at the supermarket might be dependent upon whether you needed to go, which depended on whether you finished the milk that morning (and needed to buy more), which you didn't actually do because you stayed up until 4am eating pizza and were too stuffed to eat breakfast. So you sleep it off and wake up late for classes, run out the door and in your rush step off a curb and get hit by a bus. This doesn't mean you were destined to die, or that pizza was the instrument of fedora-wearing bureaucrats in a parody of The Adjustment Bureau.

Sh!t happens. That doesn't mean it was meant to be. It also doesn't make it fate, destiny -- or apples for that matter.

[Swenzor]

Both yes and no.

For example, I'm head over heels in love with my girlfriend to the point were I get clingy, its bad I know, I just had little to no love in my life that I never want her to leave. To my point, she doesn't like I'm that clingy, and I understand her, so I try to change for her, takes effort from my part to change that, but I do it because I want to be with her, the pieces don't fall into place I work for that one.

While other things like some of our interests in music, art and life experiences falls into place and we can understand one and other how it must have been, and so forth making it easier to love and talk to that person.

In the end, some things will fall into place, things you have in common, things you both like and enjoy, it will be easier for you both to continue to enjoy.

While some things takes effort, sometimes from one, sometimes both, all you have to do is communicate and talk things through and be ready to make some sacrifices for your relationship.

[humble_bee]

do you think asking a guy who used to hang out so often with his friends (both girls and guys) to make priority and reduce his frequent hanging out is too much?

[Boogaloo]

I dunno...I think the other end of the spectrum is true...that...

"nothing in this life worth having comes easy"

[pepper01]

no I don't and here's why. if I want something to happen with someone I will step up and try to make it happen. if it doesn't then its not meant to be but you never know unless you try!

[ShootingStar5]

You just said no and yes at the same time. Which is it? lol

[pepper01]

i believe its not meant to be if you try but if you don't try than you will never know.. so I'm going to say I'm neutral lol

[Samanosuke47]

Meh, not really. I kinda believe to some degree you choose who you like, and if it works out or not is up to both of you. So Idk.

[Beckyboo03]

Yep, if it's meant to be then it will be...if not then it won't

[drummergirl]

i do believe if its meant to be it will happen. everything happens for a reason. each little thing in ppls lives are stepping stones and lessons to a better future.

[Anonymous]

What exactly do you mean when you say "extremely attracted"
I've always been sort of curious on what attraction is to men.