Is it unusual where one's "personality flaw" applies to both parties in a relationship?

[ARWINGx1]

I'm just saying that I just remembered something that an old friend once told me. Which is that she saw me as a Control Freak. That is, IF I'd find a girlfriend myself.
BUT, it's also "two-sided". I mean, if I understood (correctly) what she said: Although I may be a Control Freak towards my What-If/Would-Be, I'd make sure that she'd have just as much right to treat me the same.

Which leads to the question, I'm curious (and wonder if it's rare) about if there's anyone else out here where one's been told (or figured it out) that your flaw happens to apply to both your partner AND yourself?

[HighlyVolatile]

I think my flaws are mostly the opposite of my wife's.

For example, I'm a master improviser when things don't go according to plan. The metaphorical building catches on fire and I'm totally in the zone. However, I'm also headstrong and impulsive and not so good at making or sticking to plans. I like to wing it and adapt to the present situation.

Meanwhile, my wife is excellent at planning and organizing. However, she starts to panic if anything goes slightly wrong and unexpected in executing the plan.

We sort of patch each other's flaws that way. When I need a more solid and organized plan, my wife helps me to form one. When things don't go according to plan, I calm down my wife and have like a dozen backup solutions up my sleeve, any of which I can confidently follow while telling her it's no big deal.

It's sort of like she errs too much on the side that thinks everything is a big deal even when it isn't, while I err too much on the side that thinks nothing is a big deal even when it is. So we balance each other's flaws out.

[HighlyVolatile]

One unfortunate personality flaw we do share in common though is that we both love to drink and get drunk. Well, it might not be considered a flaw so much here in Japan, since so many Japanese tend to drink and get drunk. Yet I think it's a character flaw these days, but we sort of enable each other's drinking habits like I'll bring home beers and I'm enabling my wife's drinking, or she'll bring home beers and enables mine. It's kind of hard for us to quit when we both have this flaw in common.

[annabananna]

Y’all sound like me and my husband. I’m impulsive and love to start something new and he is slow to start something but when he does it is organized and he will finish it.

[Guy13]

Usually, opposites attract BUT the thing we liked originally becomes annoying THEN we try to control or change it.
—Often the other party will react with an equal but opposite reaction, thereby, making both parties seemingly Control Freak to one another.

Hope that makes sense…

[ARWINGx1]

So, you're saying that "Opposites" tend to attract one another more easily, but could potentially be short-lived?

While the opposite applies to those who have more similarities to each others instead?

[Guy13]

No, I am not saying relationships in opposition are short-lived.-Often those are long lived such as good vs evil.
—Organism, whether individual or Business, are aware of our frailties and we seek others who can fill those deficits. Unlikes or opposites attract SO that the Organism, both individual and collectively, functions at higher levels.
—-Yes, our theoretical and practical underpinnings have to match (“Birds of feather flock together”).
—If they do not match, then, your way that is opposite mine, which will also to solve the problem, could not seemingly work long-term. I’m not hiring you if underpinnings are not same NO MATTER the great skill set you may have…Even though he/she would be more effective IN THAT THING than me. “Even if that’s what I really need…”

[annabananna]

Personally my husband and I have flaws that are opposite but I have seen couples with similar flaws. Like I’ve seen two selfish people in a relationship and that’s tiring to witness because they both refuse to compromise.

[lightbulb27]

Of course. Attraction is largely familiarity. And it’s honestly worse dealing with your own issues in the other and makes you both less effective. One plus one equals.75.


It’s nice when parter has traits that complement yours as mine does.


It’s all some work to compromise and communicate because those minds work differently… and that is ok 👌.


You’ll find a chicly doodle out there just keep working on questions like these

[Exterminatore]

Birds of a feather flock together.

[Iron_Man]

I just try to work out the difficulties