Long distance boyfriend broke up... wants to friend/says love me help?

[incognito22]

so I've been in long distance relationship with this guy for 10 months, we had it great everything perfect my parents know about him, his parents know. two month ago he got into a new business and got really busy that would go with no contact in four days I would sent him motivational messages and sometimes that I'm so upset or I miss you and how you don't have 10 seconds to reply. I really have a great bound with is mom by the way. basically we had arguments about him being off and even he was with me was tired, wouldn't say anything cute and wasn't like before. 2 weeks ago after 6 days of being off he showed up and I knew he's looking for an excuse to break up. he broke up with me but said he loves me and he'll be there for me and we could talk when he has time. he told he wants obligations off and wants and nothing is wrong with me or I did nothing wrong. I talked to his mom and she asked me to be patient and supported me and said god will do what's the best and we should trust the process. a day after he said he's proud of me/ said "you're beautiful, extremely beautiful" or I asked him should I stop contacting and he said no. I asked do you love me? he said " i can't say bc we're not in relationship but yes I love you" later said "you're a amazing, great women" he said i'm in his mind all the time. about a week ago I saw him online bur haven't replied to my message I asked why he said or kids were on my phone and I said " it seems you're actually over me and i'm just wasting my time" he said " no I talked with my mom about us getting back together in future but that's a whole thing i can't talk about it now" i assumed he was busy. I sill send him messages and he replies when he's free. I talk to his mom every 23 days and she's sweet giving me advice and support. I know he's so so busy and I love him but don't want to raise a fake hope. I feel he'll turn back but just being super busy for being in relationship and I need to wait. what you guys think?

Updates

+1 y

sorry for I meant every 2 or 3 days I'm in contact with his mom

[littlelady050]

Hello, if you go back to him you are 100% setting yourself up for a major heartbreak. He has probably found someone else. He doesn’t love you. When someone loves someone they do not treat them like that. And about the busy thing baby girl” no one is that busy” we take our phones with us to the bathroom we scroll of social media when we are pooping. He is ignoring you, he does not love or respect you. You are just safe and option. He is keeping you at an arms close so that if everything fails he can have you back when he wants. MOVE ON this is over. You deserve better. Block him from everywhere. The more you do this the more you’ll get hurt and your value will decrease. Mind you when start to care less he’ll come back runnnning. Don’t open the door again.

[incognito22]

my heart :(

[Yucy_Gluttony]

OOOHUEHUE no don't keep talking to him. He doesn't want to be in a relationship but he says he loves you? <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I can't deal with that contradiction. I don't think anyone's heart can! Going back to someone who plays with you like this is setting yourself up for failure, sorreh!

[OnyxianGhostsLove]

Do you speak with him often?
It seems like a mess of a relationship, and maybe something not worth having?

[incognito22]

every 2 to 3 days

[incognito22]

I don't know about the second part. it was awesome before but turned into a mess all of a sudden

[OnyxianGhostsLove]

Well, it would be best to hear it from him, and not his mother :)

Do you give advice?

[incognito22]

I'm confused with what you mean exactly

[OnyxianGhostsLove]

You said you talk with his mother a lot
and the mom wants you to stay and wait

She might just be protecting him, and also you.
The best thing is to talk to him directly about this problem the next time you see him.

[Girlygovroom]

Seems way to messy for a 10-month thing, especially since it’s ldr. Is it really worth it?

[incognito22]

I don't know. I really love him. I know he loves me a lot also. just the situation is messy I agree
makes me confuse :(

[Girlygovroom]

You really don’t want to get into the cycle of breaking up, keeping in touch, getting back together, breaking up again.. that will not make your life any easier. When someone breaks up with you, you’re broken up. No “I still love you”, no “I really do see a future with you”. Breaking up means no more relationship and looking to date other people. If you allow yourself to be sent back and forth between single and taken, you won’t feel secure in either situations.

[incognito22]

true but I feel I need to give him some time and space and one more chance. like my mom asked me to wait for 3 months and then tell him you're over and moved on if he did nothing to get back with you

[Girlygovroom]

Then, while giving him time and space, try to live your life without him. That gives him absolute “freedom” while you also don’t put your heart in a place of waiting.

[incognito22]

that sounds good thank you

[Anonymous]

How often do you message him?

[incognito22]

like once every 2 or 3 days he replies maybe in 4 days but lately even when we ere in relationship he would reply every 3 or 4 days. after break up I just send motivational uplifting messages like stay strong/have a good day

[incognito22]

like he replied lat night with "you're in my head"only

[incognito22]

*last

[Opinion Owner]

Does he ever message you first?

[incognito22]

mostly I message first but I tried that if I don't he would

[Opinion Owner]

How long does he take to text you if you don’t text him?

[incognito22]

4 to 5 days

[SnakeBoop]

eww. just stop.