Have You Been Emotionally Hurt By Someone But Willing To Get Back Together?

[Anonymous]

I had a friend that told me, "I'm the most honest person there is and I never lie. All the relationships I've been in, romantically or otherwise, have been based on lies and deceit." I really liked him a lot. But soon he accused me of being a liar and I'm deceitful. He cut it off with me. I feel hurt and crushed. But I would get back together with him if possible.

Has anything like this happened to you?

[Anonymous]

Yep... he threw me under the bus and I felt betrayed, he also kept comparing me to his ex. I stayed bc I love him but the love was quickly fading away, eventually I lost feelings and now he's begging me to stay trying to redeem himself

[Asker]

How long did it take for the love to fade away?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know one day I just completely lost interest after an argument we had where he compared me to his ex and he sided with her. Then I guess it took me 2 months to completely lost feelings and I told him that I was leaving him

[Asker]

It sounds like he never got over his ex. Did she break it off with him?

[Opinion Owner]

Yep and yep lol and it was painful bc I was purely only loving him while he was only half assed with me bc half of his heart still belonged to his ex… good riddance

[Asker]

So how long was the total relationship?

[Opinion Owner]

About 1.5 years, but we were already dating for 4-6 months before we were official. The ex that he was referring to was from his previous relationship that was 7 years ago lol, he's completely moved on from his most recent relationship but not from the previous one... He's still trying to redeem himself with me now, as of right now we're basically just friends and I'm not sure if I should give him another chance bc the feelings are coming back and I can see his efforts...

[Asker]

He must be a handsome man, or someone with charisma, to gave these girlfriends. I know guys who have never been in a relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

He is handsome and charismatic. But I’m also attractive and charismatic (lol self love) and so were his past girlfriends, they were all really beautiful. I’m not dating him just bc he’s good looking though, we have a strong friendship (we were also friends before we dated) and so I have a soft spot for him. Seems like he also doesn’t want to lose me or our friendship which is why he’s working his ass off to make it up to me

[Asker]

Since he is handsome and charismatic, aren't you concerned he will cheat on you since women come so easily to him?

[Opinion Owner]

No I trust him and he trusts me even knowing that I get a lot of guys flirting with me. He doesn’t actually get a lot girls going after him bc he’s very cold lol

[sheikalana]

I've been in that situation before. Was it worth it to take them back? Nope, it just made me realize we were not made for each other.

[Asker]

How long were you together the first time and then when you took him back?

[sheikalana]

4 months and then less than a month when we reconnected.

[Asker]

So the first time around, you were in love with him and he was in love with you? Why did you break up?

[sheikalana]

We did not really break up there wasn't a conversation we separated because of the pandemic because I got stranded in another country and couldn't come back during 15 months. After all that time I was still thinking of him and needed some closure.

[CoffeeBeanBlack]

Yes. My previous partner may not have hurt me intentionally (ptsd, adhd, depression, anxiety, traumatic abuse) but she did hurt me for quite a while. Her core characteristics are still overwhelmingly positive. I suffered the many consecutive bad months and I was willing to hold out a little more when she ended things. Just dunno when/if it'll be possible again.

[Asker]

So if today she asked to get back together would you?

[CoffeeBeanBlack]

I would but we'd have to have a long talk and I'd ask for couples counseling

[MrOracle]

Nope. Betray me in any serious way, and you will be kicked to the curb and all ties will be cut, forever. I have no room in my life for people like that. And there ARE a few people who have experienced that, and who have tried to get back into my life. They didn't even get a response. In that respect, I'm ruthless.

[Account]

It is hard to explain. I dont allow people to invade that area. I protect myself with an invisible barrier. I never get disappointed or hurt that way since I have zero expectations.

[Asker]

Does that mean you don't allow anyone to get close to you?

[oh_k789]

As long as you embrace being essentially single forever, you have solved the problem. In a way.

[Account]

@Cathy7734 I cannot, I am unable to.

@oh_k789 Of course, I have no issue with that.

[oh_k789]

After all, it's better to be alone and alone, and not together and alone.

[Account]

Precisely. Couldn't have said it better

[Anonymous]

My wife of 10 years had a 6 month affair.
I took her back because we have kids and history.
I don’t love her the same, I resent her somewhat.
But I do love her, just not how I used to.
I know what she is capable of and the person she can be.
It isn ‘t who I married but I made a vow. I am a man of my word and my kids benefit if their parents are together.

[Asker]

If you had to rate your love on a scale from 1 - 10, 1 being the worst and 10 the best, how would you rate the love you have for her before she hurt you and how would you rate it now?

[Opinion Owner]

Before she hurt men, She was my angel.
I cherished her. She had a glow, I felt like she was the only girl capable of never doing the things all other women in my past did. I lived her 20/10

Since the affair, I see that she is no different than any one else. The special spark died. She did everything she said she would never do. I stayed loyal and she maliciously lived a double life.
I still love her as a person mainly because I am not capable of hate and accept that people are a flawed and hurtful species. I would rather stay with the person I know than let a new female hurt me again.
I love her 5/10 now.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Isn't that the nature of all relationships? sooner or later you get hurt, the question is how badly and if you can work through it.

[oh_k789]

Sooner or later you take that turn signaled by the signpost... and reach Lieland.

[Nidal_AA]

Not me no. i dont get harmed easily.. But If i get harmed a little bit i just call it a day... Id rather not be with someone than to be his "slave"

[LiterateGrrl]

Yes it has. I am in a emotionally abusive relationship.

[Asker]

Why do you stay in the relationship if you know it's emotionally abusive?

[gabby100]

YES, I THOUGHT ABOUT GETTING BACK BUT HE WOULD NOT CHANGE..

[Anonymous]

Yes she cheated on me and I still wanted to get back together with her

[Asker]

Do you still want to get back with her?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah we did

[omnivert]

Yes but dont get together anyway. Or youu will lose your dignity.

[Tomatotom90]

only if i can't do better which i can't doormat here

[jimmy2]

God bless you dear I only wish I could find someone like you

[Jacob01]

yes but now there married and i'm going to try someone else.

[dtweed1996]

Not really that makes me look desperate or something

[boggboss]

Nope I don't tend to just gloss over getting hurt

[oh_k789]

Nice signpost there 🤓.

[BCRanger10]

Yes, a little over ten years ago.

[elizamichale1]

Yea it has happened once

[kinggeorge007]

No, never

[MrJMM]

Fuck no.

[deshazoj2]

No never

[Anonymous]

tldr; yes