Guys aren’t attracted to me and I know I’m destined to be single. Can I find joy in life without ever falling in love, since my probability is low?

[Anonymous]

I am not meant to ever get married and I’m kind of frustrated. But I think I have to accept it. If I was that amazing I would be taken, and I work so much on myself. I’m exhausted and holding onto the hope isn’t working out. How can I accept that I’m just not enough, and even when I do work excessively on myself there’s no luck either? I always wanted to fall in love and get married, have children and be an amazing mom but I am having to face that I have no chance. I guess I have to learn life isn’t fair?

[caring__1]

With all the work you do on yourself, could you come across as high maintenance? Rather than haphazardly work on yourself, find out what others see. Use them as your mirror, for you may not be seeing yourself accurately when you look in mirrors.

Tell people who know you that you want to work on yourself, and you'd love to see yourself through their eyes. Ask them to list your primary assets and primary challenges. If they aren't comfortable identifying who wrote the lists, they can send them to you anonymously. If one person says you have a good sense of humor, that probably just means you have a similar sense of humor to that person. If multiple people say your have a good sense of humor, you probably have a good sense of humor. Don't minimize what they see as your assets (because you don't like those assets or they don't measure up to what society promotes). Get clarification as to what they see and how it impacts them, and then learn how to enhance what already exists. Face and resolve any challenges within your control, while not dwelling on that which is out of your control. Lack of self-care cannot be eliminated by covering it up with fancy makeup, hair, nails and clothing.

Next, stop focusing primarily on appearance and let people see the person within. Join an organization that supports an interest of yours or a cause you support, or volunteer your help. Take on a responsible position, so people can see you in action rather than just how you look. Eventually, someone will rise out of the crowd, and you'll make a connection.

[Effably]

So what is wrong with you? The brutal truth.

Looks? Horrible personality? Stench? No manners at all? Being unable to date requires more than a slightly pointy nose.

The examples I mentioned can all be tackled within the span of a year and none of them are a good reason to give up.
Now if you are born with some aesthetical, facial, deformity there is usually surgery available through charitable organisations that will cover all, most or much of the costs and might be the best decision ever taken. As much as things should not bother us, they do.

Anyhow. What's wrong with you? Genuinely.

[Asker]

No they just think I’m a nothing. Most men don’t respect women at all so trying to get them to see you as a person is like pulling teeth tbh.

[Asker]

I don’t think any of these apply to me...
Looks? Horrible personality? Stench? No manners at all? Being unable to date requires more than a slightly pointy nose.

[Asker]

I’m told I’m gorgeous, I’m kind and have tons of friends and people I get along with just fine, no negative feedback. I’m classy and elegant. I don't know, men just don’t seem to care or see it at all. So my problem is most likely just luck and that is truly just not meant for me.

[Paul09]

First F marriage. You do not have to be a sheep. Second lets you are meant to be alone. Make the best if it. You can do whatever you want. Whatever makes you happy. And we have to. Give ourselves self Love. I know, I've been single for ages now. I just try not to think of it, even if I always wanted to find the one, if that even exists. Other than that I try to keep my mind it. And another thing, do you tell men you like them? Do you ask them out? If not , why not? you're a grown up, you can do it. Can't always be is men, imagine how depressing that gets, being rejected once too many times.

[melnc]

Telling yourself you’re not lucky and unlovable won’t make you feel any more worthy or lovable. According to what you said, everyone sees you beautiful and a decent girl, but when it comes to a love affair... no one wants to take a step in... how come?
The problem is, you don't believe yourself to be with someone else. Fix your beliefs about yourself.

[Anonymous]

Good news is more guys have the same problem and they are more likely to find women attractive than the woman finding men attractive. So you have a bigger chance than guys in general. Your depressing attitude might scare some away it's easier to be with someone who's happier with themselves

Don't try to find marriage, find a good guy you love so much you want to marry him. Amazing moms don't have children just to be a mom, an amazing mom would sacrifice their time to care for and love their child because they were naturally made from being with the love of your life

[Anonymous]

Alright lets get to the meat of the matter:
Is your face decent?
How much do you weigh?
Are you "fit"?
Are you waiting until marriage for sex?
Are you financially independent?
Are you high maintenance?
Are you depressed?

[Opinion Owner]

Im already seeing conflicting info in your replies to other people. You say to one person you are told you're gorgeous, but then to another person you say you wish you were beautiful. Completely contradictory information going on here with no way to discern the truth

[Losalt]

Don't be so sure.
It often takes years to find someone you're compatible with.

Just get male friends and enjoy life, get to know people and before you know it you might find someone you're compatible with that's also compatible with you.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Life isn't fair but fortunately for you, love isn't necessary to survive

[altdbob]

Sounds to me like you are trying too hard. Try being yourself for a change and just let things happen.

[Anonymous]

How long have you been single now and how long was your longest relationship?

[Emanon25]

We can be friends

[Asker]

Yeah every guy seems to just see me as a friend. I wish I was beautiful.

[Emanon25]

Follow me please