My Girlfriend is coming back from vacation, I should be more excited but I'm now, any advice?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend was away on vacation, it's been a week we haven't spoken too much of course as she has been busy catching up with family/friends. She stayed up late of course to catch up on her final day and is back tomorrow morning. I'm excited to see her and I've missed her a hell of a lot. At the same time the idea of not having much time left before she goes back to work, is also kind of making me sad.

She pretty much told me she is just going to bed tired, can't wait to see me but will just want cuddles and to sleep. Saturday she goes for nail/hair appointment and will be busy most the day. We have Sunday then she is back at work, she usually ends up coming home and sleeping in the evenings due to it being a stressful job. So just doesn't seem like we will have much time together catching up on lost time or things

it's just I know next week will come and she will be tired from work. Her way of texting/she didn't want to call or say love you or anything while with family. It was kind of cold, we haven't had intimacy in a month, due to her being stressed/tired.

Some social media things popped up while she was away which we spoke about that made me uneasy. We sorted it but that piled on top doesn't help

I feel sort of distant... even if it kills me to say that. I know once we are spending time together things should be fine, but I kind of don't want to turn up at the airport all awkward feeling like this, I kind of hate myself for it.

Is it just due to lack of intimacy, and not spending much time before she went away and the cold replies that have me feeling distant? She does get cold when tired

[Anonymous]

RED FLAGS.

When someone likes you, they make time even in the busiest times to spend quality time.

Maybe have a serious talk so that if she's not feeling the relationship she' can say so and not waste your time. Our time is valuable, nobody can return it, and if she's not serious, she's robbing you of that time that you could possibly be finding someone that is worth your time who will love you and care for you and most importantly make time for you without placing excuses because of my family I can't talk or say I love you.. kind of shitty excuse is that. That's ridiculous. Someone that that truly cares for you will not say that to you.

You need a serious talk and do not regret the talk if it ends the relationship, because it only means you would have wasted more time with that person who will eventually leave you anyway. Better spend the time wisely.

if it doesn't end the relationship then maybe it can strengthen it by both putting on the table what is needed from each other.

A relationship without intimacy I just a friendship. Seems she's pushing that and you could be finding someone that actually loves you. It takes time to find people who care which is why it is vital to better find out what her deal is now sooner than later.

[Anonymous]

You’re thinking waaay too much. Maybe time apart was good so you can remember your sense of self again.

[Asker]

I mean I kept myself busy, as so did she. But I mean like I'm picking her up in 2 hours, her replies are almost dead cold... i mean like single word replies, just keeps saying she looks forward to seeing me but is just very tired. I just get the sense she isn't that happy.

[Opinion Owner]

She’s probably preoccupied, if she’s traveling a good distance flying then she may not have her phone and etc. If you’re not used to spending this much time from her then I totally understand that sense of missing and stuff, but you don’t want to get so unfamiliarized with time alone that when you’re apart you overthink to the worst, you know?

[Asker]

That's the thing, she is actually messaging from airport while waiting, I am not overthinking anything I love her and know she misses me and can't wait to get back. At the same time.. I feel a mix of love and being distant at the same time

[Opinion Owner]

Overthinking doesn’t mean you don’t love her, it means you’re looking at small things and making them bigger than they are. You feel distant, like she’s cold and disconnected, but this all seems in light of the fact that she’s been away. If you’re not used to being apart from her then sure those feelings are normal but it may mean it’s good to have this alone time to reconnect with yourself.

[Asker]

It isn't just that.. but we were kind of disconnected before she went away due to her stress and work, I tried to make an effort to make it better before we go on the last day and she said she was tired, while being away it's been cold replies, she didn't tell me about anything she has done and when I asked how she was or whats she has been up to, she just changes the subject it's kind of a habit. Just felt like she didn't want to include me much and at times message at all. I feel really disconnected, I'm standing at the airport and just feel disconnected which is sad

[Asker]

Just giving an update, so spent the day together after she came back and things are back to normal, I did pick her up from the airport and did feel disconnected slightly. We spoke and it turned out she was indeed distant with me while away, but it was due to her grandad having dementia and a few others things, so she was sad but rather than speak about it she shut herself away and realised herself she pulled away a bit, didn't want to open up and just was very cold, she was sad most evenings while away because of it, told her she could be open with me and it would have been easier if she just told me she had a lot going on. Managed to get her to open up about it, speak to me as she felt more comfortable in person and then things went back to feeling normal and good again.

[Opinion Owner]

Glad you guys are back to normal, try not to get in your head too much next time if this comes up🙏

[TommyMountainFigure]

Neither of you are bad people from what I read, but there is a hint of incompatibility here I fear. You sound like you want more from the relationship than she can give you.
This actually is the time you should evaluate your options.

[Asker]

Just giving an update, so spent the day together after she came back and things are back to normal, I did pick her up from the airport and did feel disconnected slightly. We spoke and it turned out she was indeed distant with me while away, but it was due to her grandad having dementia and a few others things, so she was sad but rather than speak about it she shut herself away and realised herself she pulled away a bit, didn't want to open up and just was very cold, she was sad most evenings while away because of it, told her she could be open with me and it would have been easier if she just told me she had a lot going on. Managed to get her to open up about it, speak to me as she felt more comfortable in person and then things went back to feeling normal and good again.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I'm really pleased.. obviously not at her grandad having dementia, but that she finally opened up to you. Perhaps she has realised, the best relationships are the ones where you draw strength from each other, and not pull away and go into shell when things get bad.

[Shamalien]

I wouldn’t jump to any conclusions until you’ve spent some quality time together. Give it to her good the next day and show her what she’s been missin :P

[Asker]

Just giving an update, so spent the day together after she came back and things are back to normal, I did pick her up from the airport and did feel disconnected slightly. We spoke and it turned out she was indeed distant with me while away, but it was due to her grandad having dementia and a few others things, so she was sad but rather than speak about it she shut herself away and realised herself she pulled away a bit, didn't want to open up and just was very cold, she was sad most evenings while away because of it, told her she could be open with me and it would have been easier if she just told me she had a lot going on. Managed to get her to open up about it, speak to me as she felt more comfortable in person and then things went back to feeling normal and good again.

[Shamalien]

Good to hear :)