Any ideas on what to do please?

[Anonymous]

I feel empty in my relationship. We have been together for 4 years now which is a long time, yes. But lately I just feel empty and numb. I have especially been feeling like this since I left my job due to medical reasons. I don't enjoy s*x anymore. We have talked about it and nothing happens. My boyfriend is at work all day and when he comes home he games on his laptop till 3 am or 4 am sometimes even later. I don't move most days put of bed now. Any ideas on what to do please?

[Anonymous]

You've lost the spark in relationship and that may or may not be permanent.

No one can enjoy sex when they are tensed with something important. Job in your case. Life has it's ups and downs and i think you're problem here might be communication. Ask him to support you, motivate you. Tell him how you feel. Trying staying away from him for few weeks. You'll miss him and that might trigger the spark again.

[Opinion Owner]

Your problem*
Try staying*

[Asker]

Okay I can try that but we live together

[Opinion Owner]

You can visit your parents or friends

[Asker]

I am not speaking to my family currently and I don't speak to my friends anymore

[sensible27]

There might be things that are important to you that you can't express or aren't being address. Find them..

[Asker]

Hmmm I can try

[Isismoonie]

You definitely should take a self care day during the weekend. You need to find some friends from work, get drinks, get yourself dolled up, make yourself feel better. Starting working out more. If that doesn’t get his attention, you have need to think about separating.

[Asker]

I don't work anymore unfortunately so I have no money amd I don't speak to my friends anymore. I can try exercise though

[Isismoonie]

You need to work again. Honestly I’ve been in your shoes before, you’re going to want to leave this relationship soon and you need to be ready

[Asker]

I understand what you mean but I have very bad anxiety now and do not leave the house most days

[Isismoonie]

!! What has triggered it? Is there a way you can slowly start to ease this problem for you?

[Asker]

I have Borth control so stopping that is a good step and doing daily walks I guess

[Isismoonie]

Yes. Please try to love yourself more

[Asker]

I can try too

[England4eva]

Get yourself out walking in the fresh air. Go further and further every week to build up strength. You don’t wanna get depression, really you don’t. Exercise combats that.

[Asker]

Okay thanks

[England4eva]

Don’t walk with earphones in. You need to awaken your senses. Earphones cancel out all the natural sounds that will sooth and help you. Find a nice nature spot to walk in. Always go in daylight we’re people are, and let someone know where your going.

[Asker]

I tend to walk at night as there are less people about but will give it a try

[England4eva]

Oh gosh, not at night! Walk somewhere well lit, no dark spots ok? Not worth the risk. But definitely get moving. It won’t work at first, it requires dedication. Do t expect immediate results. Just give it a chance. Maybe walk with a friend or family member if you can. You might have a dog you can take? They are a great excuse to go walking.

[Asker]

I don't speak to my family or friends anymore. We have 3 dogs but I can't take them by myself as they are a handful but thank you

[Wise4myage]

If you feel empty and numb, than I think you should focus on why that is and try to fix it, as best you can. He comes across as being very selfish, and I hope you are feeling better.

[WhitneySnow]

You guys might need couples counseling

[Asker]

He doesn't wanna do that

[WhitneySnow]

Then you might need to break up with him

[Guy__]

I dont play video games cuz I think they'll turn me into a softie. Let alone staying up that late... destroys his testosterone levels.

[Asker]

Is that proven?

[Guy__]

Are you joking?
Million times.
I can tell you literally probably 100 other things that do. Like sitting for long period of time, like overheating the testis, like breathing air charged with positive ions by the computer creating oxidative stress...

[Asker]

Well he I not going to change anytime soon. He ks saving up for a new gaming laptop

[melnc]

Invest in yourself.

[Asker]

How?