Why is it so hard to leave a long toxic relationship?

[Anonymous]

[WonderBell99]

Victims of abuse often lose their sense of reality.


Deep down, they know that their partner is abusive, but they may not want to leave them because they feel like their SO's behavior is "normal". They do not know what a good relationship is like. Years of psychological/physical/sexual abuse is the primary cause - it has been "normalized".


Sometimes, kids are also involved. They may believe that they would not be able to provide a stable, financially secure childhood for their offspring. Many of these victims who seek out abusive relationships often have a hard time coping with low self esteem. They may feel like they would not be able to find a good partner anymore. Also, abusers don't really start out abusive. It's always the little things at first - like gaslighting, being controlling etc.. this will progress to physically assault, psychological abuse etc.


By the time you realize that you're in an abusive relationship, you're already all in. It becomes hard to get out of it because the abuser keeps manipulating you and you're already in love with them.. or the persona they created to trap you. Abusers *often* seek victims who are naive or "innocent".

Sometimes, the victim stays with the abuser in hopes that they will change.. when they clearly won't. Some get into a relationship with "broken" people to "fix" them... yep, it never ends well


It's a vicious cycle of deliberation, mental exhaustion followed by a sense of helplessness.

[Anonymous]

It usually doesn't come on as super toxic all at once. It starts as a little thing here, a little thing there. Then those things happen more frequently and tend to get worse over time. Before we know it, we're all tangled up in this relationship, and we don't even realize half the time that these things aren't okay. We got used to them to the point where even though our gut tells us this isn't normal, it has somehow become our normal. So we stay, and a vicious cycle is created. It's REALLY hard to break that cycle and find the courage to get out.

[whiskeyontherocks]

Struggling with a decision that dissolves all the efforts and negativity that you have experienced is hard to just throw away as if it was all for nothing.
Just remember what you learned from the relationship and how you have grown as a individual.

[PJH359]

Just like your body adjusts to hypertension and eventually high blood pressure, your mind adjusts to the toxicity in a relationship. And in both scenarios, waiting too long untreated, results in demise.

[20yearsolder]

Because over time you've been conditioned to think that it's normal behavior. And it's scary as hell to get out of it but shortly after you do get out of it you will realize that it was the best thing for you

[exitseven]

Once you are with somebody for a long time you feel like you have invested a lot of time and effort into something and you do not want to just let it all be for nothing. A lot of times people are waiting for the other person to change.

[Chris858]

She was really pretty to me. LoL!
That's the truth, plus I was addicted to her and I loved her, so we would break up and get back together over and over and over.

[Tina19]

People with sense of low self worth find it hard to leave they think they won't find anyone again also fear of being lonely can also make someone stay stuck in unhealthy relationship

[ArrowheadSW]

The signs of the toxic relationship aren't always immediately apparent. Often the toxic person says they will change, but they of course do not.

[Apulu_Imback]

Because you love that person so much and become submissive till this extent that you don't care about yourself anymore.

[dustybiker]

Maybe stop and wonder about that. Do both parties like the drama?

[Yucy_Gluttony]

if you are being manipulated, it can be hard to break that mental prison you willingly walked into

[one1wild00]

one may have been in it so long they don't know there can be any other way a "good" caring relationship can be.

[penteractgaming]

Because leaving feels like a self inflicted injury.

[TheSpaceGnome]

It's not, it would be much harder to stay, so hard that I'd not even bother.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Convenience. You leave this, ya gotta start over again. Not to mention all the breakup/divorce shit forthcoming.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

The person is suffering from emotional trauma that causes them to stay in a toxic relationship. They feed off the negative energy and stress of it.

[Diana79]

Sometime it didn’t start out toxic it be come toxic over time. Plus some get Stockholm syndrome.

[RandomGuy1030]

Females interpret the pain they endure as a sacrifice and sign of love

[Magarmor64]

cause sometimes the toxicity gets the hormones all wild up

[libsaretards]

The fear of starting over

[In_Trance]

because people are creatures of habit

[Anonymous]

Because you're attracted toxicity

[sheikalana]

You got used to it.

[legalboxers]

was easy for me

[Slim57]

It's not