How do you leave a toxic relationship?

[Milkieskk]

I am in a very toxic relationship. I am wanting to leave him but just scared on what he will do once we separate. He will go down a rough path. I know I am not his mom and he isn’t my responsibility.

[Thankful7]

Ok this is trickier than it seems, its not easy to leave a relationship even more difficult if there is abuse that has affected your confidence.

I know its not as easy as just leave, there is a whole lot of emotions going on here and I'm sure you feel overwelmed about your choices.

The fact that you have reached out here to others is great and a good start to your journey. Its not easy to make the choice that you are facing and I admire your courage. Do what feels right for you and know that you are strong and will be ok.

I feel the best suggestion to you is to write down a plan, you need to think of everything that needs to take place to ensure you have covered your bases and also help with the emotional rollercoaster you will be on.
I would put in the plan; where I will go, who is my support, how much money I will need to survive and do a budget, etc...
All the best in what ever YOU decide, this is your choice and be safe x

[Thankful7]

I just noticed a child in your profile picture... if you have a kid together consider seeking help with support further from professionals for your situation, as he will still be involved in your life and child's.
I'm not making excuses for anyone who is abusive but a lot of the time they need counseling for their anger and this would be paramount to be enforced if you have kids together to ensure he gets supported with his issues to help not his behavior with your child (if this pix is of your shared child)

[Hannah591]

You need to speak to some family or friends who can help you get out of it. It's much harder and more risky to do it on your own. If you are ever fearful, you should contact the police immediately or at least put in a report so there's a paper trail. You could even look into getting a restraining order if you're really concerned about what he could do.

There are domestic abuse charities and websites you can go to for further advice and support. I recommend checking them out. If you live together, you could secretly pack and then ask the police to escort you out when you go. You don't want to tell him you're leaving him when you're not prepared to leave straight away.

You can never be too safe, but trust me when I say, you need some support to do this! Good luck and stay safe. I'm happy that you're wanting to take this step, you can do this!

[Anonymous]

You know, I'm stuck in the same situation too.
She's short tempered and after she gets angry she has no idea what she says or does.

And I'll have to wait until she's back to normal.

The things is... i love her. But she's taking advantage of that and treating me like shit.

I deserve better and so do you.

I'm staying, because i know she's acting out because of her pain and all. But i wanna stay and make her better, before i leave.

So that even though she may not know how much she's hurting me now, she'll one day look back, understand and then realise what she lost.

[White_Widow]

Don't get me wrong, but if I'm reading this correctly... You want to make her better so that when you leave she'll be right back where she's now? You say you love her, if you do, don't wait and just leave.

[Opinion Owner]

Mm... ok

[Finchie40]

Without him knowing just grab your things and get out , I you are scared he is going to do something to you , leave a note explaining that you aren’t in love with him anymore and don’t want to be with him , it doesn’t hurt to let the police know as well what you are doing if you are afraid he is going to hurt you , cuz if he tries something you can get him arrested. Your best to plan ahead before making a move , have somewhere safe to go that he won’t really know where you are , a friends house or family member he doesn’t know to much about

[Finchie40]

Thanks for MHO

[coachTanthony]

-------------------That is what a narcissist does... turns it on you and makes you feel guilty if you leave...

You are going down a rough path.. which is more important? His possible rough path or your current one?

YOU COME FIRST.

[Desconhecida]

Love yourself more than you hate or fear him. Do it now or things only will get worse

[DizzyDesii]

Have the “what if” talk with him before parting ways. Although i was mad at my ex for wanting to separate, he gave me the motivational speech of “if we ever part ways, make sure you keep working hard and doing ___, ___, and ___.” And then me being overly dependent at the time told him that i couldnt do it without his motivation. But somewhere in comprehending that motivational speech of his, i learned to love myself. Im sure it made him feel less guilt for when we did part ways. You should try it. Give him some tips and then leave

[yenofed840]

Relationship Toxic? First of all i want to say that do not make relationships if person can not handle. Girls/boys feel that relationship is toxic when a person pays too much attention to life partner, Actually Someone special care about to whom you love. Just sit together and talk with each other with patience. Sometimes couple does not talk with each other with honesty. Love is not a play, Today one get bored and find other or Sometimes broken heart ruins one's life.

If any quarrel happens, try to solve than calling relationship is toxic. If you feel this way, Stay with your parents for few days and think about it where misunderstanding happened and why relatioship has become toxic. Talk about it to your partner. Give space to each other. Sometimes little misunderstanding create big problem. I am have gone trough this "toxic". It is word like as bad abuse.

[AzureGirl]

You need to focus on what’s best for yourself, which is getting out of your toxic relationship. If you’re so worried about his state of mind after leaving then maybe contact one of his friends or family members to look after him when you leave. Just don’t look back or you’ll likely end up back where you started.

[White_Widow]

It's going to sound harsh what I'm about to say, but stop making excuses for him. If it's toxic you just need to get out. It won't be any better for either of you if you stay. You said it yourself, you are not responsible for him only yourself.

I've been in a toxic relationship and it took me almost 2 years to take the step to leave. When I did, it was the best thing I have ever done.

The best of luck, if you need someone to talk to, you can pm me.

[Anonymous]

Just find where to move,
On a day (all day) when he is away ( work, holiday,..) pack your stuff and move.

Before doing it make mental note what you take and how you toke it, don't take anything that is questionable like maybe yours or 50% yours, unless you want him having excuse to contact you and course a lot of incoviniance.

Make sure that you took all and do not need to go back.

Leave your key in visible place with goodbye note where you tell him never to contact you again.

Just be very selfish in this situation, why you want to be with person who makes you unhappy? Imagine rest of your life like that... Just why?

In case he is phisicaly assaults you or threatens to kill, just go to police and tell them everything, there is a lot of women help places in that case just Google it...

In case you have kids together it will be much more complicated than that as you would have to deal with all that who gets kids and when battle...

[bubbles328]

Been there several times and made both choices. One to stay and one to leave. Thing is though if you make that choice to stay don’t expect loyalty back there’s nothing stopping him from cheating on you and/or leaving you when he’s done with you then it hurts twice as much because of the sacrifices you made!
is he saying he will go down this path if you leave? It’s an abusive tac tic so you can’t leave! He won’t do anything if you do it’s just his way to control you

[lightbulb27]

talk to good counselor and police
make plan
execute plan.

Based on what you said, Id get distance and safety first, then settle the junk in court.

this relationship stuff, matters of the heart, is a tangled emotional and dangerous web.

[lightbulb27]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OORsz2d1H7s

[topur]

Do you two have any children? Are you married?

If not , then just leave him. Pack your stuff and go, never look back.

If you have kids or are married, tell him your intentions on leaving him so that you can start taking care of the legal stuff. But don't wait until legal stuff actually is done, just move out tomorrow.

Get someone who can support your: parents, siblings or friends or all of them. You're gonna need them, otherwise you'll just come back to where you are now.

[Browneye57]

"I can't do this anymore, it's over."
"I'm done, this is over. Goodby and good luck."

If you're really scared, just ghost him. Disappear and never come back. If you feel threatened, get a restraining order. Carry pepper spray, or a firearm.

[David_Kek]

That means you love him and you're not entirely sure leaving is the right thing to do.
My advice is to figure out why you're not sure, and keep thinking about it until you are certain, whether that's staying and dealing with the problem, or leaving.

[Bananaman177]

Try the front door. Or the back door. Or a window.

Honestly, it doesn't really matter how you leave, you just leave, that's all there is to it. Don't think about it, just do it.

It's not complicated, so don't make it be.

[certifiedalphafemale]

Respect yourself enough to leave the relationship. You don't deserve to be treated without value. If you feel he's going to act violent, I would suggest dumping him through text and block his number immediately. Then stay single for as long as you like so that you can heal from this relationship. It's okay to cry if you need, as it helps release negative emotions. I would also suggest meditation or yoga so that you may practice mindfulness. Keep your chin up darling, you deserve better than him.

[gaygod_19]

I usually make a list of all of the things they fucked up from the start, and keep on reminding myself I would rather be single forever than being with somebody who makes my existence even more miserable.

[The1Guy]

Don't treat men like children. That's the only way they'll grow. Of course it's hard for them, but there are ways to get out overcome their difficult paths. If he's not looking for one, then leaving him might be the best kind of help on your part.

[boggboss]

By just doing it it's crazy how many people make themselfs there partners parent in relationships and forget that there own happiness is equal to there partners

[Unit1]

[BeenThereLovedIt]

Please view my profile and read my MyTake that starts with "every day I tell myself this"

The answer is there, although you probably won't like it.

[_SOARER]

You are not his keeper, he is a grown man. Leave him, but make sure you let his family know first.
So they can be there to support him.
Thats all you can do. Also let your family know so they can protect you.