Which one of these has been the hardest for to you leave: a toxic relationship, a toxic friendship, a toxic job, or a toxic family and why?

[Anonymous]

People always make it out to be so simple in these situations, that you will easily be able to recognize someone or something is toxic to your life, and just walk out and move on, but often that toxicity has seeped deep into our veins, and we struggle to just walk away, we make excuses, we convince ourselves that life will be worse without these people or things in our life, and then it's 10 years later and you're still there in it.

What has been the hardest for you to walk away from in your life: a toxic relationship, friend, family, or job and why?

Toxic Relationship

Toxic Family

Toxic Friendship

Toxic Job

[PetLover24]

It is often easy to leave toxic situations, problem is is the person in them doesn't do anything to make it possible. This weakness of will is often why they ended up there.

Take a toxic job as example.

Say waitress at a bar where drunks constantly harass her & employer does nothing.

Instead of attending online courses (which via job support centers are usually cheap or free), instead of revamping resume / applying elsewhere, etc. she stays. In this toxic situation. She bitches to friends & family who wonder why she stays there, may even get into arguments about it, and then finds herself isolated when those others give up.

.

Take a toxic relationship as example

The average toxic relationship is due to the victim's childhood, in that they grew up in toxic situations and think such behavior is normal/acceptable. Or if they didn't grow up in such toxic situations they make themselves so dependant - often by not having a job as in the case with many women in these situations - on the abuser they can't leave.

.

A toxic friendship is different

This is different than the two above because typically the two people are toxic in their own ways and hence simply toxic to each other. It's merely "gravitational pull" of toxicity why they stay friends, usually because neither has enough decent / respectable friends to break off ties with the "toxic" friend. There is no dependance on a friendship like with a job or relationship and no deep rooted ties as like with family.

.

Out of all family is the hardest to leave

Friends, lovers, jobs you take on by choice. More times than not you can tell if these situations are going to be toxic before you get involved by the others personalities, behaviors, etc. Even in a job - look at the work environment, behavior of the staff, etc.

It's not because family is family.

It's because people in toxic families grow up thinking this behavior is normal.

[Youngbrain]

In my case it was a toxic friendship , I was friend with her for 14 years and she was kind of an hypocrite with me she told me I was her dearest friend until I heard for someone that she talked shit about me behind my back , but when you know someone for so long you refuse to admit it so I stayed friend with her for a long time after that until I heard it and when I confronted her on message she told me that all she said was fact and that she did not lie about anything 😐😐
I was so mad because not only she gossip about me she told everyone my secrets and she didn't feel bad even for a little bit.
And here I thought she liked me.

[Asker]

Sorry to hear that. I'm a loyalist with my friends. I have your back but you best have mine. That level of betrayal is hard to swallow when you think you know someone and want to see the best in them. It hurts so bad to think all that time they were smiling in your face, they were stabbing you in the back! Hopefully you will find or have since found REAL friends that support you and want to be what a real friend should be.

[matchrestore]

Toxic job. Quitting without another job lined up isn't an option for most people. It can also be difficult to make a lateral move to another company in a similar or better role, so it can be hard to just leave a job when it becomes toxic, it could take a while to find a good fit, and in this age of online job postings and applications it can feel like you're getting nowhere making it down right depressing.

[ManOnFire]

Toxic friendship was very hard for me to let go of last year but I finally had to do it.

Toxic job? I still have that, but it's the people in the work culture that are toxic, not the job itself. I like my job, I just don’t like the people. I stay because it does pay very well and because I always have an opportunity to move up.

[Asker]

100% relatable to me. I loved just about every bit of my last job, except management who were just so out of touch and self-serving and didn't care a thing about my staff, but would pat themselves on their backs for what the staff had done. It's one of those hard lessons we often learn as adults, this playground mentality of "everyone is our friend," doesn't exist in the work world. People can be selfish, rude, throw you under the bus, totally inept at their jobs, gossips, lazy, or just annoying and there is no escape. Like they never graduate and move on, they just stay and fester! Hopefully you can move up and maybe leave behind some of those people who are toxic.

[ManOnFire]

Yep, the playground mentality as you said. And the reason because of this is that the vast majority of adults usually never move past a high school mindset, even at work. That's why the workplace is often so much like high school.

What is happening on my job is that many of the toxic people are finding that they can't be slimy or cutthroat much anymore. We have a terrific manager who is trying to put an end to all that, but in the other offices it still goes on.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Toxic job for me. Military. 1) I couldn't just leave, 2) Stuck slaving away overseas... and I could go on with a big list of reasons, but everyone gets it. It fucked with me long-term in the mental health category way after it was over with. To make it worse I ended up marrying someone that is in once I got out, so I guess I still haven't really escaped yet.

[Asker]

Sorry to hear that. Yeah, that's a whole other level---could you even have legally left the military even if you wanted to? I mean, I know you "can" leave, just not without consequences on your record. Hope you got some help for the mental side of it. That's tough.

[nonyabeez-wax]

Toxic relationship.

Why?

She was my wife. She was supposed to be my life partner, have my back, "ride or die" as they say. Instead she cheated, manipulated, lied, and eventually abandoned me and her son.

It was hard to just let her go...

[Asker]

Ouch. Betrayal sucks, and with marriage, there is that fine line of promises kept and broken.

[Smashingdoozy]

Toxic family has honestly been the hardest.

I was given up when I was 4 years old. My birth parents reached out to me when I was 15, I was excited to meet them only to be disappointed with how horrible they treated me.

I decided not to stay in contact with them but every now and then I try again forgetting how horrible it was or thinking maybe they have changed but no, it's always the same story.

My sister is cool though 😎 and she's practically disowned them too.

[Asker]

Sorry to hear that. Family is a difficult one because they are "supposed" to love you. We've seen every single movie where the big family is just the best, and we all desire that dream whether it is a reality or becomes a nightmare. Hopefully you have the strength to part ways for your sanity, and at least your sister is cool, so there is good there somewhere.

[ODC2112]

A toxic job, I work in a university, the environment is hyper-competitive and by hyper I mean that no other environment has the same levels of competition, you work 7/7 and much more than the time you are paid for. However, the job market in the country where I live is backward, the skills I have are too advanced to be spent on the market, so you can't leave.

[Anonymous]

Toxic family. Especially the ones that have the older family members tricked into believing their lies. They put on their act every month and get family to pay their bills, then spend their money on alcohol and drugs.

I finally had to move out of state to avoid them and hearing the others in the family coming down on me when they called the others crying when I wouldn’t fall for their crap.

[trellbrown84]

everyone and everything has been toxic to me. Im so done I've withdrew from society, picked up a below minimum wage job and will be spending 2024 saving up to buy a pistol.

I'm killing myself on 40th my birthday. The shame i get from family is too much.

I'm an outsider looking in at their families they've created with their partners and Im not allowed anywhere near.

im done.

[petitedollbabee]

Toxic family. Relationships or friendships are optional. You choose to stay. Toxic family, not so much. It’s hard to escape that.

[Asker]

Absolutely true.

[Chandelier8]

Toxic family, followed by relationships, job and friends. Some of my friends weren't hard to let go because they did terrible things to me (i. e. one tried to sleep with my boyfriend).

[Unit1]

Toxic family.

Imagine growing up with these frickin degenerates for like 20 frickin years.

No relationship or job takes frickin 20 years to dump. Not even half as long.

[Asker]

Well, if you're a kid, it's kind of hard to leave a family, but agree it's hard. I had a friend literally being physically abused by his mom and he left her grasp for about 5 seconds before going back and convincing himself he was the only one who could support her. I gave up trying after so many times to help him see the levels upon levels of manipulation going on there, and the verbal abuse.

[Unit1]

Let me tell you it was the longest and hardest thing I have accomplished in my life and I wish I did not HAVE to do it. But that's challenging and overthrowing fate itself.

I wish the hardest and longest thing would not be that but something way more meaningful than simply gaining basic human rights.

[LiamJHayden]

I said "Toxic Job" because I've never had the first three. Actually have never had a toxic job either, but I do have some toxic clients and they are hard to give up because they pay so well.

[AmeerX]

Toxic relationship was hardest to leave. Your family you can never really leave. The blood bond binds you to them wherever you go and it's really upsetting

[Ben487]

a toxic job is probably the hardest b/c you can't just walk away easily. I've been in a toxic job and you can definitely feel stuck.

[andreasderjuengere]

It wasn't hard each time.

I saw shit - and I quit.

[Blueeyes81]

My toxic job pays me well making the prospect of leaving less tempting.

[Asker]

I hear that. My last one was like that. It had quite a few works, and I did love so many parts of it, but the upper management provided enough toxicity to last a life time, so much so that the stress of it all was making me literally sick. That was my line in sand, where I left because I knew I'd rather start over than have that be my life where I feel beholden to that and it's literally killing me. I don't pretend it was easy, but now I am much better for having done so. Best of luck to you, hopefully yours is not 'that' bad because sometimes we have to weigh our need, vs our want.

[Asker]

*quite a few perks

[syncheart]

A toxic job because I can't get another job.

[Carly2005]

Sometimes when you’re in it you don’t realize it. Or maybe person lived with that in their family tend to be more tolerating towards it.

[Rukii]

i haven’t really been in a toxic relationship but my best friend was, and god it took everyone 5 months to convince her to break up soooo i think it’s the relationship

[Sasha0426]

I chose toxic job. I’m still working at toxic job 😣

[Caramelpie]

Toxic father ❌

Toxic ex boyfriend ❌

Toxic job ❌

[Casscondon1987]

Because I was in love and wanted it to work out between us. Off and for 3 years was a long ass time.