How do I ask him to tell me how he feels more?

[Robertsgirl]

My boyfriend of three months is wonderful in many ways. He shows me how much he cares and appreciates me with physical touch and services but he rarely ever tells me so. I think I can count on one hand how many times he has told me how I make him feel. One was how I make him so happy but since then pretty much nothing. So it puts a lot of doubt in my mind despite all the other actions. How do I ask him to voice his feelings more? Or should I just be patience and maybe time will have those come out. His friends have also told me he does not let his feeling out to really anyone. So dunno if that will even help cause they known him for decades.

[Espresso-Grande]

By explaining it how you have here. But if he does start to tell you after you have mentioned it to him, you may start to feel like his words are not genuine and meaningless. You will feel like he is only saying it because you told him to.

While expressing how you feel is very important in a relationship, a person's actions-how they treat you -lets you know the depth of their real feelings. He may struggle to express himself and finds it easier to show you rather than tell you.

I would just be thankful that he shows you how much he cares by the way he treats you. It would be much worse if he said what you wanted to hear, but did not back it up by his actions -that would cause too much emotional insecurity.
.

[Robertsgirl]

Girl you hit the nail on the freaking head I would probably feel that way if I actually said how you felt about it. And I’ve been in a relationship where the guys were all talk and almost no action and I guess that’s one reason that my brain associate that with love. I suppose I also need to learn to recognize real love from fake love

[Espresso-Grande]

Same here. I love to feel loved. I love to hear a guy tell me how much he cares about me and loves me. So i totally get what you mean. But as long as I felt loved by the way he treated me, i would feel emotional secure in the relationship.

[Espresso-Grande]

Emotionally*

[Robertsgirl]

He does make me feel very loved when I’m with him. If he didn’t I probably already had cut it off

[Espresso-Grande]

How long have you been together?

[Espresso-Grande]

Oh sorry, my bad. You said 3 years 😳😂

[Espresso-Grande]

3 months***😂

[Robertsgirl]

Lol yes three months so I get it’s still early too so I’m taking that into consideration

[Espresso-Grande]

Yeah, maybe over time he'll express himself more.

[Espresso-Grande]

Thank you for the MHO ♥

[nachosaresexy]

Three months is still pretty early in the relationship. For now I would focus on his actions and how he *shows* you he feels about you, and as the relationship continues I'd expect him to naturally become more comfortable opening up with you about his feelings.

[Robertsgirl]

Thank you! I will try to give it more time! I just wondered if he hasn’t opened up much to his friends why me?

[nachosaresexy]

Another thought... you mentioned how his lack of affirmation/words can sometimes put doubt in your mind. Do you think that might be based on previous relationships? If so, I'd suggest trying to let go of those feelings as much as you humanly can. Of course it's important to learn from previous experiences, but nothing wrong with leaving some of the baggage behind!

[nachosaresexy]

How he communicates with his friends will naturally be different than how he opens up in the confines of a committed, intimate relationship. Different dynamics going on, so even if opening up emotionally and sharing feelings verbally isn't his normal comfort zone, it wouldn't be unusual for him to get to that point with you but not with his long term friends.

[Robertsgirl]

Yes I do think it has a lot to do with previous relationships too cause they always filled my head with lovely words yet little action. And so obviously his actions meant tons more than words but I guess I enjoyed the words more than I thought i did too. I will just have to learn real love shown is better than fake love told.

[nachosaresexy]

sounds like a good mindset👍

I have a question on a different topic I'm curious to get your opinion about. Would it be ok if I message you to try to explain?

[PortraitOfTerd]

guys dont feel... thats a girl thing, we are logicial, we only think with our brain..