What's interesting about having a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

I consider myself being single my whole life.. the couple relationships i had were never long enough nor interesting! I spent practically all my time working on my engineering degree... Now that i got it, all my energy is focused on my professional life (work) ... My closest friends are all getting married while i have no one.. and being single this long, i don't even think it's worth the trouble... So, i need your honest opinions about this and if possible someone with a similar experience maybe tell me how did you get through it?

[Anonymous]

I wonder how much you can even count those relationships if you’re so wholly consumed by your career. Like were you able to prioritize those girls in a real way? Or did they absentmindedly take a back seat to your job, driving a wedge between you two until it became boring/uninteresting and you broke up? If the answer is that you were able to give the relationships adequate attention and they just didn’t work out, then maybe those women weren’t right for you and you haven’t found the person who shows you why they’re worth it.
But to answer your question more directly, I’d say to envision yourself 10+ years down the road, single, loveless, probably childless as well. Do you think that person would be happy to look back and see that their life revolved around work? No successor to all the fortune you’ve acquired, no woman/family to share the benefits with. No one to come home to, vent about the day, vacation with, or just enjoy in general. If none of that matters then sure, there’s nothing “interesting” about having a girlfriend.

[Asker]

As long as I'm being honest... I never gave them the proper attention.. and reading your reply... I don't even think I'm mature enough! 😳
Still wondering how to get there.. and after 10+ years... I don't wanna end up like you said!
I also don't know where to start.. i mean obviously there's a lot of work to do from my side! 🤯 I'm clueless!

[Opinion Owner]

Don’t worry, I just turned 30 and that’s when I had my epiphany lol. It really depends on what makes you comfortable, like if you really want to actively find a girlfriend then you can always invest in a dating app, I feel like paid ones have the best potential compared to hook up apps like tinder. You could try speed dating (I have friends who found partners like that), or just let it happen naturally. Maybe pick up a hobby and meet a girl there, because at least you’d already have something in common. There’s many ways to find a partner, it’s just about timing and if you feel ready. If you’re not then that’s ok, wait til you are. But remember you aren’t getting any younger and you don’t want to miss out on a personal life because you’ve focused on your career.

[Asker]

I just gotta keep that in mind then, thank you, much appreciated.

[Screenwriter]

You've said it sir: "I don't even think it's worth the trouble."

If that's your opinion of relationships, trouble, you don't want one.

However, there is always compromise and issues when you get two people together who were not raised by the same parents: rules and expectations are different. Goals often are too. A good relationship takes effort. It shouldn't be a CHORE, but a pleasure.

If you haven't met that person, then there IS no need to embark on a relationship and it IS NOT worth it. WHen they come along, you'll recognize them. Until then, keep an open heart, make room for relaxation and joy and the day will come. Some of us are late bloomers.

[Asker]

Thank you

[Screenwriter]

But remember, people always regret spending time at a job. They never regret spending time with a friend, family or lover. There's NEVER enough time for them!!!

[Asker]

Yeah.. knowing and feeling are very different things for me... I guess I'm the kind that learns the importance of things after losing them 🤕🤧

[Screenwriter]

You will never KNOW about feeling unless you give yourself time to be involved with people in relationships outside of work. Knowledge comes through investing in something you think is worthwhile. Education, a skill you'd like to learn: surfing, scuba diving, gardening-- all things I've invested time in learning. So I feel very strongly about surfing, scuba diving and gardening, as I do about my long-term friendships.

Though I love my work, writing, it would be worthless if I knew nothing of friends, familial and other kinds of relationships, which I write about. There's a time and place for work. A time and place to develop yourself and your ties to other people.

Maybe that's difficult for you. If it is, I suggest talking to a psychologist or MSW about that fact, so you stop avoiding it. It's very easy to be talented at "work." Far harder to be talented at relating to and being relaxed with those you relate to on a personal level.

You don't want to look back and regret what you missed.

[Anonymous]

There is no actual benefits.
You get more pussy single
More freedom
More happiness
More money
More free time
More things

[EdwinLivingston_]

You have someone to share everything, to love you, to have sex, to care about you.

[Changiis07]

Well I can say what's interesting about having a boyfriend. Well If you are wanting to date for marriage then yes having a boyfriend well girlfriend in your case would be nice. It's nice to find someone you share similar interests with, someone you can travel and share life with. I've been single for about 2 years now and it's been good. Last relationship taught me a lot and made me realize I had a lot of maturing to do. As for now I don't feel like getting into a relationship as they just take up my time lol I am enjoying having my space and being single. Not everyone is meant to get married and some people find love at an older age. Most all of my friends are married with kids also. I stopped comparing myself and enjoy life and friends and my goals. Maybe right now is not the time for me and maybe when I'm even older I'll find someone worth it. I haven't had a long term either so maybe one day I will or maybe I'll just continue to be single

[Asker]

Thanks.. i just always thought that getting married is the natural course, i mean if only i could stop comparing myself to others!

[Changiis07]

Yes everyone's journey is different. I've seen people find love at an older age. It doesn't happen the same with everyone. Social media doesn't help either when all we see is happy couple and in reality it's not that easy

[Avicenna]

Companionship, physical intimacy

[Avicenna]

Is what you get out of a relationship. If you don't need or care about those things, there's nothing wrong with being single and focused on your career.

[Asker]

Thanks