I've developed feelings for my bestfriend of 3 years. In the first yr she actually proposed me but i rejected her since i wasn't ready for a relationship. Since then we've behaved like an actual couple (basically a half girlfriend). We texted for 6-7 hrs at a stretch, all night, during covid. We flirted, and even sexted and cuddled up. We shared couple posts all the time and spoke about how that'll be us in the future. But all of this was "showing affection as bestfriends". Few months ago she suddenly told me that we should be "pure bestfriends" and that we should put an end to all the flirting and romantically affectionate way of speaking. It was at this point that i realised i can't see her as just a friend and that I've really fallen in love with her. I Proposed and got rejected, since she doesn't return the same feelings and wants us to be bestfriends. she's never had a boyfriend and doesn't have anyone on her mind rn. She's literally the sweetest girl and my closest person, and my love for her is just growing day by day. I've never loved a girl this much and if I don't get with her, ill probably lose interest in women and dating. I don't know what to do anymore, she's on my mind 24x7 and I've lost interest in food, sleep and literally everything. My friends and family are worried about my behaviour. Cried after 5 years. Decided to take a month's break and try to get over my feelings and go back to her as a bestfriend (which i don't think i can) She doesn't wanna let go of my friendship and nor do i want to lose her. But i just don't think my feelings will go and it'll hurt a lot to continue to speak as a friend while having romantic feelings. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. Should I let her go? Or should I give it another shot after the break? Or should I just bury my feelings and try to go back as a "pure bestfriend"?
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