Do I break off the friendship or confess my feelings, maybe both?

[sailormoon336]

I’ve had feelings for someone I’ve known for a couple years now. When we became friends after a little while we decided we had feelings for each other but decided not to act on them because they were still recovering from a break up. Fast forward about two years and I still have these feelings that I don’t know what to do with. Feelings have not come up for us in a long time so I don’t know how to go about it at this point. I can’t say whether or not they have feelings for me still, sometimes seems possible but sometimes doesn’t seem like they do anymore. I have such mixed feelings at this point, I think the route may be to tell him I have feelings but I need to take time to figure out how to get rid of the feelings because I don’t want to lose them as they have been one of the most consistent people in my life for the last couple years and I enjoy him being in my life regardless of my feelings, but sometimes it’s hard to talk to him and be around him. I’ve never been one big on relationships, but I haven’t had feelings for someone like this before. I assume he’s moved on from them and I just don’t know how to bring it up because i keep talking to him but the more I do, the more I ponder everything and overthinking hurts sometimes. Do I tell him I have feelings and need to take some time or do I just stop talking to him and try to just move on from that entire friendship? Or do I just continue to pretend like I’m fine? I don’t want to lose him but it feels like these feelings will never end sometimes.

[OlderAndWiser]

As much as you feel for him, how would you feel if he started talking about the new girl he met and how wonderful she is and he's going to ask her for a date? That's the problem with staying friends; eventually, you will face that scenario. . . and the longer you wait to confront it, the more time you have potentially wasted.

But, he may be feeling the same towards you and wondering. One of you needs to take a chance and open your heart to the other. The biggest regrets in life are usually not the chances you took and lost, but the chances you never took because you were too afraid to reach for the brass ring!

[marmalademan]

sometimes doing nothing hurts more then doing something i had a crush on a girl for 4 years and never asked her out because of that i still feel a little pain thinking about her had i just told her my feelings I'm certain i would have moved on and be happier because of it to answer your question do you want a lot of pain all at once or spread out over a long time its up to you. personally i would go for it and see what happens