Is it ever ok to settle down without love if you don't have much options?

[Anonymous]

That's what my older 41 year-old sister did. Would you say that's still not ok or was it fair?

She's a business owner herself but not married to an awkward engineer in 2015 (she was then 34) and had her very first child in the following year at the age of 35 1/2. She never cheated and actually wants to age with him. She claims to be happy but this is what she once recently confessed to me: She loves him as her life partner but she's not in love with him and sometimes sex seems like a routine. Nevertheless, she tries to do her best to please him, even fakes organisms. She's never going to tell him that though.

To be honest, he's not really an attractive man either. To get an idea of how her husband type looks like, it's kind of like this guy:

That's not her husband but that's similar to how his type looks like. He's not that ugly but isn't too attractive either. Like that guy, sometimes the glasses don't make him look good either.

Yes

No

Updates

1 y

Just like the guy on the picture, maybe her husband would look better without the glasses (contact lenses) and other hair style. He looks like an awkward nerdy type.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't settle for that. I recommended against doing that.

For one - once you grow up in an abusive environment and you escape the abusive environment, you will be able to live comfortably alone, where no one hurts you.

Two - its always repulsive to get close body to body with someone ugly AKA someone you don't even want to look at.

I am currently a software engineer, a white collar worker. I faced this "threat" of being ugly like that nerd in your picture. I addressed that. So what i did was buying good looking clothes (no formal suits or office style clothes) like hoodies, zipped pullovers, cargo pants and lounge pants with either patterns or designer arts, got myself a LASIK surgery so i can stop wearing glasses, grew my hair long and dyed it black and i have cornrows with mini braids hanging behind on a tail and the ladies love these a lot ( they play with my braids). It's my own style.
I also go to beauty parlors to maintain my beauty, clean my skin and face.

I'm not into bodybuilding however, so no 6 pack or huge muscles for me. I am more a fan of recreational activities like swimming.

That's Pretty good for a white collar engineer, don't you think?

[Carolus]

It doesn’t really matter, it all boils down an individual believe or decision. And shit takes you where it docks. Many single or ever unmarried people will argue otherwise about love but it’s never guaranteed you two are in the same love boat considering there are different and conflicting types of love all after different targets. You busy thinking you loved but your partner is after different things. (Finances, family or children, social validation, sex etc) and with time it all goes down. Without love is better because it’s easier to jump ship.

[EmbraceThePain]

I’m sure people have all sorts of reasons to do what they want to do or feel the need to do. Personally, I don’t really see myself settling down with a woman that I do not love because I think that would be an unstable relationship. I think it would cause more headache and stress as the relationship progresses.

[Asker]

yeah that's gotta be a hard job; staying in a relationship without feeling the sparks. When I asked my sister how she manage to do that, her answer is that it was either getting him or be unable to have kids after age 40.

[Asker]

I can't help feel a little sorry for the guy. He does really loves her but she doesn't in that manner.

[litty]

There's always an option. Being alone is better than being with someone who makes you feel alone.

That guy's expression is also what makes him look so ridiculous. The retainer looks fake, his skin looks over saturated, his eyes are so wide it makes his smile insincere, and his eyebrows are raised for some reason. Overall, it's all forced along with the nerd-style glasses.

[Rizwan_khan]

I never settle down without love cuz i can't live with that person whome i do not love. But yeah sometime circumstances doing all that thing but still i never assume to settle down with person who not love me for me their no need for living. Without love evrything is live incomplete for me cuz i want to eat, sleep, laugh, cry and enjoy full sex with my partner.