ADVICE, I think my partner is on the spectrum?

[Anonymous]

I love him and I'm pretty positive we won't be breaking up because of this but I feel like something is off and I can't tell if I'm just crazy or if he is on the spectrum or something.

• He doesn't pick up others social cues well at all
• Can be overly sensitive and get upset from the smallest of things (like when we're not even arguing, but it catches me so off guard bc I had no clue certain things upset him that doesn't upset anyone else I know)
  
  
• Asks me SO. MANY. QUESTIONS. The most random and specific questions alllllllll the time. I feel bad for getting annoyed by this but holy Jesus and the virgin Mary I can't stand it sometimes.

Example; "What did you eat?" Me: burritoHim: "oh. Microwavable or fresh?" Me: microwave. Him: "what did *insert random family member I live with* eat?" Me: I don't know..." Him: "Did you all eat together or did you eat alone?"And it just goes on and on and on and on. I get so tired after talking to him sometimes.

Updates

+1 y

Y'all acting like he's my kid or some pet that I can just take the doctor to get tested whenever I please 😒 he's a grown man, a HUMAN. That is up to him

[DonkeyDan]

There are many more people that appear on the spectrum than statistics display. Because it is a spectrum some people are barely noticeable as being on it, but there is an emerging theory that almost every person is in some way on the autistic spectrum.
You could discuss with him about being tested, but from what you've described it unlikely that he would test as autistic based on current test models.
Maybe just discuss with him about the things that he does, and see how he responds, he is likely totally unaware of how he communicates.

[Juxtapose]

Speaking as someone who was formally diagnosed at age 5, even mild autism is life-changing and he would have noticed it. It makes you feel like an alien among humanity, autistic people don't have much cognitive empathy. For a reference, sociopaths have cognitive empathy but little affective empathy which autistic people do have.

Feelings are contagious to me but I do not understand them intellectually as easily.

A sociopath can look at somebody crying over death and feel nothing but intellectually they can understand people's emotions.

Your boyfriend is probably a whole person unlike a sociopath or an autist such as I. He sounds eccentric, not broken.

[JoyGirl]

Hmmm…perhaps. He could get checked if he wanted to.

Just try exercising more patience with him. If you have any concerns, let him know right away, and maybe he will be able to catch on next time.

[RebeccaBITex2000]

That’s hard. I know he is an adult, but you might have to see if he is willing to be tested. He may not truly realize he is acting the way he is. Talk to him and see

[Guy__]

Gently tell him what you notice in him and maybe he will find a solution himself

[AndrewAzul]

Tell him what you think directly, about his possible Neurodivergence

[Tstrbrainer]

Questions? Maybe he's trying to care more?
Probably worried about something

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

He wants to lead the conversation. If you want, pass me his number and I will straighten him out for you and give him some books and YouTube videos to watch and read so he can be the best boyfriend.

[Asker]

He doesn't want to dominate the conversation, trust me.

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

Would you still date him if he is on the spectrum for sure

[Asker]

Yes.

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

You might wanna bring it up to him because there’s free self diagnosis tests online that is only 50 questions long and will take 20 minutes to complete to determine if he is autistic.

[Juxtapose]

Please don't give the asker bullshit tools that will give a false diagnosis. Only a trained professional can give a real diagnosis.

[Grond21]

I don't know. That's a really tough one!

[BillyBalls]

Borderline Personality Disorder maybe?

[Asker]

Definitely not... do you know the symptoms of borderline personality disorder? It makes autistic people seem like the most normal people in the world..

[Guardian45]

First Q, how & where did you guys meet?

[Asker]

Why? I don't see the correlation

[Guardian45]

The circumstance might be a clue to your Q.

[Guardian45]

I'm inclined to believe that your partner may have some spectrum issues

[shortster]

Get him tested.

[Asker]

Y'all acting like he's my kid or some pet that I can just take the doctor to get tested whenever I please 😒 he's a grown man, a HUMAN. That is up to him and he might be offended if I brought it up

[shortster]

Why does he have to be a kid in order for you to recommend to him that he gets tested for autism?

[Asker]

That's not what you originally said...

[shortster]

It is what I meant.