You don't appreciate what you have until you loose it?

[Anonymous]

My wife passed away in a car accident.
She was only 29 years old and gone to soon.
I treated her horribly and now I regret it. My wife has always been a good person and I took her for granted. I snapped yelling at my wife while I was driving high speed on the free way all because I couldn't manage my temper. Last time a saw her I said some very horrible nasty things to her.
Now I can't live with my self I will never forgive myself. What can I do?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am sorry for your loss and for the guilt and regret you have to carry. I know the feeling.

It can be a torture knowing that you’ve hurt someone you loved the most and you can’t do anything to change it.

Hope you know we all have a dark side and I am sure she knew you loved her.

Only thing we think of when we are facing death - is not what our loved ones told us, it’s what we didn’t tell them.

Once I survived an accident and in the last moments when I was thinking I’d die, the only thing that came to my mind was “Did I tell my family I love them?”, “Did I tell my boyfriend I love him?”

That’s what matters in the end and I am so sorry, you couldn’t tell her how much you loved her and what she meant for you.

It’s going to hurt you, a lot…

But we are humans, we make mistakes and some of them we’ll regret for as long as we are alive.

You can make yourself feel better by talking to her, go to her grave and tell her how you feel, tell her how sorry you are and how much you loved her and still do.

I have hurt many people, my family, my boyfriend. The guilt can never go away once you know you hurt someone so precious and vulnerable to you.

And in Summer, when I got vaccinated my grandpa, who I loved a lot and who lived 1.5 hours away from me, called me asking if I’d assist him to go and take a vaccine as well, I promised him I would. But I procrastinated as I was soaked in my own depression and didn’t think of other things. He passed away two months later from Covid. I will never forgive myself that I could save him and didn’t do it.

The next month when he passed, I was standing naked in December nights to feel the freezing cold, slept on the floor to punish myself for being alive while he wasn’t.

That relieved me a pain but what helped me was that I wrote him a letter, a very big and honest one, and I put all my emotions there.

The next time I went to his grave I asked him to forgive me.

And in the end I sang a song to him, that we used to sing together, he loved that song. I was the only one sitting at a grave and singing. But I felt like this way I was bonding with him just like in the past.

And now I help my grandma, my grandpa’s widow, she’s got Dementia and I often keep her in my house along with my mother and I help her take care of her sometimes. I try to give her the attention and love that I couldn’t give to my grandpa.

And she sometimes tells me she loves me, even though she rarely says those words these days, as she almost forgot how to speak. She feels the most peaceful with me and kisses me often, cause I make her feel loved and happy and it makes me feel happy, thinking grandpa would be happy to see us too.

[lilbitable]

Write her a letter about how you feel and tell her everything you wish you had said. At the end of the letter, write down one of your most cherished memories of her then go to her grave and read it to her. When your done, bury the letter there.
I've done this and it helps in many ways.

[Blackcosmo]

That's amazing.

[Guy13]

so what’s new…immaturity often leads to poor judgment. And the clear laws of Court and Physics has made the following self-evident. For every action, is an equal and opposite reaction.
If living by Golden Rule or kind heart is an impossibility then live in fear of Loss whole of a life.