I heard that boys bully me all my life cuz they have a crush on me and they know they can't have me. Is that true?

[Anonymous]

[caring__1]

No, bullies bully people because it gives them a sense of power. If they can push your buttons and watch you sing and dance, it temporarily gives them more perceived strength. It doesn't last, though, and that's the reason they continue to bully others rather than work on themselves. If you don't want to be bullied, consistently don't respond to their button pushing.

[Asker]

If i ignore these males totally then they tend to leave me alone... One guy didn't though. We get on fine noe but i think i could always tell he had some liking for me because we would stare in each others eyes and stuff like that where he would give me attention that was kinda flattering. Despite him annoying me on purpose

[Asker]

And by he likes me i dont mean romantically. I mean is sexually attracted.

[caring__1]

Being annoying isn't necessarily being a bully. Some people are just very awkward socially. If you feel he just sees you as a piece of meat, and you don't appreciate it, then stop interacting with him and responding to him.

[Asker]

Sometimes lately we have been talking about more serious stuff like school or whatever and his face changes. he's not acting like a totally silly boy who is goofing off. I hope all men dont have a little boy inside and are just hiding it. So i can tolerate him. Like i said we get on better now. Im not as sensitive over his annoying behavior. But yeah maybe thats what was going on is he was being annoying on purpose but he was doing it out of awkwardness. I know other guys wo do that too but it totally grinds my gears lol. Im probably just a naturally very classy person and most people are not.

[caring__1]

See people as they are rather than as you expect them to be, and your life will be less frustrating.

[Asker]

I know who he is i just asking is every guy like that? Are they all secretly little annoying dorky boys?

[caring__1]

No, not all guys, though it tends to be more common among adolescents. Since guys generally don't resolve adolescence till they are about 28, that's probably what you're dealing with.

[Asker]

Oh okay thanks! I would love an older man.

[caring__1]

Just make sure he's in the same developmental stage as you. You both want to be able to relate to your own personal issues and the issues of your partner. Realize that a 20 year difference might be functional now, but maybe not in 20 years.

[Asker]

If he's 40 and im in my late 20s thats decent right?

[caring__1]

12 years apart can work for you from this age on. Obviously, it wouldn't have worked if you were 12 years old. Don't just focus on the age, though. Some people choose to focus on roles and never create their own identity. These people can be still be adolescents as senior citizens. Always look at the overall package rather than fixate on specific attributes or traits.

[genericname85]

some guys handle rejection pretty bad. but not all guys. some are just bullies.

[Asker]

Many or most*

[genericname85]

I don't think it's most. But individual experience may of course vary.

[Avicenna]

In a few cases, yes

[Asker]

Not most? I got bullied and still do by many males in life. Like at work.

[Asker]

If i ignore these males totally then they tend to leave me alone... One guy didn't though. We get on fine noe but i think i could always tell he had some liking for me because we would stare in each others eyes and stuff like that where he would give me attention that was kinda flattering. Despite him annoying me on purpose.

[Asker]

And to some level i feel accepted and safe with his abusive/annoying self xD

[Anonymous]

Yes, sometimes that happens.

[In_Trance]

Sometimes