Why do we treat those we love badly and those who do not care about us with respect?

Question

SkyCastle90 · Accepted Answer

You're getting a lot of feel good answers. Being comfortable with someone does not give that person a pass to do whatever. Sure people make mistakes, but mistakes call for an apologize and a willingness to do better. To answer your question it is called taking someone for granted.

When someone is taken for granted they're not appreciated, respected, or valued.

beebella · Accepted Answer

Because when you're comfortable with someone, you're not afraid to let them see the ugly sides of yourself.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Because people don't realize what they have, sometimes till it's too late... People don't appreciate love, they take it for granted

Emiliamazing · Answer

From what I’ve seen, retreat those closest to us with a little more harshness because we are closer to them and more comfortable. I realize it shouldn’t be that way, but our world is definitely teaching us to be kind and less harsh to others versus teaching us to be examples of love within our families. We should all try to combat this

mstbooblover · Answer

That's an interesting and very relevant question. Probably we feel more confortable to express directly our mood with people whose comprehension and love we take instinctively for granted. With outsiders we may use more caution because they don't know what some of our behaviours really mean.

kkc2018 · Answer

Often times when we are at work or interacting with people aren't close to we are self monitoring. We are making sure we are our best selves. Our confidence isn't arrogance, our energy appears positive and when we're under stress boredom or even hungry, like a snickers commercial we can let those typically good traits slip. This can also happen when we are to comfortable with people like family because its a lot of energy to self monitor. Thats why even good people can slip into that habit... also some people are just dicks...

Espresso-Grande · Answer

I was talking about this to a work colleague just the other day

It's something i can't fathom. i just couldn't be mean and treat someone I loved badly. It's just not in my nature to.

If we have an argument I still wouldn't say or do mean things.

wheresmrcunnunglis · Answer

"people will treat you how they treat themselves" Especially the closer you are to them. People who do as described in the question have a lot of de-conditioning to do when it comes to how to treat themselves or others. As that usually derives from learned behavior from their upbringing which it is NOT the partners job to undo for them. All the partner who is being exposed to this should do is inform the of said behavior, let them know it will not be tolerated, and dip if it persists.

Blackcosmo · Answer

With family you are more comfortable treating them badly (which doesn't make it right) and you can take them for granted in a way because you know them so well. Any normal person is more shy with strangers and wouldn't blow up at them for a silly reason like the way they would do more comfortably with their family. We are also probably afraid of how the stranger might respond since we don't know them well.

dustybiker · Answer

There is a quote I like, “Tell me every bad thing you’ve done and let me love you anyway.”

We don’t mean the harshness in those moments, we are just comfortable enough to share it with those we trust to heal. You can’t bottle it up all the time. It comes out in frustration/anger when you do.

Shehnaz · Answer

Those we love we want them to change to suite our nature and desires but after repeated efforts when we see no improvement then we behave badly in order to vent out our frustration as a desparate measure and a final attempt expecting it to make a difference to the situation because presume that the other person loves us too. However for the people who do not care for us, we don't expect anything from them.

Ευδεμονια · Answer

I sincerely think this happens because unconsciously we think that people that love us will be always with us regardless on how we treat them. On the other hand, we feel to respect people treating us badly because they’re arrogant and this makes them look powerful and so worthy of respect.

slatyb · Answer

Consequences. They know the people close to them won't do anything. If they behaved the same way with others, they know that the other person would be likely to end the relationship. They could lose a job, be ejected from a business, be arrested, etc.

Tiptoetamm · Answer

Personally I think it's comfort your comfortable with you loved ones. I'm not saying it's right because it's not. I just don't know how strangers will react so I limit myself unless the person really pissed me off

annabananna · Answer

Someone who will do this may do so because they are comfortable showing that person their negative side and feel that the person will not leave them when they do so. They believe they can get away with it.

England4eva · Answer

Because intense emotions are only raised surrounding those who mean something to us.
You can’t over react if you just feel “vanilla” about someone.
Of course I’m not talking about narcissistic behaviour or abuse.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Loved ones will accept them, usually no matter what but others will not. People often think, family is always going to be there, no matter what but these others, I need to make a good impression or stay on good terms for school or work, etc...

Screenwriter · Answer

Speak for yourself! At every juncture I seek to treat those I love well by being kind to them.

I mess up in small ways, but not in general and not terribly. I don't put out a lot of effort to respect people I don't care about or don't know.

If this is the way you've BEEN behaving, you might consider the fact that you should try to do the opposite. Good luck.

PJH359 · Answer

Because when we are intimately involved with someone, physically or emotionally, we know how to hurt them the worst.

roy_ricky09 · Answer

Okay here it is...
Fear is one thing... You don't have fear when you shout at your family members because there may or may not be backfire
But with others, you just can't, they'll not take shit fr you.

olivia8888888 · Answer

That comes from insecurity. People who like themselves don’t do this.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Because we are our real selves with people we love…

FilmGuy93 · Answer

People act right when they're worried about losing the other person.

baserunner611 · Answer

Because there always been there for us.  One start, we can not stop

Waldoe · Answer

because we are better than they are, we are civilized and kind

OddBeMe · Answer

We take advantage of the love thinking they’d be more flexible.

PatriceONeal · Answer

Speak for yourself. Only an assholes and female assholes do that.

WoesForWill · Answer

Maybe because we enjoy the struggle to keep someone's attention and know that person who loves us will stick around regardless.

Inbox · Answer

It's because you let them.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

You do? You should fix that, bruh.

JosyJosy · Answer

No idea, I don't agree with it

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I dunno, I don't do that because thats dumb.

citygirlxox · Answer

Good question I don't know 😫

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Truly stupid people do that

aquamarine321 · Answer

I’m not sure, but we all do this

IsoUser · Answer

Simply because you're a horse's Ass!

Twalli · Answer

I try to treat everyone with respect

maximumpower · Answer

not everyone is like that.

boggboss · Answer

We don't you do

IamBella · Answer

I don't treat like this

jahaims · Answer

I don't

Why do we treat those we love badly and those who do not care about us with respect?

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