What is some advice you can give for someone about to meet their girlfriend's family as an adult rather than a teenager?

[Anonymous]

It's been 9 years since I was last introduced to a significant other's family, and since then it seems the stakes have gone up because we're no longer young adults with few expectations and unlimited potential, but instead adults with a developed personality and life outside of our parents.

[SteveSmith1985]

I think that the general 'rules' for meeting her family are more-or-less the same. They want to see that you're smoeone who seems like "a good, solid guy who makes their daughter happy, and who treats her well".

I think you're overthinking this. Your career is whatever it is. If they don't think you're good-enough or ambitious enough or whatever, there's nothing you can do about that. Other than that sorta "resume" stuff, it still comes down to "what kind of guy you seem to be". So, just like 9 years ago: Be polite, engaged, affectionate, respectful and all the things you already know you should do. You'll be fine. I don't think it's as different as you're building up in your head. 🙂

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, I think I'm making it more than it is. I don't have too many social relationships outside of work so occasionally I forget how that works. Plus there's the obtrusive thought in the back of my head reminding myself "Do not say Hi I'm doing your daughter, do not do that. That's a bad idea".

[SteveSmith1985]

hahaha, yes... you may want to keep a lid on that particular intrusive thought. Otherwise, yes, I think you are making more of it than it is. Don't get me wrong, it's an inherently nerve-wracking situation, and you're going to feel nervous. But as for what to DO (what her parents will want/hope to see) I think things are essentially no different from being a teenager. With the exception of the "career/ambition" thing... which, again, "is whatever it is" and you can't do much about. So basically, just do exactly the same thing you'd have done 9 years ago (unless you told that chicks parent's you were doing their daughter 9 years ago)

[Asker]

Dang, now I have no previous experience to draw from!

But seriously, I think you're right. I just think that now more than before I'm aware of the fact that dating someone means "dating" their family to some extent and I really like this woman so I want to be liked.

[slatyb]

Her parents are just like you, only older. They are probably happy she had a boyfriend and really want to like you. You don't have to do anything special.

[Asker]

I think I'm just nervous about being social enough with her sisters and parents, she's joked with me already that she talks to me more than anyone else and its really strange for her to be the talkative one because she's introverted and her family is so outgoing.

I guess I just don't want to seem "boring" or even worse, awkward.

[slatyb]

Don’t worry about it. Just say hello, shake hands, whatever.

[NZGirl07]

I would say don't be overly polite as teenagers are when meeting parents, don't say thank you so much 5 times a minute haha. Be polite but relaxed if you can. Don't be afraid to ask them questions instead of them just asking you. What field do you guys work in etc. And try not to overthink, being yourself and not creating a false persona is important :)

[FictionalCharacter]

I don’t like getting too close to partner families. Cause it’s always the parents who gotta be right.

[RobT312]

I think it’s easer... more to talk about now.
its no longer kid and adult in the room, it’s now adult and adult.
just be yourself, and don’t over think it

[Jamesshinobi]

dont fuck their mother. that could maybe fuck up dinner and you can forget desert.

[Asker]

Now how am I supposed to make a good impression then?

[Jamesshinobi]

does she have a sister?

[Asker]

That's who I'm meeting, the parents aren't that likely but strong chance both sisters.

[PatriceONeal]

Don't make fun of the dads politics at dinner. It's not worth it.