Do you believe that people who grew up in abusive households are more prone to being abusive in relationships?

[ShadezMcgee]

[DermalPunch]

Yes. But not necessarily physically.

I had a great aunt whose husband was a raging alcoholic that would beat her mercilessly and abuse all of their 7 children. He made one live under the house for some ridiculous reason. This child suffered the worst abuse but he didn't abuse others but abused himself with drugs for many decades. His children all loved him dearly and they are all well-educated and productive members of society. His heart stopped in his sleep.

The rest of them are narcissistic and manipulative and extremely mentally and emotionally abusive. One of them is all three and has had two wives leave. He called immigration on the wife he has now once for revenge and even forced her to panhandle in the street when she was pregnant with his child. He is also known for hitting women. She is much younger than him and I guess she has learned how to be happy with him. He is so toxic though my God!

The others who I don't know about all moved far far away from the family only started reuniting 30 years on so there you go.

So either they internalize it or externalize it but they will perpetuate abuse in some way. If they decide to heal, they have to struggle with not falling into certain patterns because they know how to infict abuse.

[AmandaYVR]

Yep, definitely. Just heard about R Kelly being sentenced to 30 years. And his brother, who he is estranged from, said that they both were sexually abused in their family. (I think it was by their father.)
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/jun/29/r-kelly-sentenced-sexual-abuse

[FinneasWilson]

I grew up in an abusive home my father would beat me up every day he'd also hit my mum, I didn't grow up abusive I grew up a mess, I feel like a burden, I constantly have to put others first, I have to agree on everything to make them happy so I'm walked over and used, my last relationship was a narcissist I ended it as I snapped and didn't want that life anymore, I'm not violent in fact I'm scared of my own shadow. So not all kids grow up bad.

[ChrisMaster69]

Personally no.

you want to be pretty much the opposite of what happened to you.

yes you carry a shit load of emotional baggage, however it is often down to how you manage that baggage and understanding what’s right and wrong.

Surviving narcissistic parents is a fairly common therapy, counselling thing.

When you have been beaten with a belt and buckle, you really never want anyone to experience that again.

[ShadezMcgee]

I would agree with that. Individuals that take initiative to seek help from past trauma will more than likely fair better off than those that don't.

[ChrisMaster69]

@ShadezMcgee yep you need to push to change, to realise you are at the bottom of a fairly dark well. That and you get fed up of cleaning the bathroom floor lol

[NathanDavis]

from what I've seen in real life with people I actually know of, is not the majority... just in very few cases

[Agape93]

Yes and no. The chances are higher but in my experience, they tend to shy away from that best they can

[IsoUser]

I truly actually believe that in most normal men show actual restraint in that they have grown up seeing mothers and sisters abused. So how on God's earth could they ever do that to their own family? I Never would.

[FictionalCharacter]

Probably, if it became the norm of them growing up.

[exitseven]

Yes, the cycle continues unless somebody realizes how toxic it is and does something about it.

[madgoat]

Yes. Or tolerating abusive partners. Because it was normalised for them.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes; probably.

But I also think that spoiled brats (both male and female) are just as prone to be abusive.

[Fuentes]

No I do not find this true but it's possible they can be abusive because they ended up thinking it was normal coming up

[DudeDiligence]

Hurt people hurt people.

[Fuentes]

Not always

[DudeDiligence]

@Fuentes True, definitely not always. It's just much more likely.

[BoobMan]

Sounds reasonable to me.