Yeah, it wasn't overly abusive or anything but there are some instances that I know traumatized me. One time when I was about 8 years old when my dad drank liquor (he turns crazy violent on it and wants to fight everyone) he came home it was around 5pm we had our friends in the house and my mom was fighting with him. Friends quickly left and we went into the kitchen with my mom then he came in swearing so my mom moved in front of us we were in the corner of the counter hiding behind her. My dad then started throwing plates and cups at us flipped the kitchen table saying he is gonna kill us. I was absolutely terrified because he was a big and really strong guy and he was completely out of control. My mom went forward to fight him and we all ran upstairs. They fought in the kitchen for a bit and then she yelled for us to call the police and then he got taken in. Shit like that happened around once a week but usually it was my mom gone crazy my dad usually didn't loose control like that but seeing him go crazy felt like he really would kill us.
Yes, and I absolutely hate it when people with good, happy family tell me to stop resenting my parents and forgive them. They have no idea what they are talking about. It ruins your mental health for good. I don’t really talk about it for this reason. No amount of money can bring back my childhood that was supposed to be sweet. My oldest sister ended up in the mental ward and now she is under medication, can’t work, can’t do anything like a normal person. My brother became weird and lack of empathy. Second sister develops defense mechanism that she is mean to almost everyone. I am still traumatised with everything, despite me moving abroad now living far far away from them. Sometimes random things around me bring back memories which making it difficult for me to heal. I am married with a baby now. I promise myself that I would give her the best childhood.
It is a serious hurdle. Daily I have to remind myself to question how it influenced me. I have the same vow to my own children. What we accepted as normal as children is imprinted. I believe that it can be overcome but I do not believe it is easy
It is sickening how during those era especially, abusing kids were so normalised just because they “birthed” us. Society needs to get rid of this cave mentality. Children never ask us to bring them into this challenging world. Oh yes, I know it is HARD. We have made it to this stage of our life, so yes I believe we are able to see the light one day. I am still in the process of healing myself from it.
@Still-alive Yes lol I don’t think I have ever talked about it. I am so used with everyone telling me to forget about it and move on lol so I would rather keep it to myself.
Exactly. People tell me to forgive my sister for molesting me and treating me like shit with verbal abuse whenever she got bored. Or to forgive my parents for being distant and teaching me to basically be afraid of everyone. I try to for my own well being but that doesn't mean i have to be close to them. Especially since their still toxic as hell. People seem to use forgiveness and reconciliation like their interchangeable, but not always. and those people that would tell you to forgive are usually people who were blessed enough to grow up in good families. So don't listen to them when it comes to reconciliation. you can forgive your family in terms of not holding grudges in your heart, but that's for your own sake. so your not carrying poisonous hate in your own heart and letting it turn you inside out.
@superchan2011 Yes I forgive them because I wanted to let it go, not because people told me so. I hope everyone who went through trauma like this find peace one day.
For the first 22 years of my life my mother fit that mold perfectly. I am not sure what happened but she became a better person after that and I am very thankful for that. I still don't trust her with a lot of my personal things though and there are times when she still lets it slip with my father, or so I am told.
But when I was growing up, she was terrifying. You don't know what was going to piss her off and once you piss her off, if she didn't do it physically she will make sure you won't have any self-esteem left when she's done with you after an hour of her telling me that I will never have a good job, a house, a wife who loves me, or kids.
It was nearly always a daily thing since most of the things that made her angry was school and it was a death spiral that persisted even through my first *attempt* at college that I barely made it in with by skin of my teeth. I eventually dropped out when my morale hit zero and was so depressed I probably wouldn't even be angry if someone ran me over with a car.
Well my parents weren't abusive per say but they are a bit narcissistic. my mom is very distant and my dad always taught us to not trust anyone. Says that the lord says trust no man. Which my question is how are you supposed to fellowship with people if you don't trust anyone? I think that was saying not to trust anyone with what they say regarding the lords word. To read it yourself. But back to the point, they werent directly abusive but were emotionally neglectful while expecting us to stay physically tethered to them.
Yes, I did grow up in an abusive home. I don’t feel it’s affected me much, although my kids say it has. I guess the difference is, I just get on with it. I can’t change anything thats happened, but I can put it to rest (and cut off any family where required!)
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Anonymous
(25-29)
1 y
Yes! My parents were about to get divorced when I was just 12 but due to the Indian culture they stayed together. I have seen my dad hit my mum. She started bleeding and filed a police complaint. My dad is the worst man I know. He used to hit everyone including me. I am honestly really scared to get married now because I feel all men will treat me like him. He is literally the worst human alive because he was regularly abusive and would lock the doors after hitting us so we couldn't easily go to police station. I think I could be a lot less irritable if I weren't raised by such a shitty person. I still try and I won't tell anyone about my struggles. I can't respect him and I want a man as different from him as possible. I have honestly never met a man who hurt me so much. He went to jail twice due to his aggressive behaviour.
I don't want that kind of DRAMA in my life. I will take my time to find a good husband. I hope I succeed 😭😭😭
No, I had a very calm and peaceful home. My father had a belt hanging on the kitchen wall, to be used as discipline/punishment when needed. It was always a threat, but he never used it, not once.
My parents taught me and my sister to deal with anger and conflict peacefully, without resorting to physical violence.
fortunately, not me... but there were a couple of households like this, at the street I grew up... wasn't nice to see, sure thing we only witnessed the less of it too
Emotional abuse. Not physical and it was BAD and left inseeable scars on me. My sister was raped by my father while my mother did nothing about ut. so that was the physical abuse in house. I'll never be over it.
I live in authoritarian household. Since I was a kid, If I didn't follow my parent's expectations of me, I'd get yelled at, get my ass whopped, and sometimes get compared to my brother.
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1 y
Anonymous(25-29)1 y
