How can this change?

Question

My husband finds something wrong with everything I do or say. He has become very critical and it bothers me. I have told him, but he doesn't change. We fight every day about something because he thinks it shouldn't have been done or said in the way it was. I don't want to divorce. How can this change?

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

Criticism has become so familiar that people are rarely even aware they are being critical. Parents feel it is their right and duty to criticize their kids, believing that is what is necessary to motivate them to want to improve. NO!!! Never will criticism lead to a long-term change. When we feel criticized, we become resistant to change and less likely to take the feelings of the criticizer into consideration.

Ask your husband to identify his actions and then look at the results. Does he believe his actions are taking him toward his long-term objective? If he believes they are, seek clarification of his long-term objective and ask for examples that lead him to believe his actions are successful. If he admits they aren't working, offer to work with him to come up with alternatives that might be more effective.

Carolus · Accepted Answer

It won’t change until you change yourself to fit, forcing it 100 years by ‘being yourself’ will not solve anything. Your man seeks respect and your submission but you fighting it, doing things your way, you either in or out, either shape up or get a divorce else just do as he says without arguments and he will appreciate you.

Anonymous · Answer

Has it always been like this? What or when did it change? Sounds like you two need to "rediscover yourselves" and spend some quality couple time together. Maybe a vacation? Or, maybe you need couple's counselling depending on the issues and how bad? Sounds like you've lost touch with each other and why you married and are in love? Maybe just as simple as "life" in general (taking each other for granted), and need a break/vacation?

Jen_27 · Answer

Give him love as much as you can

Anonymous · Answer

Marriage counseling.

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