I need help please?

[Anonymous]

So, I don't let people answers or opinions affect my life choices. But I need help on this situation. So I have been working a lot and the. Spending the weekend at my family. I came back the 3rd weekend and my boyfriend sat me down and said "if anything we're to happen between us I wanna stay friends." Then asked me to give him space. So we love together and I work. And that's what he asked for. But here is the thing. He said he isn't sure what he wants right now but persisted to tell me he has been unhappy for a while (a year or longer) and has mixed emotions. Not to mention our lease is up in August. This man hasn't worked for almost 2 years as I provide for us.
He says he keeps me around to remind him he loves me and what we have. And I just want to know is this normal or how long should I give him to figure stuff out. I work from 1:30 PM to 11:00 PM and next week 1:30 PM to 4:00 AM.

Is he getting a free ride? How long until I ask him if he has made up his mind... If he doesn't know what should I do?

Not necessarily will I do anything. I just wanna know what everyone else thinks.

[Ευδεμονια]

I think honestly he’s taking advantage of you… he’s unemployed and found you that work for both. He doesn’t want to make efforts to change his life, since he hasn’t worked for 2 long years!
I think sincerely he’s also disrespecting you, since he has asked you for space and distance, despite being you absent for the most of the day… he’s been unhappy but how could it be your fault? Probably he’s himself the cause of his unhappiness.
I think honestly he’s like a mussel on a rock, he’s taking advantage of your disposability.

[boggboss]

When this gets asked u give the person as much time is needed to decide but u need to also decide what u want u clearly sound resentful about the situation so what will u do

[Asker]

I'm very willing to give him his time and space. But I don't want to be used.. I have taken care of him and loved him and he all of a sudden just tells me he has been unhappy this long... Why wait?

[boggboss]

Because telling someone in a relationship that u are unhappy is never a quick or easy thing also working out if its a temporary thing or nit is important yes u have looked after him but that is irrelavent to how he is feeling happiness wise as why he is unhappy I imagin has nothing to do with how u have looked after him

[Asker]

Actually me taking care of him was a reason to make him happy. He said working made him very unhappy and wanted to die.. so I took it off his hands. Same with anything and everything stressful in his life. I've always tried to make his life as simple and easy and happy for him. I've helped in anyway possible and I give him everything he wants... So maybe he is going through something and it doesn't have something to do with me but he is just saying that?

[boggboss]

Making it so he has to do nothing to get by in life won't make him happy you go from being his partner to being his guardian

[Asker]

It's what he wanted... He asked...

[boggboss]

Even if he asked this its been the wrong thing to do u have taken away part of his being what did he replace work with?

[Asker]

The man wanted to game and do his own thing so while I work he is gaming and doing his own thing.

[Asker]

How was it the wrong approach we talked it over and compromised.

[boggboss]

So u became his guardian or essentially his parent how is this a relationship?

[boggboss]

No u decided to become his parent and he can do as he wants and guess what he is not happy because he is no living life but being looked after

[boggboss]

He has essentially become a child

[Asker]

By his own fucking choice. We agreed on 3 months. He took advantage of me and he didn't want to get a job. How is this my fault? I gave him what he asked for. It's not my fault he ultimately became sad over it. I tried to do what he thought was best.

[boggboss]

Its your fault because if he asked you to kill him would u have done so yes he asked for it but it was a stupid idea that anybody should have been able to see your saying he tool advantage of u bit you knew what u was getting into when u decided to do what you did

[Asker]

Having someone ask you to kill then and ask for a break from working are not the same at all. I did it because I care about his well being and wanted to help. It's not my fault he decided to become lazy and do nothing. I told him to get a job we have had multiple conversations. In the end I can't force him to do what he doesn't want to.

So yes I knew what I was getting into in the beginning and in the beginning it was fine. It got worst and I tried to fix it.

That's not my fault. And tonight I talked to him more and found out what the space is for more specifically. So thanks for your opinion. But it wasn't helpful.

[boggboss]

Lol no they are not the same but the essence is the same he asked for somthing that was not helpful and u allowed him to do it saying u can't force him to get a job is like saying g u can't force him to not cheat ofc u can but if u let him you are also to blame at this point its whatever tho do whatever you wants its only your happiness that's effected

[Asker]

Lol what world do you live in where you can force someone to do what they dont want to. If someone wants to cheat
They will regardless of if you want to stop it or not. Period.

[boggboss]

Sorry do u have a brain if u have a partner that wanted to cheat would u let them cheat or end the relationship?

[EmmaMary]

I seem to remember reading a very similar question not so long ago. 🤔

[Asker]

I haven't posted in a very long time.

[EmmaMary]

But haven't you posted this before?

[Asker]

No same problem different person.

[EmmaMary]

Now that is very strange indeed.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHGirl.

[Guy13]

There is a whole lot going on there... Space, unemployed, lease ending. It seems like you have lots to get through. Parents or close friend to talk too?

[Asker]

I talk to a lot of people. But it's not much help. I give him his space. But I just hurt because I don't know what I did to cause it... It was so random..

[In_Trance]

If you don't let people's answers and opinions affect your life choices, then why are you asking for help?

You logic is flawed

[Asker]

Not really. If someone tells you you a restaurant you've never been too, but have always wanted to try. Is bad. Are you not going to go due to someone elses opinion? Or are you still gonna go and try it out for yourself. And get your OWN opinion. It's just nice to have a general idea of what others think. For me at least. So..