Girlfriend's flatmate doesn't have boundaries?

[Anonymous]

I was over at her place last night. We've only been official recently.

Her flatmate made her feel really uncomfortable by literally asking me, in front of my girlfriend, if I wanted a back massage. Which I refused vehemently.

Her flatmate knows about us, knows how I feel about my girlfriend and how she feels about me.

I really hate homewreckers

[D_Bone_Steak]

Well, you do recognize she's a homewrecker and I would assume you thus know the ultimate goal of one. You, and your girlfriend should set up the defenses against this because I don't think it will just stop on it's own. My guess would be that she's going to try and seduce you and make it known to your girlfriend. Be guarded against it and make sure you let the girlfriend know you're going to be guarded against it. The more your girlfriend knows about it the better in my humble opinion. It would prevent the flatmate from twisting things into looking a certain way.

[Asker]

In this case, I think the best is to just avoid going to my girlfriend's flat is her flatmate is there and bring her to mine instead or somewhere public.

Man, some people are so twisted.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Some people are twisted. Just be thankful you can recognize it and avoid it. My childhood is filled with dumb fucks on Jerry Springer or the Murry shows just falling for that kind of shit. It makes a person actually doubt humanity. Avoid it, you see it, I think even your girlfriend sees it, so do what you gotta do to just avoid it. That's drama nobody needs.

[Asker]

Yeah, for sure man.

I let my girlfriend vent a bit about, and she sent me this earlier on:

"You're such a conscious person. I've never met anyone quite like you. Thank you so much for listening".

She's now saying she's going to bake me a cake for when she comes over to mine Saturday night to keep me company when I work.

[Subarugirl]

it's your job to create and maintain your own boundaries, not your girl friend's room mates... she should respect your boundaries, but in order to do that she has to know them. Apart from that, it's up to your girlfriend to set boundaries with her room mate.

[Asker]

It goes both ways.

You should never, under any circumstances, openly flirt with someone's partner in front of them. No need to be explicit about any boundaries.

[Subarugirl]

Yes there is a need for explicit boundaries and it is your job to set them.

[Agape93]

Soooo is there a question here?

[Asker]

How do I deal with this situation?

I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in her flatmate. I also don't want my girlfriend to feel uncomfortable.

Maybe we should just avoid her flat for a bit and stick to mine and other places.

[Agape93]

That would be best and avoid going there when your girl is not right there with you.

[Asker]

girlfriend just said "Thanks for listening to me I feel better. You're such a conscious person thank you so much"

I try not to give advice, unless she asks for it. I prefer to listen.

Her flatmate is sounding more and more like a nutjob... Plus she's a bit of a copper (as in authoritarian) when it comes to their flat.

[Agape93]

I hate roommates like that

You from the UK?

[Asker]

Originally, but I don't live there anymore

[Agape93]

Gotcha