Girlfriend just revealed she doesn’t care about my boundaries?

[Anonymous]

So I’ve been with my girlfriend for 4 months now and when we first started talking about boundaries she agreed with everything I had to say but she has been ignoring them every now and then and last night she revealed she only agreed with them to be smart, she never cared about them, to give you an idea she lied to me a few times about a guy who was a friend, she said there was no attraction or flirting but later it came out that there was and he was in a relationship she knew about, in order to try and gain a bit of trust back I wanted her to communicate more throughout the day, she can do whatever she wants but all I asked was that she let me know, yesterday she had a day off work and went to a friends, all good and well but when she said she was leaving she stayed longer so she says and didn’t communicate that, this is the smallest of the problems but with the buildup of her ignoring boundaries it became serious, she said she didn’t care about my boundaries and just said everything I wanted to hear to be smart

I don’t know what to do

[HollyK21]

You guys are still early in and it’s a good time to really decide if she’s someone you can move forward with. Your boundaries are yours and yours alone to enforce, if she doesn’t respect them, whatever they may be then she’s not the one and you should move on.


I will say it’s hard to gain trust back by keeping tabs on her, she won’t feel good about that and probably not abide by your boundaries. That said, the right woman won’t cross them in the first place, which she did numerous times with the male friend. So what happens next between you two is your choice, but just know if you stay with her she probably will not be alerting you as to where she goes each time, and that’s just her as a person.

[Truthatanycost]

It does not matter if a person ignores boundaries if you enforce them. This only becomes problem when you have boundaries that you do not enforce.

[RedInnocent68]

Are they stupid boundaries? Does she have any?

[LiamJHayden]

Someone who does not respect your boundaries does not respect you as a person. In your place, I would dump her and move on.

[inhua]

time to move on. she doesn't respect you