What would you do if your long-distance significant other needed a major surgery?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who needs surgery and she is in a long distance relationship and told her significant other about the surgery, the date and anything, and he has not offered to even be there, or asked how he can support her. They've been together for awhile now, and he tells her he loves her and even calls her his wife, and talks about having a family etc... Is this something she should ask him to be there for, or should he have offered to be a support in some way?

I know if my significant other (even if it were long distance) needed surgery the first thing I would do is offer to be there, and or ask how I can support them. Maybe that's just me? My friend says she'd do the same as me... is that just a woman's reaction and not something men think of?

[Danny_dan92]

A “long distance” one? First of all I would never have another LD relationship ever again

[Iron_Man]

Doesn’t she have insurance

[Asker]

She does have insurance. She's not asking for financial support, but it's major surgery, but she will need help physically for at least two weeks during the initial recovery and will be out of work for at least 6 weeks for full recovery.

[Iron_Man]

Does she have family what about the boyfriend?

[Asker]

She has lost most of her family over the years due to having older parents and being an only child. That is why I was asking the question, I personally think he should have offered to be here for her, but he has not, as that is what I would do for someone I cared for as much as he claims to care for her. I know for a fact if their positions were reversed and he needed surgery, she would have a flight booked for a day or two before his surgery and she would be there for him for a few weeks at least without him having to ask her.

[Asker]

She knows I'll be there to help her for the first few weeks even if he doesn't come out, but I know I'd prefer to have my significant other by my side during such a time than a coworker/friend.

[Iron_Man]

Right how far does he live from her

[Asker]

She lives in Kansas and he is currently in Connecticut

[Iron_Man]

That’s pretty far away

[Asker]

I agree with that.

[Iron_Man]

Thanks 😊

[Iron_Man]

Thanks for most helpful Award

[barn_stormer]

long distance relationships are a joke. he probably doesn't even love her

[In_Trance]

How often does he come to see her?

[Asker]

He has not come to see her, she goes out to see him. She's tried to get him to come out to see her, but it hasn't happened yet. The "relationship" seems like it's all on his terms rather than a mutually beneficial situation (she does not see that yet).

[In_Trance]

So how often do they see each other?

[Asker]

In the year they've been together I think they have seen each other once a month, maybe every other month.

[In_Trance]

Seems legit
What is the surgery?

[Asker]

She hasn't told me what the surgery is, but she will be in the hospital at least 3 days after and out of work for at least 6 weeks to recover.

[In_Trance]

Seems sus