For those who have had parents die, how did you feel when they did?

[Anonymous]

I’m sure some people who have had great relationships with their parents felt great sadness but what about those who don’t have a good relationship…. were you relieved? Indifferent?

[Smashingdoozy]

When my mom died I was an absolute wreck. It was like my world came to a screeching halt and then everything was ripped out from under me. Stable home, relationships, hobbies, everything was just gone and I had to start over not knowing anyone or anything about myself anymore. I was suicidal and struggling with my identity and really just didn't know how to live life.

Eventually picked myself up for the most part.

When my dad died, it was different, I knew it was coming, but it's not like it hurt any less. I was taking care of him for months before hand and we had planned his death essentially. So we could do all the things we wanted to before it happened. Of course we didn't. I think I coped better with that one, mostly because I had support, though I was still reckless and impulsive. I flew to the UK 2 days after his funeral and spent over a month there getting absolutely trashed in every imaginable way possible. Then had to fly back and basically cope with reality and deal with all the things he had to deal with when my mom died.

[Agape93]

Damn I'm sorry hon

[Staximus]

My parents were good people for the most part and I was close to them, I felt great sadness and loss. My buddy at work says he felt relieved when his dad died. His dad was a psycho drug dealer who beat and bullied him, robbed and shot people in front of him when he was a kid, and tried to humiliate and fight him the last time he saw him alive. He didn't talk to his dad for 15 years before his dad died, and when he died basically everybody in the family except his grandma was relieved and finally at peace. Maybe even her, too.

[Agape93]

I'm honestly just waiting for it. Fuck em both.

[Asker]

May I ask why?

[Agape93]

Neglect and emotional abuse, etc.

[Asker]

I’m going through the same with my parents

[Agape93]

Sorry to hear it man. Don't be afraid to cut them out of your life.

[Asker]

It’s hard because of my culture. I’ve made a great success out of my life, I make good money, a great position at work, bought a house. Yet the still feel the need to control me. And it’s hard because my culture believes you can’t disown ur parents. So I feel like only way out of this is to wait it out until they die.