How did you handle losing a parent or someone very close to you?

[WowwGirl]

What got you through it?

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1 y

Thank you for all your replies, I appreciate them all.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Here are five ideas that might help you cope when someone you love has died:

Join in rituals. Memorial services and funerals are times to gather. They can help people get through the first few days. They are ways to honor the person who died. Just being with other people who knew your loved one can be comforting.

Accept your emotions. Don't stop yourself from having a good cry if you feel one coming on. Accept the feelings you have, rather than think you "should" feel a different way. Sometimes, others may expect you to "move on" before you’re ready. But take the time you need. Know that you can (and will) heal over time. Healing doesn’t mean you forget the person who died. It doesn’t mean that you miss them less.

Talk about it when you can. Some people want to tell the story of their loss or talk about their feelings. But sometimes people don't feel like talking. That's OK, too. No one should feel pressured to talk.

If you don't feel like talking, find ways to express your emotions and thoughts. You can write in a journal. Or you can write a song, poem, or make a photo tribute about your loved one. You can do this just for yourself, or you can share it with others.

Preserve memories. You could do something to honor the person you love in a way that fits. Plant a tree or garden. Take part in a charity run or walk.

Make a memory box or folder that has reminders of the person who has died. Include mementos, photos, quotes, or whatever you choose. If you want, write a letter to the person. In it, you might include your feelings and things you want to say. Some people write a gratitude letter. It’s a way to thank your loved one for being a part of your life. If they encouraged good qualities in you, keep living those good qualities as a way to honor them. Love, gratitude, and meaning can help you through a difficult time.

Get the support you need. It takes time to adjust after a loved one dies. And it helps to have plenty of support. You can get support from family, friends, or adult mentors in your life. Grief counselors, therapists, and support groups can help, too. If you want to find more support, ask a parent, school counselor, or a faith leader to help you find support that could be right for you. You can give support to others, too.

Source:
https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/coping-grief.html

I hope it helps.

[WowwGirl]

Thank you

[XavierSteele]

To be completely candid I didn't handle my dad's death well in 2018. Being bipolar didn't help, but when he passed away I started drinking heavily again. It wasn't much longer that I started doing drugs as well. I ended up not facing the grief and it cost me more than I can express. I ended up going to therapy in 2019 after I did something really stupid during a manic episode. I realize now that had I been willing to face the grief, I would have put myself on the first steps to healing rather than self destruct.

When my mom passed away this last October I was prepared for her to go, and while I will always miss her and will never forget her, I was not as grief stricken as the first time. I can't lie though, therapy and meds are the things that keep me going.

If anything the person that has lost a parent should always remember that they loved them unconditionally. So none of the BS that goes on in families matters at that point. Also it helps to allow yourself the time to grieve and to grieve in your own way. Only when you allow yourself that can anyone start to get the healing process started.

P. S. Weed helps too :)

[RolandCuthbert]

Beautiful, both of my sisters passed away at the end of 2021.

I didn't even know who I was immediately after. I can't even tell you what transpired in that time period or anything. I vaguely remember the funerals, crying with my mother, my nieces/nephews and other relatives.

I can't tell you when I went back to work or how the days were following that. I just remember coming out of it and feeling a little bit like myself.

I guess for me I was survival mode. A was on automatic pilot for a few months. My clients sent condolences and kept paying me miraculously. Friends checked in on me often. But I couldn't advise you other than do what you have to do to survive. Then as time goes on, you start to heal to a point where you begin to feel like a person again.

[ArrowheadSW]

Wow that is rough. How was it that both of your sisters passed on around the same time? How tragic.

[RolandCuthbert]

@ArrowheadSW I don't know how we survived it. When I look back, I can only remember one big giant funeral. Because we were in constant mourning. And I must have taken off like a month and a half from my contract. My employees worked and I remember vaguely responding to some calls and ordering some equipment. I had to sign checks and pay some bills. But I can't even tell you what I did. I was truly on autopilot. But my clients just supported me. They didn't ask for much or anything. And even when I came back, I was mostly just staring at the walls. I didn't want to be home. I felt like I was in a dark well for a long time.

[Finchie40]

I honestly don’t know, I don’t think I will ever be over it to be honest but I know it’s the way of life , we are all going to die one day so all we can do is keep going forward and try to live our lives as best as we can , losing my Mom and brother was life changing for me , it made me see things differently in life , I felt lost and felt like what is really the point of life? knowing I will never be able to talk to my mom or my brother again , So losing loved ones is something we can’t really explain to someone that hasn’t lost a loved one , it’s like we are in a new chapter in life cuz the sadness and pain doesn’t go away it will always be there with us and no one will really understand what you are going through , I don’t think we know what we are going through to be honest , Part of me feels like I haven’t really grieved yet , cuz I am still lost for words and still taking each day as it comes

[serious]

I already lost someone and yes in real life. A few days I lost my grandfather, he was always fond of me but in the last few months I could not give him much time. I could not speak to him due to my work commitments. I loved him too.

No, I am totally fine. Yes I only prayed for his soul to rest in peace.

However, There is nothing to deal with here. I am very logical and rational and I know that one day everyone will die. One day even I will die too but until then my life continues the way it always did.

Nothing changes for me, there is nothing to deal with. I don't need someone to comfort me or say anything nice etc. I don't need breaks. I am totally fine.

Thanks for understanding in advance.

[jamesgoldman]

Haven't lost a parent but lost all my blood grandparents and my antique dealer who was a great mentor

Paternal grandfather
Too young to remember much about him

Maternal grandfather
Confusion and ended up with a phobia of hearses

Maternal grandmother
Sorrow but turned to stoicism and started huffing nail varnish

Paternal grandmother
The dreaded stoicism returned but manifested clearance in alcohol

My antique dealer
Stoic, drank a lot and lit a cigar in memory (do so every year now)

[Agape93]

Same as anyone else I lose. I grieve a bit, then celebrate them on Samhain before sending them off on their journeys.

[WowwGirl]

Poor pink

[Blackcupcake]

my loves ones support got me through it… they were there every moment when I felt like my whole world was breaking apart and they allowed me to feel the way I felt while still holding onto me so close and not leaving me alone for a moment… they were my light, they gave me reasons to smile and laugh despite all, and they gave me hope, that it would get easier…

[Gibbons44]

My fosterparents abused me significantly and the support system I found was the social norms of a country I moved to, so, in that sense, I never had any parental support, only disgusting and at times genuinely mean/evil fosterparents (who are unfortunatelly still alive and still trying to meddle with my life)

[worldscolide]

It's not something you ever get over really. My wife lost her mom in 2017 and her dad in 2020.. I lost my grandfather in 2004.. Both of us are still working through it.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

When my Mom passed away it was all sudden and sad for me to go through, I handle it pretty well, but when my Uncle passed away I took it worst. So it hit me, many years from my Moms passing.

[DJB72]

Badly in a word.

My brother died in a road accident when I was a kid. My dad died of cancer when I was in my 20s

[clampfan101]

Time and closure are the only things that have helped with the passing of my first girlfriend, and I’m ready to move on, but the pain’s still lingering. I know it will never fully go away, but it could still be a lot better after over 10 years…

[Bricealan]

Never Will get over it.. Mother died of cancer. Worst nightmare ever, and will never recover from her death.

[loveslongnails]

I do what I know they'd want me to do, and live the life they prepared me for as parents.

[AsaKyo]

I really don't wanna think about this, but I probably couldn't handle it very well

I would probably be depressed to no end

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Just kept going. My uncle committed suicide rather unexpectedly for me. Left his wife of over a decade, went to Florida with some woman and then just offed himself.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Omg… That’s so strange. What happened to him? What lead him to do these things?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

And I am really sorry for your lose.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Unfortunately, we weren't that close. He and his wife from my perspective were doing well. They had a four child family, he was a great dad, always gave them his time. The children were adopted as she's barren.

[LiamJHayden]

Lost both parents. Mom when I was 16. Dad when I was 19. Truth be told, I am still working through it.

[mrkdvsn]

I've lost my Mother, Father and older sister, and I handled all of these losses very well. Having all of them living a considerable distance from me may have had a lot to do with it.

[Tim-loves-it]

Not very well.. took me a few years to get over it

[SweetTwistedSatanist]

I'll just keep on living for them. They wouldn't want me to give up and join them so soon.

[Jay3344]

It’s hard. Usually one rough night drinking and the pain stops