Boyfriend said he is a hectic/ spontaneous person and won’t change for me?

[Anonymous]

We’ve been dating for a few months. At first, we would make plans and stick to them. However, he has started to stick to plans less. I had a talk with him about it, and he told me at the beginning he showed me his best side. However, as he is getting more comfortable with me, he is becoming more as he is naturally ie that he is a hectic and spontaneous person and doesn’t like to stick to plans. He told me he likes to see how things go day by day and doesn’t like to make plans for specific days and times. He told me he is unwilling to change as this is his personality. Is this normal for him to say or is it a red flag?

[Gent207]

Huge red flag!

An unwillingness to change is a huge red flag. Imagine living with him and he always left the toilet seat up, never changed the TP roll or never refilled the water pitcher or coffee maker, little things he won't change because they are "part of his personality". When nothing can be further from the truth! You can change!

Leave him!

[spartan55]

If you want to put up with it, then have fun. However, I think you would be crazy to do so.

[LazerBean]

Yeah people don't change, they just might can fake it for a while. That's dating rule #1.

[Guy13]

Sounds like another girl to me 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

[jahaims]

Normal. If you have to make someone be someone they aren't just so you want to date them then you shouldn't date them