My boyfriend isn't very thoughtful. Will it change or is it who he is?

I love my boyfriend, we've only been dating for a few months be he has is really good for me. The only thing is, he just isn't thoughtful. One time we were looking for food and he said "actually, I can just eat the leftover pizza at home" referring to the two slices of pizza in his fridge from the day before. Leaving me to just find food alone. He also never texts to check in, he doesn't really text at all. He never takes pictures. He didn't get me a card for my bday or even a gift really, instead he just offered to buy me a couple of things I want from a store. It was just really impersonal. I'm his first real girlfriend so on one hand I realize he's figuring out how to be a boyfriend... but what if he just is a bad boyfriend. I don't want on this whole journey to realize that he is who he is.

  • Wait it out
    Vote A
  • Dump him
    Vote B
  • Give him some time, but don't heavily invest
    Vote C
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Obviously I've told him how I feel, we've had several conversations. But I can't beg someone to be thoughtful or else it's ingenuine.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You should not try to change him, that usually only ends bad. I can understand why you don't like these things, but I can also relate to your boyfriend. He is not trying to be thoughtless etc. it's just the way he is. I hate the whole texting to check in stuff or even texting at all, so I wouldn't do that either. If my girlfriend told me hat I had to start texting her more then I would get seriously annoyed. The birthday thing and the food situation on the other hand is a little bit different. It could just be as you said that it's his first time in a relationship and he doesn't really know much about how things work. If you give it some time I think that those things would definitely get better.

    Anyway what you should do (Imo) is think about your relationship the way it is right now. Is it worth it? There may be improvements over time, but if there isn't would you still be with him?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Why don't you just tell him that these things bother you? He won't figure anything out unless you tell him exactly what's on your mind. If you don't say anything he'll just think that he's doing everything right. If you want him to be more thoughtful you need to encourage him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • things won't work, but not because he's a bad boyfriend.

    Things won't work because you two don't communicate. You two have clearly different expectations that needs to be sorted out. So have a serious talk with him.

    Your goal is NOT to get everything you want (i can only guarantee you one thing; it will get you dumped), but to find an agreement you're both ok with.


What Girls Said 0

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