How can a son maintain balance between his wife and his mother?

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Every kind of sympathy goes towards the girl as she leaves her home to go and live with her husband.

But, from husband's perspective, he is like a cheese slice in a sandwich. He needs to keep both of them happy and maintain a fine balance.

Just what would be your steps in this scenario?

For girls, how would you take action in such case?

[OlderAndWiser]

You must encourage your wife to develop a good relationship with your mother, and you must encourage your mother to develop a good relationship with your wife. It is especially helpful if they get to the point that they spend time together without you being present, like going shopping together and having lunch on a Saturday. If they become allies, they will not place you in a position in which loyalty pulls you in different directions.

I have also announced to both my wife and my mother that if I feel anyone is forcing me to choose between her and the other, that I will always choose the other, as I will never let someone win by forcing me to choose. If I do that, I am surrendering control of that part of my life and I am not a weak man who would ever do such a thing.

[NathanDavis]

for me, it is not about balance...

balance means you would see them as "equal" and they're not equal at all

yes, both are important... but they are so, in much different ways

your life, your dedication and your priority should be your wife, the one that you've committed to share your being with, my mother already had and has her own life and marriage... she does not really have a say on dictating my life if that's what this is about...

if it is about quality time, well... she won't be missing me nor she would want to me to be there for as much as I would be with my wife, lol... she already has other sons, her own husband, all her relatives, grandkids and other stuff... lol

[mermaidcancermoon]

Focusing primarily on the person you live with.

Tending to the mother once a week with things she can't do by herself. Some moms cling to their children in a codependent way when they have no social life or other interests of their own. Have to be careful that its not our responsibility to play court jester when moms get bored and lonely. It takes away from the time needed with our own lives

[menina]

It's a complicated situation but only happens if there's no connection between the families. It's important for both to get along. And most important for the spouses to get along.

In this case I would have nothing to worry about since my mother wouldn't meet my husband (if I had one).

[D_Bone_Steak]

I had to take a stand against my mother. My mom was being a bitch and was out of line. Serves her fucking right because she calls drunk and then flips out when my wife says "That's your Mom, she never calls". See to my wife that talks daily to her Mother, my Mom calling once in a year is like 'never' to her. My wife didn't mean shit by it. But my alcoholic mother has to flip her shit about that comment and chimp out.

I'm logical... these bitches better know their fucking place or I'll put them in it. That includes my mom. She lost her slave ownership of me the day I turned 18, so she better shut the fuck up if she's stepping out of line. My woman better too... she's not special.

[LazerBean]

I don't know, my husband's mom is awesome so it's not really a problem. Honestly I don't think either of us would have married someone who wouldn't or couldn't love our family and become a part of it.

Same for my mom, her and my grandma are like best friends. So I guess the answer is just marry someone who has an awesome mom lol.

[Gent207]

Uh no dude

Yes ideally both spouses should have a healthy relationship with their in-laws. But in the opposite case they should not be afraid to cut off ties from toxic family members. Yes this includes one's parents.

As a couple you are a new family unit and should be respected as such. However natural exclusions apply in cases of abuse and neglect.

[bamesjond0069]

Do whats right, not just take a side because thats mom or thats wife. If your wife is being unreasonable put her in her place. If your mom is being unreasonable then cut back your involvement with her. These things are EASY to navigate if you have balls and some principles and can accurately judge a situation without letting emotional women influence you.

[Anonymous]

To my mind, your wife is your future. She should be number one in your life.

I suggest you need to explain to your mother that you are married now, you still love her but you're wife is your focus.

If you don't, then yes, you'll be at the beck and call of both and it'll be tense for everyone.

[Guy13]

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Genesis2). Read Ephesians 5... all of it especially attuned too the portion addressing the Man specifically.

[slatyb]

His wife has to come first. His mother is an adult and can live her own life without him.

[Anonymous]

Bitches be crazy. Don’t marry a bitch n things will be good.

[panamared1]

wife should come first and mother should know that

[Andres77]

Once you get married, wife first.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Shouldn’t it come naturally