Biological Clock?

[DanniOnnaNimbus]

Do any of you ladies feel even though your not "30 and up" your biological clock is ticking? I always feel like im on a timer to hurry and do what other people are doing. Girls my age are getting proposed to and knocked up and now I want that... i know its bad because for one, i know I want commitment but am i ready for marriage yet? or a baby... its ok to have baby fever at 23 right? I don't know. Just a thought and question. Am i the only one.. The urge to become pregnant and married before whatever happens lol
It almost seems like a trend and that's dangerous

Updates

+1 y

Tbh i wish i can select all of you as best opinion

[quaranta]

I would advice to get a lot of clarity between the fantasy of having a baby and the reality of having it. A baby to care about is a part of yourself you see growing with constant surprise, and it's undeniable the good part of it. But, beside the actual difficulties of being a mother in the first few years (it will worn you out, count on that), in the modern world, it requires a lot of responsibilities and preparation. Many, many people are born in bad families, parents who don't have the actual resources to give them a decent childhood or who can't even manage themselves in their relationships, leading to toxicity in the house. My neighbours (foreigners) got 2 children because their tradition hurries them up. The boy is a bully who was ignored in early childhood, the girl cries very strongly every single day from 3 years, ignored too. Both kids aren't followed by a proper doctor (let alone psychologists) because parents are both too ignorant and too poor to adapt to the society, and live by doing illegal temporary jobs with very very minimum and unstable income. My continuous question is: is the 2020 era still a correct time to educate kids with a very conservative mindset (unprepared to do any proper parenting, especially the father, ignoring psychology in favour of traditions), without money, without understanding of institutions and options, bureaucracy etc, and especially, without care for healthy communication and conflict-solving practices within the couple, without testing a long co-living before? Can we afford in the nowadays society, more broken kids and painful divorces with kids in between? I wish the mistakes of the boomer generation taught us something.
I am 30, European and have no kids yet, no hurry for me, I know of women who had some in their 40s and I think that if I'm not ready to provide at least (and more) the same I got myself in the 90s from my parents, then I'm not gonna give birth to a kid. At the moment I'm definitely not in the condition to make it a realistic option.
So even though my example is not universal, I would anyway suggest to take a more realistic approach before deciding to have a baby. Also, first of all, you need a long term partner who proves to be a good partner for you also through the problematic times, and who also wants a baby the same and will be a present and nurturing father, so it's not something you can do very soon unless you're extremely irresponsible.
I started to get the pressure only in the last 2 years, though. Nobody told me about kids or made me feel encouraged to, until I was 27.
Nonetheless, marriage doesn't mean instantly kids. You should firstly get a healthy and long lasting relationship with some years of co-living, and if he is the one, marriage will come. If marriage is still fine, kids will come naturally too, if both want them. Getting a marriage in function of getting a baby is a riskier approach, and is self centered. The baby is also the son of your partner, remember it...
Now you're biased just because you see some of your friends doing early steps in the life and you feel inferior. We don't know if they were really ready or not, maybe they weren't, but the fact they make these steps doesn't mean it was the right decision or the right time. You will know when is your right time, when also your trustable partner will know the same.
Still, you can gamble and get a baby out of an early relationship and it still could go well, with some chances. It could, statistically. But of course, it's gamble. And I don't think it's wise to gamble on kids.

[SkyeSymes]

I think you're still young and have done well for yourself! Most women now days are getting banged up at 16 and lower end up with a bad boyfriend/husband become depressed stuck and alone!

There is lots of time for you still im sure and not rushing into things will make it a lot easier for you in the long run take things slow and truly make sure you're with the right person and making the right decisions! I have 6 sisters and have watched the roundabout many times now, It's never ending cycles of guys and kids!

In the moment many of them felt happy and like the time was right, I have seen heartbreak, Cheaters and just lots of problems in my view. Having a child is a full time job for most it requires sacrifice of you're free time and a lot of commitment orless you got people there to have them when you want it that's if they're committed too do that now and again!

Im not saying don't have kids and progress you're life im just saying do it for the right reasons and not so much because you're clock is ticking or other people are doing it You are young enjoy life and make sure you plan for it all!

Good luck to you and hope all works out well for you!

[MzAsh]

No. That’s a scarcity mindset. You can’t be making these life decisions based on a fear of missing out. You’ll live to regret it.

[DanniOnnaNimbus]

I guess I do have a bit of a scarcity mindset.

[Paulalove98]

Yes but i dont let it get the best of me. Lots of women nowdays aren't having kids till late 20s or early 30s! Especially the movie stars or celebrities. My coworker is 31 and didn't have trouble getting pregnant. Id be happy to have a baby at 27-29 or 30-31! After 35 is when you have to worry.

[DizzyDesii]

I felt my biological clock ticking from age 25+. I've been seriously trying to have a kid since 21+ but i wouldve been okay at 18+ too.