If they asked for money twice or more in a relationship, isn't that a red flag?

[Anonymous]

Personally, I don't like asking for money. I find it awful to be asking for money.

I once had a boyfriend that asked me for money twice. The first time it was for $600. I obviously refused, said no and told him ''I'l let this one slide and pretend this conversation never happened. Ask me again and we're breaking up''.

He asked me again ($300) 4 months later and I proceeded with my words. I broke up. Seriously isn't that a red flag? Someone that wants a serious relationship that will progress would be working on themselves, be able to take care of themselves, not ask for money, much less large amounts.

Updates

+1 y

I think the only exception would be if he were my husband, we're really struggling and are providing for children. Ok then I'll help in what I can but for a boyfriend that I'm just dating? NOPE

[slatyb]

That's a huge red flag. It's totally inappropriate except for long-term couples who are sharing living expenses.

[Asker]

I updated the only time I find it an exception. He would have to be my husband whom I have kids with and if we're really struggling ok fine. Otherwise, nope. I find it a big deal if someone isn't able to take care of themselves.

[IAteTwoFullHams]

I think it's contextual. And depends on what kind of relationship you're looking for.

There are plenty of artists married to corporate people, and if that's how they're gonna live, well, might as well start early.

But if you're envisioning an equal financial partnership, then, sure, it doesn't match what you want in life, so it's a red flag.

[LazerBean]

Def a red flag if you aren't married.

[Asker]

Exactly. I find myself willing to help (provided it's a valid reason) if he were my husband but not for a boyfriend.

[Jamie05rhs]

You are 100% correct!
Good for you for following through with the ultimatum, too! 💪

[maximumpower]

I do not lend money - period.

[Asker]

Exactly. That's how it should be.

[maximumpower]

Yup!