Generally speaking, is it bad when a man asks his girlfriend for money more than once?

[Anonymous]

I learned the hard way. I'll never get my $1,300 back. He scammed me and used it for his dates and other things, cheating and lying the whole time. So much for being a giving person, thinking he needed it and would pay it back. He's my blocked ex boyfriend now.

I've never asked anyone for money. Generally speaking is it bad if a man ask his girlfriend for money? I'm not talking about $10 or $50 but $500 and above.

I don't give anyone my money anymore.

Yes, never ever give a man or anyone money

No, it's not always bad

[driven159]

Never give any boyfriend or girlfriend money it makes enemies out of them if they can't budget their money that should be a Red flag anyway

[Asker]

He became my permanent enemy eventually. He destroyed my innocence, my love, my giving nature and my trust.
Oh well... his ''You'll never find anyone better than me'' words turned against him. My 2nd boyfriend (a couple weeks after dumping the scumbag, I was back to dating again) happens to share my common interest of martial arts. We met in Judo classes. He's advanced and has been teaching me several techniques. I'm still learning and at the same time, it makes you emotionally stronger.

[driven159]

just take it slow and easy with new boyfriend so you don't get hurt

[TheSpaceGnome]

Congrats, you now understand why men hate gold diggers.

[Asker]

Yes indeed. He had an evil plan. He didn't care about my fertile years nor my needs towards forming a family. It would've taken years to have a successful business. By then I would not have been able to have kids anymore.
My mother never liked me but I refused to listen to her. She once told me ''If you ever marry him, be careful with your money and assets, he probably wishes us dead. Sign a prenup. I don't trust him''.
Wow... she was right. At some point he wanted me to find out about my father's living will and how much is my grandma's rents and property. Sick person.

Honestly, as a woman we often hear about men using women for sex and then eventually leaving but he went further than that. I was used for friendship, relationship, sex and money/wealth. That's evil.

[Asker]

In the end I was like a commodity to him, not even viewed as a human with feelings. I have never hated someone so much in life. I'll never forgive him... ever.

I felt worst that I was used for money and wealth (that everything was a lie) than for pleasure. It made me feel that he doesn't even like me as a person nor even found me too attractive, that I'm just an object and a machine for him.

[SteveSmith1985]

Yes it is bad. Definitely. I am sure there are some cases where it would be fine. But in general, yes, for sure it's bad.

[Asker]

yeah I learned the hard way why a broke man that asks for money is bad... he turned out to be a user, scamming other women, living off their money too, future faking (lying about having a future and wanting kids and marriage) and sucking our years.
I thought I was being a giving, kind person (that I was helping someone in need) but I was used.

[SteveSmith1985]

Holy shit that's awful!! I am so sorry that happened to you! That is an extreme example of a man asking his girlfriend for money. This man sounds like the very worst kind of person: someone looking to exploit the kind-heart of a trusting soul by emotionally manipulating them. That really is a special kind of unforgiveable.

And, I'm sorry did you say you were with this man for... years?

May I ask how long ago you "learned" what kind of guy he was?

(I just want to give you a big hug!) 🙂

[Asker]

Thank you. I found out who he really was last Oct. Yes I'll never forgive him. I've permanently blocked him on all my social medias.

[Screenwriter]

If your breakup is recent, OK be mad. But forgive him , eventually. There's something seriously wrong with someone who behaves in this manner. Someone taught him this was a way to "get over." He has no self esteem and respect. This is very sad and won't do him well. I bet he borrows from EVERYBODY. It's not just women. He owes everyone in town. People like him are charming and sexy and sweet talkers. "I'll get the next round, dude!" THen he leaves the bar before the next round happens. "I'll pay for lunch after payday." Payday comes and goes and no lunch from him. "I'll chip in for gas next time." No next time. Guys pick up on this shitty behavior more quickly because there's no romance involved. Remember the line, "No romance before finance." Make sure the men you pick have jobs and pay their bills. NEver move in with anyone without a job, don't date anyone who's not working, unless they're independently wealthy. But you said this guy was "broke." When you hear that, run the other way. Sounds like he's honest about his situation AT FIRST. Then he figures, you know the score and are up to support ihm in his brokeness. There are many women who do the same.

It's NEVER ACCEPTABLE in either sex.

[Screenwriter]

There are several factors that have to be in place: How long have you known this person? Do you know their family and friends? Is their borrowing from you a REGULAR thing.

"Hey, honey, you got a $20 on you, I need some gas? Why don't you pay for lunch this time? I'm a little short to pay my phone bill..."

An honest man has a job and pays his bills himself. If he needs to borrow BIG money, he gets a LOAN FROM THE CREDIT UNION, not from a girlfriend, and pays it back WITH INTEREST over time.

This guy sounds like a grifter who uses women. Glad you dumped him.

.

[Asker]

The only sad news is I now have limited time to have a child. He drained years out of me. I hate him. I've never hated someone so much in my life.

[Screenwriter]

Don't waste time hating him. Get back out there and be open to new people. You have years yet. Had my kid at 39. He's fine, except he's a goofball. Nothing to do with me. Just start saving money in earnest for college and all those incidentals, vacations, cost of pregnancy, childbirth. Be a squirrel. Just your nuts in a row. Feather your nest. Be ready.

You can't allow negativity to ruin your outlook and your life. Forget about him. Breathe deeply, meditate. Go to buddhist retreats. See a therapist. INVEST IN YOURSELF and heal yourself. Then you'll be ready to be a mom and a good one!

[Whatever2929292]

This really depends. But if someone is asking their girlfriend or boyfriend for that matter for money all the time that is not good. Especially if they aren't' paying you back.

If you offer him money that is one thing. But him asking all the time is another. Especially not paying it back. He is not entitled to your money.

Truthfully I think it is bad either way. I don't know why it would only be bad for a woman to give a man money but not bad if a man gives women money like this.

He could just be using you for money.

[Asker]

He did used me for money. I was a commodity to him the whole time.

[Asker]

He never paid my money back. Coward

[Whatever2929292]

Asker I am really sorry about that. Yea I don't know why some people do that. They take someone's kindness and just use them. That is what people like that do. He seen a good heart.

You deserve someone better because you have a heart of gold. If you just gave him money and told him he did not have to pay it back that is one thing.

But LOANING him money or if you ask for money form someone it is just common sense that you pay it back or at least try if they don't accept it then again that is one thing. But that is what you do.

I would only ask for money if I NEEDED to and I would pay them back the best I could

[Whatever2929292]

Sounds like a gold digger

[big_ben_007]

There's 2 types of people who ask for money. Person #1 can and will pay you back at the agreed day or time...

Person #2 can't pay you back, or won't, or has issues managing money. Those people u gotta avoid. If u need your money back from Person #2, you have a 90% chance of not getting it back.

Person #1 has a job or a source of income and they will pay you back on that date they said they would. Emergencies can happen. So if they don't pay up they'll communicate and let u know they need more time.

Lets say Peter wants a loan. Before i loan Peter anything i ask myself, how many of Peter's friends think he's good at managing money? Does he pay his friends back on time? Is he a businessman or does he make up a big ole story just to get what he wants and make it sound believeable?

A guy friend can be a scammer or in need of help. Ask questions.

[shaysh87]

Its not ok for a boyfriend / girlfriend to ask for money. Because you are not husband and wife. Your boyfriend / girlfriend has no obligation to support you in any way shape or form. Sometimes its understandable to ask your boyfriend / girlfriend for a few dollars. But when it happens often, it means you aren't dating someone who has their life together. Its important to marry someone who has their lives together.

Not someone who expects you to cook breakfast for them every time he wakes up, or the type of guy who drives to work and has no idea his car is out of gas, or the type of guy who asks his girlfriend for gas money twice a month, or the guy who runs out of underwear because he forgot to laundry this week. Once you have kids with someone like that, they will struggle even more. How are you supposed to raise kids with someone who can't even take care of themselves?

[EarthRealm]

😂 you must of been pretty Traumatized from him Convincing you it’s a good idea to give him all your money 💴
I gave a friend 50 bucks the other day ago he said he would pay me back and Still hasn’t and even Asked for another 50 then threatened to Kill me when I didn’t give him more money 💴 he told me how gangster he is and shit.
I will NEVER GIVE ANYBODY MONEY EVER AGAIN.
Just glad he’s moving away at the end of the month.
He isn’t going to Kill me but He’s got a gun and everything it’s all tactical it’s got a laser on it and it is a military handgun it has large bullets

[FreyaRed]

Yes. I warned my ex who was addicted to online gambling. I told him if you ask me for money I will dump you. Few months latter he asked and relationship that lasted over years was over.

[Asker]

You're smart. I wish I would've been wise earlier. I can't believe I fell for it.

[FreyaRed]

I fought against a part of myself as I left him, it wasn't easy. On the other hand there it's futile to remain with someone who doesn't respect your red lines

[BCRanger10]

The entire time we've been together, neither I nor my wife have had to ask the other for money, at least not significant amounts. Usually it's just for a tank of gas or something.

If someone is doing generally well financially but for a time has difficulty keeping up, I don't see a problem with a significant other helping them, so long as they pay them back. But if they're broke (as I saw in one of your other comments), that is a problem.

[Kaamraj]

You can do it if it's an emergency eg. your wallet gets stolen, or your card gets declines because of some technical issue. But as soon as you must return the money and then something more eg. if you took $17, return $20, round it off. Now before you call me a Simp or whatever, remember you must maintain leverage. The average woman has much more leverage than the average man, but one of the few things which you have is money (provisioning).

[spartan55]

'Bad'? More like stupid. I see this frequently on here that women are giving money to their shithead boyfriends... I have never asked an SO for a dime, nor have I ever had any friends who have. Those guys are scumbags.

[DivineZero]

Don't allow people to make you change things about yourself be giving but figure out why you are attracted to Takers? It isn't a bad thing although society deems it bad because then a man isn't perfect lol. One day you will meet the love of your life and he will absolutely adore you for that side of you and who you are. There's nothing wrong with being good and doing good things even if it physically doesn't have a reward that doesn't mean there isn't anything that was recieved from it. 😋

[Asker]

Actually I was already back into dating a couple weeks later; just like my psychologist calculated. She said I'll meet someone else quicker and it happened. I'm now 6 months into my current relationship. The good part is we have a common interest: martial arts. He has more experience on it and teaches me techniques.

[DivineZero]

Good for you girl! 😁 so proud of you.😌

[Table4YTwo]

it's dependent on how much and how frequent.

if its 30-60$ every once in a while thats fine, that could be just for food, a game, gas, just money he might of needed at the time.

If its a weekly thing then you have someone treating you like an ATM

[DS_Madking]

in my opinion it depends on the situation what means
1st what is he planning to use it for
2nd how serious is this relationship
3rd how much is it
for example if he wants 60 buck for a game and the relationship is even why not (by even i mean 1st how does he treat u 2nd how much does he gift u) or if its for food the same but if he asks for 150 bucks for no particular reason hell no never

[Adam1978]

Never ever lend a money to your partner ever. If it's not something you are willing to gift, say no. So you paying for ice-cream one day isn't a deal breaker even if you are a woman.

[ErinEGoodKarma]

Yess!!! Unless it for an absolute transparent & clearly legit cause/reason or (eg., like covering deductible for a must imperative surgery or something)…. & nearly or are married maybe…. But Repeated request with isn’t good thing esp. with detailed plan to repay!!! Lender Beware !!

[Honesttguy]

Put limit to not give out more than 50$ and ehen they ask say i dont lend more than 50 thats my limit.

[Asker]

As a result of this terrible experience (that was my first relationship too), I don't ever lend money to anyone ever again. The only exception is my mother and grandma whenever they need it; no one else.

[abc3643]

If it's in short order, probably, yes.

If he has a crisis and needs money, that's one thing.
If this is a recurring thing, then he doesn't know how to handle money and thus should be dumped.

[Sparkie460]

If maybe his car broke down and he was short to pay for it you could go with him to pay it off. If he just out of the blue asked for a few hundred then you can say no. It's one thing to be nice but you're not a bank and money doesn't grow on trees.

[Asker]

He fooled me into saying that money was for our future to have kids and that he was broke, needed some, will pay it back, etc. I can't believe I fell for that romance scam.
I learned the hard way that he was a truly disgusting person. One of his ex girlfriend called me once (she found my information on fb and contacted me) and said she paid for both the rent and his cell phone. She's apparently been living off women's money. A total user that doesn't just goes after sex and leave but continues faking relationships and gets money.

[Sparkie460]

Yeah that is a bad reason to ask for money. If he said he was broke you should have dumped him then. He'll get his karma

[Asker]

True. All those years he made me waste... I would've been with someone else and probably already with 2 kids by now. Oh well. Little did I knew that after I dumped him... weeks later, I met by now 2nd boyfriend. He's different. Unlike my ex boyfriend, my current boyfriend hasn't asked me for money. He actually wants me to save my money and if it's my turn to invite to eat (we take turns), he always looks for a cheap restaurant. I'm helping him save money too and he does the same.

[Sparkie460]

How long were you with that other guy

[Asker]

I dumped my ex boyfriend Oct last year. A couple weeks later (on that very same month), I met someone else. We became official since Dec 27. We've been dating for 6 months now.

[Sparkie460]

I always felt uncomfortable having the woman pay for food when we went out. I feel like it's the man's place to pay all the time

[Asker]

Judging by your age, I think times were different backthen. There was a time we weren't working (or limited) so it made sense.
He was initially paying all the time during the first 3 months and then I started helping out some days.

[Sparkie460]

Times were different back then. Men treated women with respect, the way they should be treated. Guys paid for everything regardless if the woman worked on not.

It sounds like you got a good man now.

[Freyke]

I am okay with a 10 or 50 but I am sorry, 500? As long as we are not husband and wife, I won't give you an amount that crazy ever. And if we are married you probably won't ask for it either.

[Asker]

Yeah I've never ever asked someone for money. I was taught by my parents to work to earn money. It's sad that he was a user the whole time. He used me for both pleasure and money. That's the type of guy that fakes an entire relationship too.

[Freyke]

Yeah. I have had the luck or unluck to meet toxic partners early on so it's so I see through the lies more easily.

Never forget these lessons. They're painful but sometimes it's the only way for us to see it.

[YvonneTIreland]

I got caught badly in my past relationship so I am very slow to give anymore than €100 at a time. Once what is borrowed is given back, I don’t mind helping out in another few months but definitely wouldn’t make a habit of it.