Why did God made me fall in love with a loser?

[Anonymous]

This guy is homeless, with several criminal records, is older than me (I'm 38, he 47), but he's hella awesome in bed. Used to smoke weed. He said he is going to quit smoking for not only me but our future kid (s). He doesn't have a job for some reason can't hold one! He has an ex wife that is now remarried with a baby with someone else now.

Please help. It's stressing me out unnecessarily. Serious and kind advices only please. I want to be able to get everything I want in this life before my time comes! I only have one life. I have to care for myself! But he has my heart =(. No one else has been so DEDICATED and loyal to me! No one else fits sexually like he does with mine and is good with cuddles and hugs!!

Updates

+1 y

We've known each other since 2015 at 32 and 40.

Updates

+1 y

Make

[IAteTwoFullHams]

Well, probably because the thing that's most important to you is dedication.

Successful men tend to be dedicated to many things - their careers, their integrity, their reputation, their creative projects, etc. Not just to their girlfriend.

Whereas failures will sometimes see their girlfriend as their only lifeline, the only thing even keeping them alive, and put all their time and energy into her.

And I bet that's what you're responding to.

[Asker]

What's wrong with valuing someone that's dedicated? And he wasn't always this way. It was our love that got him hooked! :-)

[IAteTwoFullHams]

I won't weigh in on right and wrong, but when you value dedication more than anything else, this is what you get. Someone who's single-mindedly focused on you because there's nothing else in their life and they don't have anything else to live for.

[Asker]

Gosh, you sound like loving me, being married to me, being the father of my children, would be a waste of time :-(

[Wubs3000]

Wdym its stressing you out. If you don't like that he's homeless move on don't play with him. You fell in love not god and it's with that man who (from what I gather) you have been in a ltr with. If you want to get everything in life, go out and do it yourself.

[Asker]

Yeah but it would be easier with a capable, supportive and loving partner (even in a financial sense) don't you think? Hmm.. thank you though. This was helpful.

[KatherineJ]

Girl, I hope you hold off on any wedding plans, and definitely hold off on having children until he gets his life turned around. I’m not going to judge him, and I’m not going to judge you. But it would be very irresponsible for you to marry someone who can’t take care of himself, like an adult.

[silvermoon84]

I’m not sure you can really help who you fall in love with but I can tell you that you need to walk away from this loser. You deserve someone better. Hell even just staying single is an upgrade from that crap.

[Asker]

Thank you. He broke up with me two days ago. Maybe he realized it then.

[Emilyis]

He isn't the looser. YOU are. You are the one keeping him because he's good in bed. Just get rid of him or you will be a looser for ever.

[Asker]

Woah harsh much? ? ! Have you NEVER fallen for someone that wasn't good for you? ! Damn. I get your point and thank you for your advice but still, you didn't need to be that harsh just saying.

[Emilyis]

I totally understand why you don't like my answer, but I told you the truth. What if NO one told you what I said. Where would you be?

[FictionalCharacter]

Just go with the flow and enjoy the ride in life. No one is perfect but we make the best we can.

[Asker]

If people thought like that, I don't think they'd be any closer to accomplishing their dreams.

[Asker]

Their life would, in a way, be meaningless. However, I do get what you mean, for the most part.

[Wade12345]

Sounds like you two do a lot of fornicating God didn't make you a fornicator, you did that to yourself.

[Asker]

Yeah, I didn't really believe in god but my boyfriend said he did but yeah I get it, actions speak louder than words. I was young and lustful back then. I'm human. Thanks for the criticism.

[Wade12345]

No problem. I'm the least apologetic apologist you'll ever meet.

In all seriousness, I don't know what to tell you. I'm medically disabled myself, so I'm not exactly a good candidate for dating/marriage relationships, unless I could find a Bread Winning Wife somehow.

I got no clue what advice to offer you other than lay off the premarital stuff. You ought to know by now it's statistically shown to be non-beneficial and even harmful to the wellbeing of your long-term relationship.

Anyway, if you can afford to financially support your clueless boyfriend, then by all means, continue.

[FunkyMonkee]

That was you that did that. There's no such thing as god. All ya gotta do is either walk or kick him out!!

[Asker]

Well hmm ok. But if he did exist, he could have/should have provided me with a more responsible and compatible life partner (potential life partner).

[FunkyMonkee]

But, if he did exist, you'd have free will and that'd put it right back onto you. Besides, from my past experiences with women, they are WELL KNOWN for having shit taste in men!! If given the choice of having Mr. Perfect and a raging asshole, they'll go after the raging asshole almost every time!!

[Asker]

Well he didn't exactly make the choice easy for me. Free will or not. My choices were well...

Don't be bitter with women. You sound like it. There's still a lot of sensible women out there that are looking for a good man. Me included.

[FunkyMonkee]

I've been looking for a good woman all my life!! So far, out of the 3 that I ended up with, they turned into monsters!! If there's good women out there, they must all be hiding under rocks!!
The guy you got stuck with was your choice. Okay, I chose the ones I got stuck with, too but they were all surprises!! Sally started cheating on me after just 4 months! Carol had a nervous breakdown a day or so before we got started together and, by the time she got over it, she went back to her previous boyfriend who gave her the breakdowns!! She had at least 7 more because of him! The last one, I devoted 10 years of my life to!! As far as I knew, she was the one! Everyone loved her and thought we'd end up married!! I even had offers from other women, including Carol and Sally, after we started seeing each other but, I stayed LOYAL to her!! Then, just past our 10th anniversary together, I find out she'd been cheating on me for at least the past half a year!! I suspect it was a lot longer than that but I didn't catch her at it. What hurts even worse is that she dropped him like a hot brick only one year later!!! I've been alone ever since...21 years this Nov.. Anyone I try for is either spoken for, an asshole, or isn't interested in me because there's some asshole over there that she'd much rather be with... until he hurts her, THEM she comes to me to help her get through her torment! Days later, she's either back with him again or hooked up with another asshole!!

[Asker]

Well sorry for your plight but yeah maybe it's just luck? My past experience has made me not really want to try anymore either.

[FunkyMonkee]

Thanks! I just remembered another married chick that was heavily into me!

[Asker]

Don't do that please. Have more morals and be less selfish. No offense, but maybe that's also why you're not having the best "luck" with dating/finding someone special. It's because you bark up the wrong trees! A married woman? ? ! Do you really want to invite that kind of trouble in your life? ! This guy I am talking about in my question just broke up with me two days ago. My parents are telling me to think about it as a blessing in disguise. ... I guess he didn't really love me enough to change and better his situation like I thought! You know, I loved him THAT much that I would have been by his side on his DEATH BED! ... But he didn't even appreciate or want that and that's the sad part. I cared about him THAT much! Who could he say would do the same for him? ? ! His ex-wife? ! Lol yeah right, she left him as soon as she had baby #1! ... Maybe he WAS abusive, but then why even get marry and have a child with someone that's abusive. Makes no sense!

[FunkyMonkee]

Don't do what, be attractive to married chicks? It's not like I can help it. THEY chase ME!!
Sally told me her hubby beats her up and she's gonna get a divorce so, I figured that makes her fair game.
Carol JUST got married a month before our fling and he dumped her after only being married one month because he didn't like to see her associating with people he thought were harmful to her (She wanted to go on a kind of field trip with people from a psych ward she'd recently been in for her 2nd nervous breakdown. He had this goofy idea that her doing anything with those people was like saying it was okay for her to have her breakdowns. She REPEATEDLY told him that she was ONLY going to use them as transport to and from the amusement park they were going to and, once she got TO the park, she would have nothing more to do with them until it was time to leave.) So, he left her!! She never DID go on that field trip!. She & I took a walk a few days later and, somehow, she broke her foot so, being her best friend, I stayed with her to help her out until the cast came off because she was afraid of using crutches. By the third week, we were romantically and sexually involved! What I didn't know was that she was already on the verge of her third breakdown because she hadn't been taking her pills the previous 4 or 5 weeks! Less than a week later, she was back in the hospital! When she got out 6 months later, she went back to him.
Anu was married to a guy that, later, got a sex change. In her eyes, that meant they were no longer married, even after he reverted. Legally, they still were married `til the day he died a few years ago but she only saw it that way when it was convenient, like, if some guy was interested in her that she didn't want hanging around. Then she would tell him that her husband wouldn't like him doing that.

[FunkyMonkee]

She mentioned her hubby to me several times before we became lovers and that was good enough for me! I had no intention of breaking them up! She was just someone that was VERY interested in learning what I could teach her about music! One of those evenings I went to her place to tell her about music, she started getting romantic with me and, when I asked about her hubby, she told me that they're not really married anymore because he got a sex change. We were together for 10 years before I discovered she'd been cheating on me!!
Hope lives in Bulgaria and I seriously doubt I'll ever get to actually see her in person but, she had a VERY abusive husband and always slept on the couch to stay away from him. One day, she had an abscessed tooth and he refused to let her go see a dentist about it so, she got a piece of wire and popped it herself! She told me about the times he punched her and abused her just in the 2 months that we were talking online and the dozens of other times he'd done so before then. She WANTED to come over here to be with me but, neither of us could afford it. Again, I had no intention of stealing her from him, SHE chose ME!! One day, I was under the impression I might be having a heart attack so, before I went to the hospital, I told her and two other close friends what was going on and told them, "goodbye", in case I died before I got back home. It turned out to be nothing more than a skeletal thing so, when I got home the net day, I found her emails professing her great love for me!!

[Asker]

That's nice to hear man =). I hope it works out between you both.

And yeah, that's true. It does take two to tango. Yup yup! =)

[FunkyMonkee]

Thanks! I wish it would! I haven't heard from her in almost 10 years, now. She left hubby and got scared of him finding her, or something like that, and stopped talking to me, too. I wrote her a few months later but she said, although she still loves me, I should just find someone here. There IS no one here!! :-(

[Adronicus]

Imprinting during upbringing has much to do with why women are attracted to the types they are.

[Asker]

He's the only homeless man I had ever been with. None of the guys I had been with in the past had any similar patterns whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

I imagine you'll eventually get bored supporting him and buy a vibrator instead.
I would not expect at that age, he'll change.
If you're going to have kids, you are going to support them. And maybe then you'll reflect on your decisions.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

He wouldn’t ever bring two people together who aren’t right for each other. Stop blaming him for all the bad, Holy Fish Paste

[Asker]

Then did he have a sick sense of humor or something? Please.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

The devil yes

[Asker]

Then why isn't "God" protecting me from him if he loved/loves me? ? !

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Do you let him? Do you believe he can?

[EaterPeter]

You decide first if he us looser or weiner 😉

[Anonymous]

🤣🤣🤣

[Asker]

Grow up please.

[Opinion Owner]

🤣🤣🤣 you're the one who can't own up to your bad choices. Maybe take your own advice hun.

[Asker]

So it was a bad mistake to love someone deeply (unconditionally) and give them a real chance? Wow. I didn't know that it was a crime!

But you have a point. There does come a time where one has to realize what they're doing to themselves. I get what you're saying but you didn't have to be an asshole about it.

[Opinion Owner]

It was a mistake not to use your head. But you're used to that. I don't really care you're perfectly within your right to make as many mistakes as you like. But own them! "Why did God make me fall in love with a loser". God did make you do anything. You chose to turn you brain off. No I don't have to be an a**hole about it. But you could also own your bad choices rather than just expect others to feel sorry for you.

[Asker]

I don't expect people to feel sorry for me. In fact I don't WANT that if I could help it.

And yeah I guess you ARE proud of insulting strangers online.

Thanks Mr. Perfect who has NEVER made an emotional or sexual decision in his life!

[Opinion Owner]

No. I make mistakes. I just own them. I don't whine to others hoping the feel bad for me because I made a mistake. Then I learn from them and try not to make the same mistake again. You should try it! It'll change your life... literally!