Why guys from my generation don't appreciate woman their own age 28-30 ?

[Alwayreckles93]

One of my ex sister in law she is 30 but people always tell her she looks 19 and looks good for her age she can even be a model if she wanted to. But sadly her husband age 28 wants to divorce her a few months ago we found out he cheated on my friend with a 22 year old Jezebel. She is a good wife she cleans , cooks for him comes from a good family. Why would he do this cheat on her with a younger trash. Younger woman ages18-24 don't have self respect they dress all slutty. I don't get it, He excuse is that he was forced to married her because his last girlfriend my laws claim she wasn't a virgin and that out of revenge my ex brother in law would make a living hell my ex sister in law. Guys my generation have good wife's why would they want younger woman? I'm noticing men my own age are getting divorce just to get with younger woman, Why?

[DaveJord]

This is the unexpected back lash to women's liberation on the social construct of marriage. As women are more liberated so do men feel more so.

I had a wife of 24 years, and she cooked, cleaned and cared for the children. She even worked for 12 out of the 24 years. But when she worked she kept her money in separate account and I paid for everything... and she still acted untitled to more and insisted she invest more in the house hold than I did. In moments of temper I had to point out that if she thinks doing laundry, cooking and cleaning means that I would go hungry, wear dirty cloths or live in pig sty without her she's fooling her self.

Form the outside in you have no idea what that marriage is really like for them. If you think being beautiful on the outside is all that matters then you're mistaken. Men need to feel appreciated and given gratitude. Nobody preach about mean rights, and women feel more empowered then ever to impose themselves or look for injustice with any marriage. But with comes consequences and this just one of many consequences. Men no longer feel as limited in their choices, because there is no real consequence to infidelity in divorce law. My ex-wife cheated on me serval times with less attractive people then me, and she still got 50% of everything in the divorce. I am not saying don't support your sister, but honestly the marriage failed in some way and she needs to take some degree of responsibility for that.

Marriage is a social construct, that serves more these days to keep people trapped in unproductive and toxic relationships. Marriage itself is not a legitimate contract, the other person does not have to life up to any of the promises made, and still get half of everything even when they are very self destructive types of people. Divorce laws serve to keep people in these types of marriages, because its too costly and burdensome to end it, when in all honestly its over.

I am not anti marriage, but if you haven't ever been married to the worst type of person, then you can't relate to why people do the things they do in marriage. And if you are happily married the love and cherish that person every day of your life together, never take anything they do for you for granted.

[Alwayreckles93]

You are right Sir. I was referring to men my generation. Men your age act more mature and understand more responsible because parents didndisaplain their kids way back when you were a kid. Now something happens and guys my age go on calling mommy and tell mommy everything. In my ex sister in laws and ex brother in laws case it was kinda arranged marriage they're Mormon it is common in LDS Mormon for parents to pick the girl for the son. In this case my ex brother in law was in loved with someone else. I am way past 21 I'm a lot more older divorce. It's way to personal to post on here but if you like I can message you about it.

[DaveJord]

No not necessary... the main point in which I feel you already understand it that concept of marriage these days has changed drastically in my life time. Marriage comes at great sacrifice and young people these day either completely understand that and do not seek it, or they fail to realize the full and real consequences of what it takes to make and keep a good marriage. So I don't know if that is better or worse... but live and marriage is not for ever.

In past it was easy it pretty clear what a good man and good women were supposed to do, but in todays world everyone has this believe and people and media peddling these ideas that you should and can expect more and never settle for less. But all very relative as to what one things is less and more.

[Alwayreckles93]

I'm sorry not offence but your ex wife was a useless whore. See my point stay away from younger woman.

[Alwayreckles93]

You didn't have to put up with her lazy ass. A clean house is very important mor ethen anything and fresh cook meals. Did you forced you to eat McDonald's? Why it's wasn't fair for you. She had no reason to take 50% of your hard work. I hate your ex wife already and I don't even know her. See she has a good loving husband and she didn't appreciate you because from what I see you were a good husband. You didn't neglected her.

[DaveJord]

More or less, she had mental health issues. I got married at 20 years old, because I got her pregnant, and wanted to do the right thing. At 20 I thought I was totally in love with her and maybe I was, but the ignorance of youth.

We always lived in nice homes, owned four properties when we divorce. I made well over 100K a year, would work late, travel a lot and she never understood the stress of a high pressure job. She was bit ODC about things. Like she would not let me do the Landry, because I didn't fold it right, or clean because I never clean right... when I cooked she would eat something different because she would say I had bad hygiene, which is 100% false. ODC that developed into straight out paranoia by her late 30s.

Over time her behaviors slowly became more and more erratic and self destructive... but there was good times and we did a lot of funs things. I a lot of ways its my fault... I turned a blind eye to it because I thought I could manage the situation. But the thing with these types they condition you to accept the emotional abuse even when you know they are doing it. So I enabled her condition and she became too much... or more like I quit trying as much and she became more and more paranoid and insecure. I never cheated though but I easily could of, in retrospect I wish I had maybe if I had allowed myself to fall in love with a different person I would of left soon? I never will know, but in the end it was because of the kids... I would never hurt my kids that way. Not that it did them much good in the end. She brainwashed them any way.

I do not hate my ex-wife, hate is to much of a burden to carry around in you heart. It takes a lot of effort and you have to really care enough to do that... truth is I don't care at all and I pity or more than anything. But I don't hate her.

[Alwayreckles93]

Not making excuses for her behavior but do you believe at some point maybe she had postpartum depression? Or perhaps she need your attention or feel love? She could at least say thank you see exactly you were raised right someone else could have walk away.

[DaveJord]

Definitely had or has something going on... and no I do not think it was a result of my not supporting or love her enough. She had some very deep rooted issue that here ingrained in her from her mother, and as a young man I did not respect that enough when I initially got involved with her. I was ignorant to the mental health issues and assumed she would work her way out of it. Instead she made me her emotional care taker and I took it on because I am strong person and I thought I was helping her... but truth is I was enabling and propitiating the behavior. I was being manipulated, and used... and I knew it but thought that I was strong enough to and capable enough to deal with it.

An emotional caretaker is someone who looks out for the feelings, needs, and wants of an emotional manipulator. The caretaker defers to the manipulator’s wants, giving up their own wants and even their own health and well-being needs. They give in to “keep the peace” and to please the other person—all with no improvement in the relationship.

www.psychologytoday.com/.../when-relationships-are-based-manipulation

[Alwayreckles93]

I my gosh I didn't know that behavior existed. I mean sounds pretty narcissist in my opinion. I am ignorant when it comes to mental health. I am sorry you had to deal with her. My ex husband got involved in scamway Amway I converted to Mormonism for him to make him happy I didn't really believe in the religion. I had a got feeling that Amway wasn't right but my ex turn out to cheat on me with his upline. This Amway people brainwash. I am a very frugal person I wanted us to save money he didn't have control over his assistive spending I was pregnant with my youngest son when I cought both of them in the scene in our bedroom. Yeah not a good feeling. Whatever you do never date a woman that's involve in multi-level marketing it destroyed families. It destroyed mine. Sure you do have a point I was neglect by my ex-husband in a loveless marriage I never cheated on my ex husband.

[DaveJord]

Yeah we all do things for good reasons, but sometimes we hurt ourselves. And yes Amway is a scam. Its all about manipulating people into buying and selling your products for you.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. It is a mistake to be too judgmental about someone else's marriage because we rarely know both sides of all the important issues and conflicts that arose.

2. People cheat because they don't take their promises seriously.

3. People sometimes cheat with younger partners but sometimes with older partners. Sometimes with partners who are far less attractive than their spouse. I think cheating is about the thrill and excitement of doing something forbidden.

[Alwayreckles93]

Yes Sir you are absolutely. I enjoy your knowledge and advice. Yes you do have a point about marriage and how people don't take marriage seriously.

[Apple1996]

Not sure why but it's super creepy when these 30 year old men go after 18 year old girls like date someone your own age. I think a lot of it has to do with these guys having shit personalities and they suck in bed so they have to go after younger naive girls who don't know any better.

And I don't even wanna hear about how younger girls have better fertility. If that's the case then these guys should have got with a 18 year old when they were also 18 and had childern.

[Alwayreckles93]

Exactly I was thinking the same thing why not start a family at 18. Yes exactly men need to date according to they're age catagory. It's ridiculous where this 30 year old get tos information that's ridiculous. Yes I one 💯 agree with you it is way to creepy when 30 year olds chase after 18 year old woman. it's disgraceful.

[Apple1996]

Yeah also I don't hate on any couples with a age gap if they are really in love but seems that is pretty rare. I'm just saying it's creepy to seek out a age gap when they could seek in their own age range. It's a red flag if they can't win over a woman their own age.

[RealMarek]

So, it sounds like there was some drama surrounding your ex-SIL’s marriage in the first place, but let’s set that aside. The issue is that divorce is easily obtained today. Combine that with typical male and female behavior when it comes to attraction: men tend to value indicators of fertility which are strongest in a woman’s early 20s, and women tend to value status and achievement. Many men who marry in their early 20s are not in their early 20s are not in their prime and might find they have more options as they approach 30. That said, about 80% of divorces are filed by women, not men. In general, as belief in monogamy and commitment decreases, as economic difficulty for young men increases, you will invariably see a reversion to the historical norm of older men coupling with younger women. I’m not saying it is right, but it is what we’ve signed up for with a lot of social changes that were intentionally made.

[Alwayreckles93]

Times have changed like crazy. Dating is hard especially for a Christian woman like myself. I attend to be traditional and guys from my age group at least don't care about these qualities in woman.

[RealMarek]

It is a difficult time. That said, there are men who look for traditionally-minded women. You probably need to branch out beyond a single congregation or church to find a match. Perhaps a Christian online dating site, or ask people who might know single men around your age who could be potential matches.

[SiberFox]

Where are you from for an arranged marriage to be normal? Also the fact that it was arranged most likely led to this outcome, that and the fact that the husband has no sense of duty.

[Alwayreckles93]

My in laws are Mormon.

[Anonymous]

You have already answered your question in your description. Young women are trashy and slutty. Older women are more nurturing and looking for stability with well-established guys. Now young men don't have many choices like older successful men. A lot of guys don't get that many dates like young women and they try to compensate it, later. Those younger men and women grow up and repeat the same, it's just a circle of misery.

[Hardworkingguy]

I had no idea that men usually prefer younger women. Women are attractive regardless of the age I think it's the only way around older women usually have much better bodies and they have a much more passionate and loving attitude.

[Alwayreckles93]

You might happen to be an old soul has anyone ever told you that your an old soul?

[Hardworkingguy]

Well you're the first. I have been with women older than 38 And I loved it. I bet you're Very passionate and ready to let go abd enjoy everything. You're more confident about yourself as well. Not to mention mature women enjoy a well endowed man more which is a plus for me

[Exterminatore]

People in all generations don’t take marriage very seriously now.

[Alwayreckles93]

Especially my generation , I am referring to men my own age only care about young woman they don't care if the woman if good to them if she cares to cook for him a fresh meal. Sir it's not lien when it used to be at the time when you were 20, back then woman had self respect they dressed modestly they never cheated unlike now a days 20 years olds are all Jezabels and not sure why 30 year old men see in a 20 year old woman.

[Exterminatore]

It doesn’t surprise me. There are many males in your generation, and mine for that matter, but few men.

[GlassTop]

What exactly does your ex sister in law do? People cheat because they can get away with it.

[Anonymous]

We have money status and we can get the 19-24 years.


Why would we date a post wall or near wall woman?

She should sealed that deal at 21

[Anonymous]

For the same reason women don’t appreciate men until they hit the wall at 30

[Alwayreckles93]

What is wrong about a woman being 30 years old?

[Opinion Owner]

Women start to melt at 30
it’s when most start to lose their ability to live life based on their looks and get shit easily from men.
Once they start to lose their looks (compared to a younger female) then they become magically more accepting of the men they used to treat like shit or ignore.

[Alwayreckles93]

Oh so you prefer a younger woman rather a 30 year old? But a 30 year old owns a home established career that pays well. why would you want a younger woman that owns nothing and it's probably a gold digger?

[Opinion Owner]

As a man, a females “accomplishments” are not important.
Women judge a man on those things but we don’t generally need a female to have those things.

[Wise4myage]

Personal preferences I guess.

[Alwayreckles93]

Well I have met guys your age that act way more mature then 30 year olds.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

We do. Of course we do.

[loveslongnails]

I do.