When to trust change?

[Needtoknow318]

Yikes where to begin!! My boyfriend and I broke up, though it started as just a break with me moving out…there were a few things going on that I felt justified my leaving.

At first it was “okay”, both hurting but accepting the situation. Then came the pleads for me back, a long letter too. Confessing his love and now suddenly his desire to marry and have kids (which for the entire two years previous he was VERY against any of that).

But then there came the very angry texts, and I mean vicious. And that essentially made me say “f it” to giving it another shot (because we had an agreement of sorts that we would revisit “us” after we had taken time to fix things in our own lives—kind of like right person wrong time).

And then I had to see him again. And he decided to tell me that 5 days before I “walked out on him” he was ready to make a trip to ask my father and then to propose. And I am unfortunately having to stay in the same place as him. And he wants to try and rebuild slowly what we had, but I am torn…it feels wrong but also right? And he has made some changes that I said needed to happen, but it hasn’t even been a month.
And now I am also struggling with wondering “how can I trust this when I’m only hearing it after I left?”

any advice would be much appreciated

[StrongMale]

Obviously, I don’t know your boyfriend. But, based on your telling of his behavior, I would be verrrrry careful about getting involved with him again. His sudden reversal about marriage and children, and his, as you referred to them, ‘vicious’, ‘angry’ messages are both methods of manipulation. That alone may not make him a bad guy, but it sure raises red flags for me. If you do decide to give him a second chance, you need to be very clear with him where you stand, and set your boundaries and be very firm about them.. Take things verrrrry slow, and the moment you feel uneasy or wary of things, listen to your woman’s intuition and end it. Ultimately, you want a man who treats you like a queen, and wants the same things you want, right from the start. You don’t want to invest your heart in a guy who you have to coerce into wanting what you want. Hope this helps!

[Stevefiveo]

The angry texts are a huge red flag. Run away. This will never stop. The marriage and wants children talk is only because he wants to control you.

[Monica1984_]

Don’t he just trying to manipulate you doing something you don’t wanna do.

[Needtoknow318]

Even if he willingly talked to my father again? 🥺

I still love him…even if I did feel emotionally manipulated before breaking up. But I did feel like a huge weight was lifted from me when we were separated.

Now I feel like he’s trying to control me again I don't know what to do

[Monica1984_]

Get out now before someone ends up in prison or forensic files.