Why can a woman leave dirty dishes in the sink but we guys get yelled at when we do it?

[AviatorTom]

My SO often leaves her breakfast dishes in the sink for most of the day, but if I leave my dish or glass there for 15 minutes, she tells at me. We have and use a dishwasher so there's really no reason to leave dishes in the sink other than to soak them before putting them in the dishwasher.

Guys, does that happen to you?

Girls, why is it ok for you but not for guys?

[JustAnj]

I don't think it's right that she yells at you for doing this especially if you are the person who rinses the dishes then puts it in to wash.

I can only think of one reason why this might upset her.

The dishes get in the way when she needs to use the sink and she expects you to clear the sink when there is dirty dishes in the sink.

Essentially you do it it's your duty around the house.

So when it's not done she gets upset, especially if the dishes are in her way of doing something else like cooking, cleaning, or rinsing food.

I'm totally guessing.

You could ask her " I feel like I am not understanding you and I am really confused, why does it bother you when there is dirty dishes in the sink?"

If she doesn't tell you and just gets upset again.

Tell her "I understand your upset, I just want to understand you, if you don't want to talk about this right now I understand and I won't push the subject."

It could be she is internalizing what she does not like about her own actions of placing dishes in the sink and not attending to it.

[Amy10223]

See, I would have soaked those dishes to prevent any hard food residue. I leave my dishes in the sink all day (very few) and do them in the evening. Unless I have tons of them from cooking something special--I leave them in there. No harm done. I have left 3 or 4 dishes of cups in there before--it doesn't matter but I sent have a SO to complain about it either!

[D_Bone_Steak]

The first question I have is who ends up washing those dishes?

I do the dishes and I'd bitch my wife out if she left some shit in the sink without even rinsing them. Nothing I hate more than dried stuck on food. Now when I do it, I'm simply doing it to myself and it's just a thing I have to do like wiping my own ass after a shit. You have to admit being forced to wipe someone else's ass after they shit isn't cool.

So back to my first question... If you wash the dishes, I agree with you. If she's the one washing the dishes, STFU and wash your own damn dishes.

[AviatorTom]

We use the dishwasher. Both of us put dishes in the dishwasher. My SO likes to have dirty dishes soaked before going into the dishwasher, so I usually put my dishes in to soak for a while... but they're there longer thank she likes, which is when she yells at me. It's not all the time. Some dishes we wash by hand (in particular some mugs that aren't dishwasher safe) and both of us do that, although to listen to her, she's the only one that ever does that.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Yeah letting them soak is needed when using the dishwasher. They basically should be clean before going in there and the dishwasher is like the disinfecting part of the process. I just hand wash with bleach water and use soap for grease. My dishwasher is nothing more than a place to put clean dishes so they can dry now.

That's the thing about having to share any kind of space with someone, everybody does things differently and if you want it done right you have to do it yourself. The process of getting two different people to blend their ways or habits into a way that works for everyone is a pain in the ass and can get frustrating.

I took the route of just doing it myself... because my wife's dumb ass will throw dishes in the dishwasher that the dishwasher will obviously not clean with heated dry on so that you'll get plates with dried food on it that requires a scraper to get off. I don't want to eat off a plate that has yesterday's dinner cooked on the plate, so I just wash everything on the spot. My wife's laziness and getting tired of getting bitched at has her buying paper plates and bowls... even plastic spoons and forks. I wash what I cook the food with, she buys her bullshit... and thus we found our happy ways to deal with each other's bullshit.

[OlderAndWiser]

It's because women are always right. If you don't understand that, perhaps you have not had enough lessons from a "husband convincer":

This is a husband convincer!

[AssholeNumberOne]

This is a joke, right?

[OlderAndWiser]

@AssholeNumberOne OF COURSE it's a joke!

[AssholeNumberOne]

Whew. Had me worried 😅

[AviatorTom]

@AssholeNumberOne Yes, it's a joke, but there's some truth to it. Many women I've known believe that they are always right, and when they know they are wrong, they have problems dealing with it, and usually try to blame someone else (most often a guy).

[AssholeNumberOne]

Grr...

[AssholeNumberOne]

Dat's what you call toxic femininity. Lol

[OlderAndWiser]

Isn't that why many people get married? So they'll always have someone else to blame for whatever happens? :) :) :)

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[WindAtMyBack]

Dude, if you get yelled at for leaving dishes in the sink, leave them on the counter instead. That's what I do and I have never been yelled at for leaving dishes in the sink.

If she yells at you for leaving them on the counter, remind her that she didn't want them left in the sink, and to make up her mind.

This is a surefire strategy for a long and healthy marriage.

[purplepoppy]

Because we put them there to soak. Guys put them there to play dishes jenga

[Anonymous]

Women are funny. My sister makes her husband wash the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. He said almost on cue "the dishwasher is for sanitizing not washing right honey". And she smiled and said "that's right". I wasn't going start an argument. Least of all between them. But I so wanted to say, "Yeah that's why it's called a sanitizer and not a dishwasher".🙃 Hey if they're happy that's all that matters I guess.

[2Wheels]

I've never gotten on my SO's case about anything. That's what he would do. 😂
I don't understand why she would get on your case. Especially if she does it herself.

[LazerBean]

We both leave dishes lying around and that's fine. I just clean it up the next day after he leaves for work.

[AssholeNumberOne]

Because some girls are so stupid they think they can get away with whatever they want cuz they're girls. It's disgusting.

[JSmuve]

Because she's a hypocrite. Do as I say, not as I do. Why can she get away with doing that? Because you let her. Call her out on her bullshit or put up with it.

[BlueScorpio]

I don't know my husband and both do it cause we have a dishwasher lol

[bean2k21]

[bubblegunnn]

I dont like mess.. so I never leave dirty dishes.. always wash them straight away

[wittymilf]

:) because the chick knows she’s the one who will eventually put all the dishes in the dish washer.

[JosyJosy]

Cause there isn't a second woman to yell at the first.

[NathanDavis]

do you ever do the dishes at your place?

even if that only means to put them in the dishwasher?

or is she the one to always do that... lol

[AviatorTom]

I'm the one that usually puts my dishes (and hers) in the dishwasher

[exitseven]

Guys usually could give a rats behind about dirty dishes. They are busy thinking about sex.

[TroyDT]

Too funny. When friends come over I yell at them for putting dishes in the soapy water without rinsing them first.

[dustybiker]

Everyone is pretty good in my house. Just feels better when you don’t have pointless tasks sitting around.

[hafinjun]

Tom if you actually figure that one out, you'll be my hero,

[Smallboobsgotohell]

I have never cleaned dishes or my room in my life haha

[maximumpower]

"Princess" syndrome.
Had one of those. Got so she wouldn't flush the toilet, too.

[Charliefretz329]

Because women have been granted superiority rights. Accept your place slave! 😫

[Bklynbadboy12]

Well I don't play that don't yell at me especially not over no dishes treat me with respect and I'll do the same if you don't we won't be together very long

[slatyb]

"She yells at me" Maybe you should find someone else.

[AviatorTom]

There are other very good things in our relationship. Life is never perfect.