Have you ever had a relationship where it seems you put in substantially more effort?

Question

Did it make you feel like you didn't even matter to that person?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Yes my ex , and it’s a tough cookie to swallow , when it feels like you are in a one sided relationship and you feel like you are the only one giving without receiving , then it’s best to value yourself worth and realize you deserve better , there is only so much you can give someone without receiving , No relationship is perfect , but when it gets to the point where you have to keep sitting down and compromising with each other and nothing changes it’s best to end that relationship and realize you deserve better than a one sided relationship , If your partner can’t remove selfishness for you then you sure as hell can’t remove selfishness for them , When 2 people value each other they eliminate selfishness for each other , when it feels like you are the only one removing selfishness then it’s time for you to move on

exitseven · Accepted Answer

I had a long distance relationship for 3 years. I would write to her every week. Maybe I would get a letter back once a semester. I went out to see her maybe ten times in 3 years and she came out to see me three times, once because she told me she was coming so I made plans not to work that week and the day before she calls me and tells me she is not coming. I told her if she didn't come we were done so she came out on the bus. The last time I saw her , she showed up at the airport in a dirty hooded sweatshirt and she had a weird perm and she said she almost forgot to pick me up. That was the moment I realized she would never change and I wanted somebody who would really value me. A couple of months later I broke up with her. I don't even think she was that sad about it. I never heard from her again.

Pinay_ako · Accepted Answer

Yes! I found myself giving more and getting less… well he was unemployed/out of school and I was still in college. We were both 19-20… I used to go see him instead of seeing me despite my busy schedule. It was a relief 😅 when we both decided to breakup. I told him thanks ☺️

dustybiker · Accepted Answer

No. That would be a turn-off from the get go. Chasing someone around for attention or effort is not something I would have done. Healthy relationships seem easy as both halves are all in.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If you have enough relationships, you will eventually will have such a one-sided affair. When it happens, it is very frustrating!

TheVigilantOne · Answer

In my last relationship I tried my best to be a loving boyfriend even though I found it really hard due to the abuse I received as a child, but she had what seemed like no time for me, always on this stupid video game or watching stupid soaps on TV, if I had a meltdown or a panic attack she’d just ignore me or say “breathe” not helping at all but when she had a meltdown or a panic attack I’d run to her side and get her through it, it turned out she was a narcissist and no matter what I did it wasn’t enough she even tried to stab me I have left her now so I’m safe, but she did ruin a year and nine months of my life and all I wanted to do was make her happy.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I've been there. For me, the problem wasn't that I felt I didn't matter, it was more that I needed to take time to figure out if my partner was just a boring person, or if she just didn't like me enough to put in effort.

melanieeeB · Answer

I'm somehow always the one who seems to be putting more effort into my relationships, friendships and etc...

Anonymous · Answer

Many relationships like that when I was a teen. But it’s what made a clear difference between men and boys. Men put in an equal amount of effort into a relationship. Boys waste your time.

red324 · Answer

If they do it involves an insecure clingy girl who wants to text me every minute of the day, but then still wants me to jump through hoops to meetup in person.

SAMI_DABBAB · Answer

I've been that situation but I never felt like I don't matter, what makes it look bad is comparing, we should never compare something we chose to do

Anonymous · Answer

Definitely, and when I began to notice I started really paying attention and began putting in 0 effort to see where it would go... When the answer was nowhere, I had my answer

lovedejj_xo · Answer

Yes my last relationship and now I’m talking to someone and he puts in a lot of effort and we aren’t even in a relationship yet so I’m happier

dolemite89 · Answer

yep and it’s taught me that the person who cares the least holds the power in the relationship. That’s why jerks have gf’s and nice guys finish last 😂

Jamesshinobi · Answer

i have never been in a relationship where this wasmt the case

AsaKyo · Answer

Yeah, when I was ages 14-17 I don't really care anymore after all that

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Uh huh. And it led to the relationship becoming toxic

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Yes I did and it made me feel like it was pointless

TroyDT · Answer

All of them, which is why I am still single.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

*Spoiler alert* - it didn't last.

2Wheels · Answer

Yes. It made me feel like I meant nothing to them.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Been there done that.

driven159 · Answer

Yes, but not for long just end it fast

Zolly99999 · Answer

Omg yes.. it sucks...

Shy_Steve · Answer

Yes, It was toxic and it sort of badly.

Anonymous · Answer

I've had friendships like that.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes and we finally broke up

Anonymous · Answer

Still am but it gets worse

Anonymous · Answer

Everytime.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes.

Have you ever had a relationship where it seems you put in substantially more effort?

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Have you ever had a relationship where it seems you put in substantially more effort?

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