Did you ever had a SO who didn't know what she/he wanted in life?

[DiegoO]

⚠️What's your experience?

💭My experience was from a LDR, but yeah, it was somewhat frustrating at times, to try cheering up my LDex; knowing from her own words that she didn't know what she wanted.

It made me feel uneasy because I just didn't know where I was heading with her, even after—hypotethically— breaking the distance.

Even after the last time we stayed in contact—around 7-6months ago—she mention she's trying to find herself—in the time that passed she actually had a boyfriend in person, after knowing him online.

[midnightmoon05]

I never did. Because I know for sure those who use that line means two things.
1. I am not what they want.

2. They are lost.
*** if I stick around…things won’t change. So I say good luck to them ***

Since I know what I want, I don’t want to waste my time. Life is too short.
my son who is 13 is like me. He knows what he wants and able to spot the type of girls he is interested in.

there was a relationship story I heard from the radio. The 11 yr old girl had a party and few boys/girls were invited to dinner. One boy wanted steak. The mom said, that’s the kind of boy/guy you want…because he knows what he wants in life.

Don’t waste time with those who will waste your time. They don’t care about you.

[DiegoO]

I don't think knowing what you want or what your SO want determines the quality of the relationship—atleast not after some time.

Your SO can know in fact that she/he wants you, but at the same time it can be that she/he has no long term life objective. Or the other way around.

Ideally, it would be the best to find a partner who aligns with your values, who wants you for who you are and who has personal goals. Unfortunately, some start a relationship, without fully knowing their self.

[midnightmoon05]

How has that work out for you?

[DiegoO]

Well, the relation didn't went beyond LD, so from a afar I came to my senses and realized I need to accomplish my personal goals, before actively seeking for a partner IN PERSON, because all the online experience was toxic.

[midnightmoon05]

In person…good choice.
Word of advice…stay away when they tell you they don’t know what they want.

“I don’t know what I want” = I am not what they want.

[DiegoO]

I figure that out. After 5y of the breakup and 8 years—since we met online—she haven't changed much or perhaps at all.

[DiegoO]

Thanks for the advice👍

[LazerBean]

No, it always sounded like a waste of time to me. I knew exactly what I wanted out of life, and knew that I needed someone who was on that same path. Once I knew what I needed and what I wanted, it made the dating/vetting process incredibly easy.

[OlderAndWiser]

My ex-girlfriend (the one who spent several years in Nicaragua) was an alcoholic and she was absolutely lost in life, other than knowing that she wanted more alcohol.

[DiegoO]

I imagine you had it tough, dealing with her alcoholism.

I can only hope my ex wasn't already dealing with drinking problems and I can only hope she hasn't drop in any addiction.

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, she was a huge drain on my life but I am responsible for the choice I made when I allowed her into my life.

[Avicenna]

Yeah, she was a 16 year old in a 30 year old's body. But for the most part, I've been lucky to date focused career women.

[menina]

I've never had an SO so I've never had this experience either.