Have you ever desired someone you shouldn't have?

Question

iFarted · Accepted Answer

Yep, I have and it sucked... I saw her 5-6 days a week. She worked at her parents donut shop that was on the same block as my family business. She was always warm, friendly, welcoming and almost always gave off positive energy when I went to grab my morning coffee. We got to know each over very well and grew very close over time. I developed a crush early on and became very infatuated. As a little time went by she started a certain phase in her life and I was not about that life... that's when I realized she wasn't for me. It didn't make her a bad person, I still enjoyed the times we did hang out and I did love her as a person. We just wanted different things at that time in our life and simply weren't compatible.. When I moved on she developed feelings for me, but I cherished her too much as a friend to be dating her. We did eventually drift apart when she decided to go back to college and eventually move away. I still visit her mother at the donut shop every once in a blue moon. Her momma always jokingly tells me that she would've set us up financially for life and she always hoped her daughter and I got together..

Sometimes I get random thoughts of what if we did date, life would probably be so much different.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Yes it can happen unfortunately , attraction is a crazy thing , have lost a friendship over it before , so it’s something I try to avoid ever happening again. I ended up getting with my ex friend’s wife , she ended up divorcing him for me , her and I had amazing chemistry band connection together and both very attracted to each other , so one thing lead to another and we ended up in bed and started dating.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Great question... Morally shouldn't? No. If a guy's not available he's simply not available. Logically shouldn't? Possibly... I mean, we're all young and stupid at some point. Acting on it? No, it wouldn't have been logical to do so.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I googled a guy I liked as a teenager and he is beautiful now and just as nice as ever but he is married. I know I can’t add him as a contact on Facebook cause he is married and I find him attractive.

ManOnFire · Answer

Yep. An older lady on an old job who was married. Very attractive woman in her 50s, I wanted her really bad. It's really rare for me to want a married woman and that one was an exception.

AviatorTom · Answer

Many times, it's part of life to sometimes want something you can't have.

Sunrise_in_Sydney · Answer

In the early days of my relationship a man I was attracted to at the time was infatuated with me and would not let up, he is very persistent.
The problem besides the fact that I am in a happy relationship was the fact that I found him extremely attractive. Though I don't feel that way now.
He's still handsome, but after 6 years of knowing him with the behavior he's had the entire time has made him 12x less handsome in my eyes.

After it was discovered that he had this crush it was a challenge for me to push off his advances and not respond. (I was younger and had some flirt tendencies at that time.)
Responding only spurred him on more and as much as I loved the attention, he wasn't the guy for me and still isn't.
The last thing I wanted was to lead him on, though he is well aware that I am in a commited relationship and should know better.

He is still around to this day but I always keep him at arms length.
He's a friend of mine but majority my husband's and my husband is well aware of his friends feelings about me. We've discussed it in detail and we are both fine with him staying in our life's due him being a childhood friend of my husbands and one of the founders of our friend group.

I met my husband and this man on the same day at the same time so, I think he thought he had a shot. (Even with the attraction I had for him he didn't.)

I just keep my distance.
We used to be close but after it was brought to my attention that he had alterior motives to being my friend. (By another friend who had noticed his behavior and told me.) I had to step back.

To me it was fine for me to be attracted to him because I wouldn't ever act on it but the moment it was discovered he was purposely and actively acting on his attraction towards me I panicked. Apparently everyone knew about it.
I pretended I wasn't aware and ignored his flirting entirely, I was still warm and understanding with him as a friend does but I really felt bad for him.

Fast forward to recent years, after my husband and I got married he gave up to a degree. He's had a couple girlfriends that he's all compared to me. And I quote "Oh yeah and she's just like you/myname." And he's said that about every girl he's dated when speaking to anyone in our friend group and directly to me. That warmness I felt for him left.

I'm an affectionate person and am very affectionate with my friends, but after he started comparing his girlfriends to me I put a stop to any affection I showed him.

I used to hug him, now I don't.
I used to be excited to see him, now I stay seated and calm.
Small easy ways I show that I am uninterested without being entirely mean, he still trys to flirt with me and always looks at me as if he expects me to flirt back (even in front of my husband sometimes, who just rolls his eyes and ignores it.) but I don't respond to any of it.

Just because the person is attractive doesn't mean they are a particularly good person. I'm just glad I knew that because if not this whole situation could have ended up on Jerry Springer.

sawno · Answer

Maybe, hard to say. I had one girl I was in to who ended up being a liar and had the nature to cheat. I had one girl I aligned with at the time in an opposites attract kind of way but the opposites part only got worse after we grew apart. So was my feelings / "love" for them justified? No. But at the same time those were my first two love interests and it thought me a few valuable things. The third love interest wouldn't happen until many years later since it made me picky, but when i had her she was incredible and truly worth loving.

HawkPerception · Answer

Hmm. I mean, there was a girl that I had a crush on in high school who was the sweetest girl. I asked her out and she rejected me, but she was still extremely nice about it. Even when she got married later on in life, I still thought to myself "Damn... lucky dude."

Avcfhcic · Answer

My most recent crush. A colleague in work who has a 5 year old child, a drug dealer ex that they broke up on bad terms, has a crazy family and is 4 years older than me. And my other with colleagues have said she sleeps around yet she tells me she wants old school love.
Lucky escape

Dargil · Answer

I was at a venue with my much loved and respected wife, when a stunning young female came through the door. She made me feel 14 again. My wife noticed my struggle to look away. I'm pretty well disciplined but Holy Fukk! I don't want to see her again or hope she gains 20 pounds.

just_a_potato · Answer

Many many times unfortunately. I think the worst instance was with my chemistry teacher when I was 17. I was practically obsessed with him. The entire year. So much wasted time LOL.

NathanDavis · Answer

an older neighbor of mine... her fault, though

Dongie · Answer

I guess so. My cousin 2 years older than me at 25, I 22. We were drinking a little amount and going to my sister's about 60 miles away. I had been having fantasies about her for 6 plus months. I just leaned in to kiss her and we started smoochin' and hands all over one another. It was scaulding. She was petite, blonde with full shapely lips. Lasted about 45 minutes. We stopped when we arrived. My sister new it anyhow.

Damaged00 · Answer

I believe everyone has. Desire is not something you can control. Throw in the forbidden fruit aspect and the desire can intensify. Would never act on it though.

Mcclusky41 · Answer

Oh yes. I do this regularly and quite often. Mostly its women who are much younger then me and are frustrated with young men there own age. I find myself guilty of seducing them or wanting to.

strangeatcircleK · Answer

I think for me, it's an endless hopeless romantic

Is she the one? I can see myself with her. Is she the one? I can see myself with her?
Rinse and repeat until I realize the rom com is over and I'm back to where I started

Unit1 · Answer

Nein Unless you count a certain pink haired cat girl

Ευδεμονια · Answer

Yes I did. All the times I desired someone was someone who I shouldn’t have :(

Angelo75 · Answer

Unfortunately... yes. None of those situations ended well. So nowadays I just steer clear.

PointlessNonsenseGuy · Answer

Oooooh, someone's got a crush on her brother-in-law. Or her brother. Or something like that.

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, I am not that foolish to get hung on anything or anyone I can't have.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, in high-school there was a girl I liked since 8th grade, the grade just before high school. She not only said no, but told her friends that i asked her out, in front of me, and they all laughed

standardguy · Answer

Yes but i never made it a real act but only thoughts and words.

Smartman5 · Answer

Yes, I did. But I guess I wasn't serious. Childish dreams

Anonymous · Answer

Always… i currently want my coworker and that will never happen

msc545 · Answer

I have, and acted on it. It did not end well.

LEGENDARY4200 · Answer

Most definitely like Most people I would assume lol 😏😉

OhLongJohnsoning · Answer

People want, what they can't have I guarantee it

IWILLPLEASEYOU · Answer

I always want to get naked and fuck each other loudly

Anonymous · Answer

Where is that picture from? Looks like a movie still? The girl looks hot.

RebelinSteel · Answer

Yeah a couple of times

Keyboardkat · Answer

Oh, yes! It can happen very easily!

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Like a taken guy, yes or a celeb.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Yeah once a long time ago.

Sasquach · Answer

Yes, I had a mad crush on my 7th grade teacher

Luckycharms12 · Answer

I think majority of us have more than once

luvstoned4him · Answer

haven't we all?

Anonymous · Answer

Every woman I've ever been attracted to.😆

Dreamclouds · Answer

Yes, hapens every now and then sadly

dinojames22 · Answer

My pregnant married neighbor

nolabels · Answer

Yes, I have!

İronclaw_ · Answer

yes I experienced something like this

abused_slave · Answer

That's why they're called sexual abusers.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah they’re usually married

bowenw · Answer

Many time

Booklover_90 · Answer

Yup.

Becky316 · Answer

A couple times

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Yes. I have

DrPepper12 · Answer

Yup.

dudeinohio · Answer

Sure

12karen · Answer

Yes, I have

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Sure have

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah

jackieistired · Answer

Ya all the time

Sweetdreams1950 · Answer

No..

woahhh152 · Answer

Yeah

jahaims · Answer

Nope

Anonymous · Answer

Sister

noohair · Answer

In what way?

Amur8711 · Answer

Yes, a few times

MasterKS · Answer

unlimited times!

Have you ever desired someone you shouldn't have?

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Have you ever desired someone you shouldn't have?

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