Can kids bring people closer?

Question

Or repair a disintegrating relationship?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Not usually.

The below article says…

“Numerous studies show that marriages tend to suffer after the birth of a child. In fact, Researchers the rate of decline in relationship satisfaction is almost twice as steep for couples with children than for childless couples. The problem, Benshing says, is that “people don’t stop and think about how even positive things in our lives bring in stress, so if we’re already in a bad place in our relationship, that will bring stresses and make our marriage more stressful.”

https://www.wevorce.com/blog/having-kids-cant-save-marriage/

Also, per the following article…

https://www.moms.com/couples-think-child-will-mend-relationship/

“If your relationship is already struggling, don't believe for one second that a baby will save it whatsoever. Instead, spend time exploring other ways to reconnect or seek out professional help.”

Details from the above article…

“the American Psychological Association says that marital connection actually nosedives after a couple welcomes a baby into the world...”

“mothers typically just end up taking on even more duties once the baby is born while most fathers simply continue working a full-time job and the same amount of housework they handled before the child arrived. When this happens, resentment builds and mothers typically battle depression and other issues as a result.”

“Something very primal happens during pregnancy. A woman's hormones create a sense of panic and fear that her partner is going to leave. She becomes overly controlling and concerned about his safety [and] mothers-to-be will pay attention to their male counterparts, but only out of fear [and this] causes many men to feel trapped and controlled - thus driving them away even more.”

mobiusforniner · Accepted Answer

Having kids of my own, honestly kids disintegrate a relationship. Dont get me wrong, I love my kids. But they demand tons of attention. Life is constantly changing. Parents become tired. Ideally parents work together to rear children but there becomes an increasing desire for "me" time. Less time together with spouse and less disposable income because you're always too busy helping with homework, managing spilled cups, wiping snotty noses, band aiding "boo boos", buying new toys, investing in sports or hobbies, fixing broken shit everyday, coaching them through good and bad life choices... the list is endless.

In short, your definition of love evolves from passion and romance to sacrificing your 2am sleep to attend to your 3 year olds nightmares so your spouse can sleep. Went from having sex three times a day to literally once every few weeks, and even then its crammed into a 5 min shower session hoping the kids dont come banging on the door.

dustybiker · Accepted Answer

No. Kids are not some magic force to bring people together.

I come from a generation of woman (it seemed I was surrounded there were so very many) who were getting pregnant with the intension of attempting to corral and domesticate their targets. It never works like that. Using children as a tool doesn’t work.

Kids aren’t easy. They being out the worst sides of exhausted parents. When people love each other, raising said children going to work better. If there are problems in a relationship those stressors only amplify the problems.

420Rachel · Accepted Answer

If there are already existing problems in a relationship that aren't fixed before a child is born, that child doesn't magically make those problems go away. In fact, the stress of taking care of a new baby can make a toxic relationship even worse. I believe that's why we have so many single parents today. They believe that a child will strengthen the relationship but as I said, if there are already problems between parents, a kid won't solve those problems, it just throws an innocent into the middle of the chaos.

ohsheeT · Answer

No no no that's the last thing you want to do is bring kind in to an already failing relationship.. because they don't need to be caught up in it when it goes bad... .
You need to be honest with yourself right now

You know why it's not working out be 100 % honest with each other someone always has to be right or in control there is no such thing .. the only thing that will fix it is to be honest

Apple1996 · Answer

Depends on the couple. It either brings them closer together or further apart. For me I was lucky and my kids brought me and my hubby closer

Kori1236 · Answer

Yes and no. It entirely depends on the relationship and situation. Are we talking a couple that are on rocky terms and think a baby will fix their problems. No, it’s highly unlikely to work. Someone will end up miserable. But if we’re talking about a friend or family member having a baby or raising a child that needs extra help and becomes closer with the child and that child’s parent then yes I can see that happening. My best friend had a child and we’ve become closer sharing the duties of caring for that child. Despite my initial apprehension as I dislike children.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

Not at all. They're a great way to destroy your life, your partner's life, and the kids' lives.

Don't try to have kids. They're not a fix, they're whole other humans who have needs, wants, and complex lives.

What you're looking for is therapy. Go to couple's therapy and make sure you mention you thought a child would fix your problems.

Rose_84 · Answer

For me they DIVIDE you. You and your partner end up giving time and energy to these humans and have none left to give each other.

Kids become the priority even if it's their fault and one partner might feel left out and start resenting the other.

ZackBan · Answer

Absolutely NOT.
The only thing this logic will do is raise some messed up kids with every mental issue on the menu.

Unless you're already in a stable relationship, emotionally AND financially you're not doing a kid a favor by bringing them into this already cruel world.

Light909090 · Answer

Can A Dumb Little Kid That has no life experience that just sees the parents as the one that Will Serve me repair a relationship
Ha yeah right Unless your crazy no kid is going to Bring you to an enlightened State that repairs a relationship if you think a crybaby is going to Bring people closer your greatly mistaken

Sour-rose · Answer

Yes and no. Yes- they are now happy to be with the other. No- fk you, and this kid. Fk this family, your cat, and this city! (drives off into the moonlight forever, leaving said kid with other)

lightningwolfo · Answer

DO NOT HAVE KIDS IF YOUR HAVING THEM TO FIX YOUR RELATIONSHIP. YOU WILL JUST PUT YOUR PROBLEMS ON THEIR SHOULDERS AND IT WILL NOT BE GOOD FOR THEIR MENTAL HEALTH.

Honest-Matt · Answer

No, having the strength and mindset to take responsibility to uphold your commitment to the relationship is what keeps it together. A successful life partnership takes a lot of work and isn't always fun.

Anonymous · Answer

Can kids bring people closer? Only to suicide! My boss is baby crazy and has a standing request that the office staff bring their babies to the office... Generally they do it when they've screwed up because kids put her in a good mood...

Anyway, those kids drive those of us without NUTS

AmayaHairat · Answer

No it does NOT (for some it might)

But i surely you shouldn't bring a kid in the equation where things are not stable and are disintegrating

Kids have to arrive in a place filled with love

all i can say is DONT BE SELFISH to use hopes of an unborn child to repair your shitty relationships

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

No, unless the lack of kids was the strain on the relationship, but thats really unhealthy.

It can cause a relationship to fall apart though if one or both didn't want kids and they ended up with kids anyway

Adam1978 · Answer

No unless it makes you to busy and tired to argue with you partner anymore, then it will only postpone it. When the kid is older it will come back with a even stronger dislike.

Derekk · Answer

Don't rely on it. If you end up having kids (especially unplanned), your SO might resent you and only wish to maintain a relationship with the kid.

Daniela1982 · Answer

The way all these people are killing their kids I would say, for a lot of these people, it doesn't bring them closer, unless they were to be in the same jail cell.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I've watched kids shit all over relationships as well. But yeah, maybe it's possible. There are a lot of factors that would go into it.

Marshymallow · Answer

Only if the people involved care about the kids. If they don’t GAF about the kids then no.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I have never once seen it work, but I suppose it could, if the right personalities are at play.

Gent207-2 · Answer

Kids are not responsible to heal a broken marriage.

VanguardTitan · Answer

Absolutely not. Never have kids to save a relationship, all you're doing is making the kid suffer for your relationship troubles. You should have kids when your relationship is stable.

dudeinohio · Answer

No. They cause more stress. Raising a child is very stressful. You won't repair the relationship and one person will be stuck with child support payments.

jshm2 · Answer

No. Don't even bother, you're not the first to think it will.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

No I think it's a total stereotype... Most of the time it gets even worse and the kids are the ones who pay for it

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

According to the black lady in Ted 2, yes. However for myself…. I can’t think of a way to make it sound dramatic enough. I’d have a brain aneurysm and more, how about that

exitseven · Answer

Nope, having a kid to fix a marrrige is a mean thing to do to a little kid.

Googlemyahoo · Answer

If the parents are assholes no. My neighbours are assholes guess what so are their kids lol.

maximumpower · Answer

Contrary to the warped ideas of so many women, bringing children into an already strained relationship does NOT repair it.

Paul09 · Answer

I see couples fighting who has time of to do things. Or who did more work with the kids lol. So no, not really.

Anonymous · Answer

They complicate things from bad to worse. Whoever went this path fully deserves all hardships that come with it.

Tonyblony · Answer

No no they can't the spouses have to carr enough in themselves it will happen but not because of the kids

Anonymous · Answer

Kids will bring more stress to the relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

I have seen that work for the better, and the worst.

annabananna · Answer

They brought me and my husband closer together.

clampfan101 · Answer

It’s possible for them to help a lot.

TheAfrikan · Answer

absolutely true

SkyCastle90 · Answer

Not at all.

Tina19 · Answer

I never believe so

Jamie05rhs · Answer

. No.

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes they can

OnlinePeanut22 · Answer

No. Is can't

Fuentes · Answer

Lol no

allgoodmyfoot · Answer

No they can't.

jimmy2 · Answer

Yes they do

Hotboy_booblover · Answer

Yes definitely

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