Deep poll: do you tend to feel like you’re unlucky & get the shorter end of the stick in life?

[Anonymous]

Maybe I’m just a negative & suspicious person but I often just feel like I have more problems than the average person. No I’m not dying or lost a limb but anyone relate?

Yes

No

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Yeah, but I've come to realize it's not just me and it's not exactly unluckiness as much as it is circumstance.

I'm a first generation immigrant, the first of my family born in Canada. That already puts me at a disadvantage compared to Canadian kids whose families have been here for generations - and thus whose families own land and have generational wealth.

I'm born female, which again is a disadvantage in many ways which I still see today. Wages are lower and life requires more effort and work to attain the same professional achievements men attain more easily. Also, slower metabolism and less height. 😒

My parents weren't ready to have a child, my mother particuparly, and both sides have extensive hereditary diseases and illnesses - both physical and mental. I've struggled with diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder for years, but only recently got treatment and have gotten it more or less under control. I'm also being assessed for ADHD. Fortunately it seems in old age my grandparents kept their minds, so hopefully I won't need to worry about Alzheimer's or Dementia.

I also suffered abuse at my mother's hand, enabled by my father, and that kinda made my upbringing not very good. Instead of focusing on growing and improving like my peers, it was everything I could do just to survive growing up.

My mother also stole money from me which set me back in my post-graduation life. And my father charged me rent, while most of my peers got to stay home rent free. In fact, he charged me above market average for rent.

All this said, though, I don't think it's ruined my life. I can take a lot more on than my peers thanks to my rough upbringing, and it's made me very resilient and capable of chugging forwards towards my goals.

Being able to accurately look back at my life and the the factors that impact (ed) me has helped me stop comparing myself to people whose circumstances have made their success easier to grasp. It's helped me move from an envious mindset to one where I can genuinely celebrate their success with them, genuinely finding happiness is seeing them succeed.

It's helped me approach my life with a much more healthy attitude.

[Whatthefluff]

Your feelings and experiences are valid. However, it is good for your mental health to practice gratitude and data suggests that optimistic people actually live longer. It's worth practicing a daily gratitude list.

[MCheetah]

Quite literally all the time. Because I did. My only "lucky thing" was being born in the US and not some third world sh*thole like India, Saudi Arabia, or Honduras. I had to lie, cheat, steal, fight, and hustle for everything I ever got in life and I still have less than your average American earning $50K right now with an IQ of 87 (especially women; most First World women have such few problems, they have to make them up; like "mansplaining" and literally of feminism). I complain a lot less now though as I've gotten used to just how unfair life is.

[TheUniqueOne96]

Yeah, either that or I just hate life, it just seems like I can't do anything in peace without something going wrong, fucking up or someone just casually being an asshole to me.

I also have a tendency to have a hard time getting over things too, so there you go.

[Anonymous]

Nah. I dont believe in luck. If I did, I would say I have been fortunate, even though I'm not in the place I want to be. I made this bed for myself, I can't blame fate