Long distance relationship: Guy is having a stressful and crucial week at work, and I got really sick and want his support. Should I tell him?

[Anonymous]

Or would that add stress for him?

[DaveJord]

Thing about on line dating or long distance relationships is that they fun and convenient until they are not. So part of the allure with long distance relationships, is that it requires a degree of imagination. You are talking to this person, and maybe you have met them, but you are both in these separate life situations and neither of you are really going through those things together... but have this thought process in which you really belief at some point down the line it will lead to this special place that you are really just imagining in your head.

Being in long distance relationships are fun, because you get to participate in them when its convenient for you... but once it becomes real and there are actual expectations being place upon you then all of the sudden it becomes less convenient.

So yes, I would tell him... but I would not expect much of him. I mean how far away is he from you? How many times have you met?

I am dating a women and she got COVID and her room mate was giving her a hard time, so I had her come and stay with me and made her soap and took care of her. She ended up giving me COVID and then we both went through it together. But it wasn't a long distance relationship, we were interacting with each other in a real and direct way on a routine bases. So we learned things about each other in a few hours, days or weeks that take people months or years to figure out about the other person in a long distance relationship.

So long distance relationships can be really fun, and you can let your imagination go a little and just enjoy the fantasy, but you start getting too real and then reality takes hold.

[Staximus]

He's far away, all he can do is say "I hope you feel better". Being sick is not an emotional issue, he can't give you any support unless he's right there taking care of you.

[quaranta]

You should mention that because you're his girlfriend and he should be interested to know these things, but don't imply you want his support. Just mention that as a reply to "how are you today", casually, not waiting for his reassurements and not making it overdramatic.
This is because right now he is the one who needs support (in any form, even in the form of giving him space). So he is probably not in the condition to give anything. While being stressed, our mind is occupied by a ton of problems to solve that require our "support" and attention already, with urgency, so we can give very little to extra-tasks (like supporting someone).
For support there are always friends, so just engage in conversations with friends, keep up updates with friends you don't hear from a while, etc. Maybe they won't give a "cuddly" support but they distract you and give anyway attention.
While at the same time, stay available for him if he needs your support. If he will ask it to maybe let the steam off, then he might also give his presence back.
I say this because in this case he has priority, a crucial week at work, while you are just sick and a bit down emotively. He seems in a worse moment than you, even if physically better, but mentally he is potentially saturated or burning out.
Conclusion: tell him, but mind the "way" you tell it, and contact your friends instead.

[Asker]

You took the words right out of my mouth. Hence why felt hesitant saying anything in the first place. But if I don't I might get back a "why didn't you tell me?"

[Emiliamazing]

You should mention, he will want to know if he cares for you🥰

[BarryLiverstone]

Better to communicate. Even if you acknowledge his week will be busy and suggest a time to take a break and talk

[In_Trance]

You know him, you tell us...

[Anonymous]

Of course you should mention it.

[Opinion Owner]

But make sure to listen to his issues too.

[Asker]

Well, of course. I just don't want to distract him at work...

[Opinion Owner]

Then its best to wait till he gets home.

[Asker]

Works late as well. Maybe letting him know that I have something to tell him when he's not as busy.

[Opinion Owner]

That sounds good.