Why do men try to make good looking girls feel ugly once they’re with them?

Question

I have noticed that once you get close to them and particularly once you’re in a relationship they will try to make you feel ugly and unattractive and subliminally tell you that in their opinion there are people more beautiful than you.

I would rather be alone forever than with any man who does this but it seems like they all do to an extent.

Ladies please share your experiences and theories on why this may be and how you’ve avoided it if you have successfully eliminated it from your life.

Men please share why you think other men do it.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

So honestly this type of thing that only insecure people do in order to condition the other person into accepting some level of abuse and there by exert greater influence over the person.

So I take some limited and small degree of offense, in why "MEN" do this, it should be why do "PEOPLE" do this... because I have had women do this me.

So in my case I felt like I was married to a very attractive women, but she was constantly insecure about her own looks. So my ex-wife always resented my self-confidence, and would do everything she could in settle ways to demasculate me, and make me feel less than. In doing this condition me to accept the abuse, that lead to greater means of her attempting to exert control and influence.

But at the end of the day its because they are insecure about themselves and their position in the relationship... its about them not feeling deserving or worthy enough, so in devaluing you they feel that they are placing themselves on more equal footing. If you accept this type of abuse then they find value in being about to control you in this way... which is why my marriage was so toxic because I rejected her abuse and that lead to a lot of hostility.

Its self severing, self-destructive, and highly toxic behave and women do it as much as men.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

I've seen this happen too many times they try to get the girl to start eating more food to become fat her they start telling them how to dress because they're control freaks they have no confidence in themselves they're jealous about every guy that's a girl talks to they have no confidence in themselves and they tried to control the girl the best thing to do is to walk away don't walk away run away fast these guys will destroy your life quicker than blink of an eye any girls that read this remember one thing do not let any guy ever control you do not ever let some guy tell you what to do and what not to do you are the boss of yourself and only yourself when a guy starts trying to control you and you allow it to happen one time he will keep going and going and going it'll never work out somebody usually gets hurt run away now

lickmypink216 · Accepted Answer

I agree with most of the answers. The ones about the man being insecure and uses that to make you feel less and lose your confidence.
Its those men that know they can't be what you need and will try to take you down a notch so they feel equal. The only stupid thing is that if they werent good enough you wouldn't have chose to be with them. A lot of dudes pretend to be someone they aren't to impress you. When things get rolling and the real him seeps out they lash out and try to cut ya down.
Its only happened to me once and ironically he is very toxic. Literally had codependency and somewhat a sociopath. He still won't leave me alone. If your guy is doing this to you RUN

Rei02 · Accepted Answer

They are masking their own flaws and insecurities. In the beginning, they do the opposite, they can tell you what a wonderful person you are, but as time pass or if en they feel more comfortable with the relationship, they start this emotional bullying, giving the pretext that they do it for your own good (yeah, like some parents say to excuse their aggressive and neurotic behaviour towards their children).

At that point, the woman has to become warned, and take the desicion to leave if this kind of behaviour is more frequent.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Those men have low self esteem to begin with and insecure … so when they finally get the hot girl, they make her feel like she’s nothing. And all of a sudden he’s the king of the world. Classic narcissist! Run!!!

Jeansnowstarkbastard · Answer

Truth be told i find that behaviour unacceptable.
All women are beautiful and special in their unique way.
But my theory is that the guy feels insecure in the relationship and wants to ensure that the woman does not leave them or feel that they would be able to do better.
Because if the woman feels she is not good enough for her current partner she will not have a chance of finding someone else.

(not saying it is the truth but it might explain why they do such despicable things)

BeMuse · Answer

If you sell yourself on your looks, then there’s not much that makes you beautiful. How would you feel about a Christmas present that was spectacularly draped in beautiful wrapping paper, ribbons, and bows but when you opened the box it was a shit sandwich. Would you be like, I love my shit sandwich can you please share the recipe or would you be like wow what the fuck is this shit, I really though it would be better. You need to have a little more depth as a person to be seen as beautiful.

Dennisnky · Answer

I'm speculating because I've never done this and would never. But I do know guys know that girls get comfortable and bored. If there is a risk of losing the guy, girls work harder to keep them. One time I found out this guy was talking to 3 girls at once, and I thought it was horrible so I told on him. Made the situation better for him because then all three started trying HARDER so that he would pick them! smh! So it may be he just doesn't want the girls ego to get out of control to the point where she would just leave him for someone better. So maybe these guys are just really insecure. I've never had a girl treat me that way either.

Truthatanycost · Answer

This is because the connection is based on the lower self / ego, rather than the higher self. With the higher self, one only raises another up and the connection always moves toward ascension. But if the connection is not based on this (most relationships) then it will always move towards the lower vibration which involves bringing people down to the level they subconsciously or subconsciously feel.

Therefore this suggests that your discernment is not detecting such people who are of this vibration...

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

They're trying to keep the girl from trying to fuck other men. It's pretty simple really. I say if you're worried she's going to want to fuck other men then you already know she's going to cheat... why bother trying to make a woman yours... no woman is ever yours, it's just your turn.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

It's nothing personal i believe if they are not trying to hurt you purposefully.

Once the familiarity grows more people value intrinsically based on your attributes and behaviour.

A beautiful girl will always be beautiful but her behaviour keeps the attraction alive.

If the guy is judging or acting as per a girls nature and behaviour they start to see reality as they grow up that beauty can be limited to attraction but to live with that person may suffocate him.

The things they unseen are now starting to prick.

It's just they stop telling you how beautiful you are and the girl starts to feel empty as her main attraction her beauty isn't complemented as it was earlier.
There is more self criticism than the external inputs.

NotTacocaT6969 · Answer

This is a method unworthy men use to try to trap you.

It’s a psychological tactic designed to make you feel like you’re not good enough for anybody else and that he is the only man willing to love you.

In short, t’s a mental cage used by insecure people who are often also narcissists.

Lionman95 · Answer

I'm not sure maybe they are insecure and fear that their girl will choose the next guy coming along over them so they to downgrade their girl for every possible guy. It could be that he goy aa false picture of women through the Internet or porn saying that women can't help themselves so that if a guy comes along that seems better than their man they leave him for this guy.
So they do it in fear of being left.

BlueScorpio · Answer

Those are insecure men who are trying to make you become insecure so you will never leave them. They are scared of losing you to other men cause they know you are really beautiful and can probably catch a lot of men's attention. It's also a way to control the women they are with cause if she starts believing what he's saying, then she really won't think she's worthy of being loved by anyone else even if they aren't together anymore. You just have to be careful.

DermalPunch · Answer

I kinda get what you men. Most men are still little boys. Women are frogs theyvloke to poke with sticks to see what will happen. He's testing you even if he doesn't know it himself. Pick his flaws back outnto him and put him in his place. He will be done with all that nonsense. Don't let a man train you.

snackthatsmilesback · Answer

No yeah that's a tactic, normally to keep you putting up with his shit cause "nobody else wants you." It's bullshit. There are guys who don't do that too but nobody should do that. I've seen it happen with women too. It can fucking destroy your confidence either way. I avoided it cause I called bluff.

TroyDT · Answer

It is a remnant of the PUA "negging" method. Basically along the lines of finding a gorgeous lady and flirt with her homely friend while telling the pretty girl her ears are kind of big or her nose is a little crooked. Allegedly it will make the pretty girl insecure and subconsciously want to get the guy's approval. Sounds like BS to me, but some guys still do it.

Sour-rose · Answer

Control. If you can make someone feel like they depend on you and nothing without you, you made yourself a puppet. It's not a nice thing to do but it's true. Make them small, and make them your puppet

DryGermanGuy · Answer

I have never witnessed anything like that and it sounds totally ridiculous. The only somewhat-possible explanation I have would be a "player", running his pickup-artist handbook on some gullible woman.

AsaKyo · Answer

I can't wait for the day that one dude finally pushes me over the edge to where I can't take it anymore and he makes me really wanna kill myself. Might just life stream my suicide so everyone can watch. There goes another worthless human taking their own life like they should.

HighValue · Answer

Because women like guys that treat them badly. That is why there are many decent guys that are single, and the type that mistreat others, cheat, etc. often have had multiple relationships. Many women REPEATEDLY choose the same kinds of guys.

mandyfire98 · Answer

They're hoping to wreck your confidence so you will depend on them more and think you can't do better than them and you're lucky to even be with them. Don't fall for that amateur bullshit.

MrCommodore · Answer

I assume its a fear tactic, fear that she has lots of options and might leave him for someone hotter or better. So they try to make her believe she is less than what she is

20yearsolder · Answer

It's manipulation, the more they can make you feel bad about yourself the more you feel you need them. They are fucking creepy if you ask me.

J2ohhhhh · Answer

Maybe they don't think that you're that good looking to start with, but they know their own elo, so settle for you, but know that they have to be boosting up your confidence in the campaign period, and once they got what they wanted aren't bothered anymore.

loveslongnails · Answer

" I would rather be alone forever than with any man who does this but it seems like they all do to an extent."

What kind of fucking guys are you hanging out with? Losers? Assholes? Upgrade your company.

NathanDavis · Answer

no idea really... never been a douchebag to women before so it would be very difficult for me to explain the actions of someone I am nothing like

Kori1236 · Answer

Dudes like that sound super insecure. They’re not worth the air they breathe let alone the time you spend on them. Their insecurity is their Hangup not yours

rienna888 · Answer

It's because they're insecure and feel like if the girl is too confident, then she will leave or treat him like shit cuz she knows she could do better. So they try to lower their self confidence.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

It's just a classic way of manipulating... Crushing your confidence ( and making up for it later ) so that they always have the upper hand... I know a lot of guys do it... Why? Cuz they're insecure as f*ck

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Let's stop there. Those are the men you women choose. I don't know men who make such efforts. I don't even do such things.
Instead of trying to figure them out, it's best to leave them in the past where they belong

kikissss · Answer

My ex did that… I am much more aware now of what to look for in a person. I think it is because they are insecure because they now they can’t compete with you. But please run if they start to do that because it only gets worse.

Staximus · Answer

That's a tactic used to manipulate women into sticking around and thinking they are with a good catch instead of a shit bag. Women who fall for these type of bastards should learn how to find a good guy and not look for superficial qualities first like looks, money, status, and other bullshit like that.

LazerBean · Answer

It's never happened to me, so I can't relate. All the men I have talked to and are friends with are gentlemen.

dustybiker · Answer

What type of men are you attracted to? Good men don’t do this.

suzzieQ · Answer

Insecure people will sometimes try to drag others down to make themselves feel better about themselves... kind of sounds like that is what's happening here.

bubblegunnn · Answer

Because he doesn't want his girlfriend to get stolen 🤣

Fireguy17 · Answer

So others won't be interested in them.  they are really insecure, so then they don't have to worry.

BJP21 · Answer

What makes a girl beautiful is a personality. If any guy does this to a girl he's is guilty of mental and emotional abuse. Period. I will never fat shame or call a girl ugly.

genericname85 · Answer

well that's one sign that tells you that you dated a turd and that you should probably move on.

Hardworkingguy · Answer

That's so weird to me. If a man likes s girl that's why he asks her out. Perhaps the ones you've met have some issues they need to solve with a psychologist

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think this is really a thing. I mean yeah like I'm sure it happens but most guys are not like that.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

It’s a manipulation tactic to try and hold onto the woman.

VanguardTitan · Answer

Narcissists and abusers do this to lower their partners self esteem and gain control over them. It's a manipulation tactic.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

They are horrible boyfriends. That's not how you treat your woman. You're supposed to do the opposite!

nawtee_me · Answer

Their own insecurities cause them to want others to feel bad about themselves too. Don’t fall for it.

Heolurt · Answer

Because those are the kind of guys females love picking when dating.

vpogson · Answer

Seriously don't understand why anyone would do that. Surely you want to compliment your partner and help them feel great?

exitseven · Answer

I never do that and I don't know anyone else that does either

Adam1978 · Answer

Unless she is delusional, that many women seem to be today. I don't believe that to be true. Just accept that you are average like most other people and you will see that mens view often reflects reality, not your disney dream.

PinkRose24 · Answer

Ew why would you even give an ugly guy a chance?

KrakenAttackin · Answer

That's because you are chasing Chad Thundercock's.

Chthou95 · Answer

No girl is dating an ugly guy. And if she is, she does it because she knows she'll get an ego boost from him like some kind of fucking lap dog

Guardian45 · Answer

If he's doing that, then you're with the WRONG guy. DTMFer!

Anonymous · Answer

Some are frustrated fellows, you should really tell a woman everyday how beautiful she is

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Because they are possessed by demons.

Anonymous · Answer

Because such women look like this, men just tell them the truth.

JustADudePlayinADude · Answer

You attract the wrong type of guys TBH

es20490446e · Answer

You chose the wrong man.

byrdman89 · Answer

Because they are insecure

Juxtapose · Answer

Those are fuck boys, stop dating fuck boys.

Fuentes · Answer

Sounds like a narcissist

shortster · Answer

Those are toxic people and are best to be avoided.

eagle1951 · Answer

trying to control them

Why do men try to make good looking girls feel ugly once they’re with them?

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Why is it always the unattractive men who try to make a girl feel ugly?

Why do men try to make good looking girls feel ugly once they’re with them?

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