Can someone explain why “pick me” is an insult?

[Sixgunsound]

Because from what I can tell here and a small handful of other places, pick me seems to be a retort from a petulant child who is jealous of girls who can get partners while they remain lonely. If it is an insult to anyone, it is an insult to the speaker.

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+1 y

I wish more women would turn it around on their accusers and shout “he did!”

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+1 y

So in order to be a pick me, it is marked by dishonesty or being disingenuous about their interest in their partners activities? Someone can be lonely and honest about it and not be a pick me?

[ShadezMcgee]

"Pick me's" are essentially simps, regardless of gender. It is when one sacrifices their integrity to put themselves in a better light to be more appealing to the opposite sex, like "male feminists" (Jesus Christ 🙄), regardless of gender. Kind of what @MzAsh said, although not agreeing completely with everything that she mentioned

I say women are free to choose what they want to do. Same with men. Whether they are referred to as such is dependent on the person. I don't believe that women who reject feminist views are pick me's.

[Sixgunsound]

It’s been my experience that the actual hard-core man hating feminist are a small but vocal minority.

[ericclayton]

Also conservative women aren't automatically "pick-me's". That's not what this means.

[MzAsh]

I agree that any woman who rejects feminist views are not necessarily a pickme. It just so happens, at least from what I see, is that many pickmes pretend to go along with anti-feminism even though they still enjoy the benefits and privileges of certain feminist efforts.

[Sixgunsound]

@MzAsh the example of traditional women making megabucks on YouTube by talking about a life they don’t actually live is something that never would have occurred to me.

[ShadezMcgee]

@Sixgunsound small and vocal minority, but a fair example. That would qualify as a pick me alone due to the nature and intention behind it. The self declared male feminists very rarely if not ever care about views, but moreso use it as a prop for themselves to get more female attention and approval for increased chances of getting laid.

Thankfully most women can smell that bullshit and desperation from a mile away if it isn't obvious off the bat

[Sixgunsound]

There is an interesting case study of a recovered male feminist who actually came out the other side stronger in his support for masculinity after being a president of a feminist organization. I’m certain you are familiar with Dr. Warren Farrell?

[ShadezMcgee]

No, I never heard of him. Will have to look him up.

[Sixgunsound]

Well worth the time and effort. If I might recommend ‘The Myth of Male Power’ or ‘The Boy Crisis’, those are good starting points but his entire bibliography is good. He can be a bit verbose and dense as a PhD, but there isn’t much that I would say is unnecessary.

[ShadezMcgee]

I will take a look into it. Could use some more reading material. Thanks for the info.

[Sixgunsound]

That’s not something to say to a librarian😎

[D_Bone_Steak]

Pick me types from my perspective are posers pretending to be something they're not to get attention. Basically, just like the others and pretending not to be for the favorable attention from it.

[Sixgunsound]

Perhaps I had the wrong impression of what the definition of pick me is then. I thought it was a girl trying to get someone to marry her.

[D_Bone_Steak]

From what I know they're a lot like the fake gamer girls. They hate video games but will pretend to like video games just to get that attention from guys that would love to have a girl around that doesn't complain about the video games. The meme is basically "pick me, I'm not like the other girls" for a reason. Chicks are really the same thing in different packages but sometimes they'll pretend just to stand out.

[Sixgunsound]

Add another phenomena that makes me glad I’ve been married for over a decade.

[Sixgunsound]

Wouldn’t it just make more sense or ultimately be easier and have less lies to keep track of to just be honest about who you are and what you want? It’s not like who you are and what you want is not going to come out sooner or later.

[D_Bone_Steak]

It would make more sense, but women are not exactly known for making much sense. They think emotionally and it's kind of just their thing. Get a guy really drunk and he'll start to act like that too to be honest.

[D_Bone_Steak]

After that last update, I'm going to say you're on point. It's like the girl that pretends to like video games, but she never plays any. They'll have the game systems and everything but they never touch the fucking thing. It's just like a dude that involves himself in a hobby he doesn't give a shit about just to pick up the women in that group.

[Sixgunsound]

Ok, thank you.

[MzAsh]

Pickmes are basically female simps. They often pander to a male centric, anti feminist narrative m for attention, even though they covertly have many rather feminist viewpoints that aren’t so obvious right at first. Trad wife content creators who promote traditional gender roles but actually spend 12 hours a day making money on YouTube and Instagram (like realfemsapien) is a good example.

[Sixgunsound]

This explanation with evidence is very helpful.

[Sixgunsound]

I’ve been off the market since 2012, and I don’t pretend to be an expert in these trends like you are.

[MzAsh]

I don’t like to call myself an expert really, but this is a field I’ve been very interested in studying. I think women need to thoroughly understand what kind of energy and impression they’re giving off and what kind of attention that brings. Pickme type girls are going to attracted narcissists and problematic men in general.

[Msputiton]

Pick me is a way to say

Someone is begging to be picked.

So it's pretty much saying someone is desperate

[Anonymous]

Here is an example of the derogatory variant of a "pick me" girl. Her point is to undermine women, be against women's autonomy and putting men on a pedestal.

Many Men don't realize the amount of power that they have!

Doesn't mean all "pick me" girls are bad. If a girlfriend gives me massages and sex and doesn't nag at me every day, you bet your behind i'm gonna pick her.

[Chazmatazz269]

It intones disingenuous behavior. As in, she’s only pretending to care about men’s issues so she can take advantage of the men who actually value men’s issues. Think of “pick me” girls as not-strippers. Sure, they CAN get a fella, but will either of them remain happy over the long term? Probably not.

[eightyeighthgender]

"Pick me" is an insult to the person speaking it.
It is a directive... nay... a pleading, a pleading only necessary if one does not possess the qualities required to make the decision effortless and automatic.
Which position do you think sounds more powerful and proud?
"Pick me" or "This is who I am, this is what you get, if it's not for you, it's for someone else"

[joeldalton]

That's one I can't wrap my head around. Girls will use "pick me" as an insult towards other girls whose only crime is acting pleasant, outgoing and fun.

[ericclayton]

It's generally a term young women and girls label throw at each other as a slur, like we do "simp". It describes a girl desperate for affirmation from males. I have seen it used however for females who hold conservative opinions.