Is he even right to be upset I rejected a promise ring?

[Anonymous]

I didn't accept it and he got upset. I simply think that's ridiculous and feel that love is proven through consistent actions and teamwork, not worthless promise rings where vain words can be blown with the winds.

Don't I have the rights to feel that way too? I feel like he was trying to force me to accept it. He kept going on and on after I said no twice. I can understand if he was upset if it was an actually engagement ring, but a promise ring? LOL

[watercolor_lions]

Even if it were an engagement ring, he doesn't have a right to be angry. That's trying to force someone into commitment, and can even be early signs of abuse if you're not careful.

Maybe he's not abusive but really immature. I'd look out for this one...

[Asker]

Thank you. I'll make a note of this. I'm just not used to promise rings. That's like something done in HS or when you're not ready to fully commit yet... and if you're not ready then simply stay in the relationship, don't give promise rings. After HS the way I see things is be in a relationship, communicate and work as a team.

[watercolor_lions]

I hope things work out for you. And I hope you two get that sorted out. Being forced into something isn't fun.

[NathanDavis]

I think this kind of proves that he doesn't really care that much about how you feel or you want...

he just wants to get his way, and if not... he'll throw a tantrum

this does not sound PROMISING... lol

[Asker]

Exactly. His reaction is off. I expect that reaction if it were an engagement ring and I said no to marriage then ok that's fair. But to a promise ring, where it's just word and nothing is really bonding us before words and feelings? LOL
I don't understand.

[NathanDavis]

well, hopefully... he will get over it, and understand it and then things can be worked out

[FilmGuy93]

The promise ring is part of him trying to demonstrate his love.

[Asker]

I don't need that to prove me he loves me. I don't want it. That's so High School. I don't want promises.

[FilmGuy93]

Don't you see how you're minimizing his gesture though? Wouldn't you feel hurt if you tried to do something to show you love him, and he said "I don't want you to show me like that?"

[Asker]

It depends. If it's about buying an object as a proof of love and promising the moon and the stars, that's not realistic. One thing I wouldn't do is force him to into accepting it. That sounds like of manipulative.

[FilmGuy93]

Forcing someone to accept something they don’t want is manipulative, you are right about that. Your original question is whether he was right to feel hurt though, and I think it’s important to separate his hurt feelings and his reaction. I think his feelings are understandable, but his reaction isn’t.

[In_Trance]

fuck yea. he should give you the toe

[Asker]

Fine with me if he's going to act like an immature child.