What do you do if your partner has high expectations of you?

[Finchie40]

No matter what you do it is never really good enough , but if you do meet their expectations they expect more? Is it best to end the relationship?

[coachTanthony]

----------This is the build a bear theory. They saw you and said man I think I can mold you into the perfect guy through my expectations of who you should be... which never works.

Women who do this see a "future" you that they are trying to build and create and in their mind will be happy with.

Problem is their fantasy never comes true and the next guy that comes along who has those "future" attributes they want... they will simply monkey branch to that guy because in the end it's just easier then trying to build the current model.

in closing... any expectations of another human being is simply premediated resentments.

[DoctorSex]

Sounds like your partner's a ENFJ lol

Im someone with high expectations but I'm reasonable, as long as you're putting in effort then I'm happy.. but I am on your arse of you fall behind haha

Humans are the only creatures that choose to do less than they can do. How big will a tree grow if you allow it to? As big as it can.

It's all down to you my brother. If they are NEVER happy with your progress, then that's not good. It shows a non compassionate heart if someone can never commend any good you do. Eventually it'll lead you into chaos. Probably best you move on if that's the case, otherwise eventually they will.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[sage2021]

When someone has high expectations for you, and you aren't meeting her criteria, it's best to end it with her. There is no magic day that will come when she finally announces that TODAY is the day you've finally met all of my expectations on my list, so, yes, you can stay now.

One thing I would like to add: guys, women (me) don't like or enjoy nagging. It's exhausting and gets us all upset. So, if you know things she has told you that bug her, try to not keep doing it. For instance, if she prefers the toilet seat to be down and you keep leaving it up she might nag you about it. Just sayin'

[AmandaYVR]

If you don't feel you need to raise up to meet them, then end it. You're going to remain bitter and she unsatisfied.

Most females have too-high expectations, and most males are stubborn and want to be taken as-is. This will never change. But each couple has to work through it and decide if either can adapt.

[Bethany22]

Yes, it's best to end that relationship. That's a characteristic of a narcissist.

[Finchie40]

Yea , I honestly don’t do that to someone I claim to love , I would think they were up to no good and trying to find reasons to make you seem like you are a bad person to justify their actions

[Steamnir]

Its the best to tell them to calm down and enjoy the moment, or u go join it somewhere else

[Finchie40]

I agree , pretty much why I gave up on relationships , well I didn’t give up cuz i still have hopes but I am just in no rush , I am not saying I am perfect but I know I don’t deserve the way I been treated, if me having a few beers on a Friday night at home talking to my brother on the phone after a long work week makes me a bad person then I am not the guy for you , i enjoy unwinding from the week and relaxing and talking to my bro and listening to music , she is more than welcome to join us , if her and I make plans to go do something that Friday night I can easily tell my brother that I will talk to him another time , Girl’s I been with are never satisfied , Always comparing their men to others , I can see if I was going out to the bars and clubs and excluding her every Friday night , then yes I would be a piece of shit , But when I am sitting at home talking to my brother on the phone that I don’t get to see that often is a major problem for her then she is best to move on , I told my ex to hit the road that she is a toxic narcissistic person that is selfish and only wants things her way, because their could be a lot more worse things that I could do but out of respect for our relationship I don’t do it , Most girls I have been with eventually do this to their men , they tell them they don’t want them doing certain things setting boundaries and then their men stop doing it to appease them but then the girl turns around and does it to him , I hate to say it but most girls are very selfish people that only really think about themselves. They don’t wear their man’s shoes like she expects him to wear hers , When a girl starts making things one sided she is best to move on , why so many guys today don’t want to get married , we are tired of the constant nagging and never being satisfied , not saying all men are perfect but girls need a fucking wake up call and realize they are mainly the root to why men leave and cheat on them , you can’t expect someone to

[Finchie40]

Constantly give without receiving , when a girl uses sex as a bargaining agreement she better pack her bags and get back on the streets

[ShellyB]

Have you felt like this for a long time or only sometimes or only recently, because if it's constant, then you are probably not a good match, but if it's only sometimes or only recently maybe she is trying to help you and maybe she will help you. That happens a lot where one partner helps the other one be more focused or know they can do more than they previously thought and it can be uncomfortable temporarily.

[Ria_300]

Some people just expect a lot of you.
Some people just don't settle with what their have and it can be good in some cases but a lot of cases they don't remember we are all human and can only do so much. I recommend you talk to ur partner about it. Remind them you do love them and will try to give them whatever makes them happy and you do love them but can only do so much. If they cannot accept you for that then they are not the one.

[NathanDavis]

in my experience, my girlfriends always had higher expectations... and I did surpass those expectations as well

and that's why we were in a relationship

it was also mutual by the way... they were always much better than I initially saw first

[Anonymous]

Best advice I was given when I was younger regarding women "Never give them a bouquet of flowers when you first date them". The point is that women EXPECT guys to build on that. You should NEVER set expectations real high with a woman when you first date them. Be solid, be a good man, be consistent. But don't give them any room to think they can move and manipulate you.

[Idk-you-pick]

Funny ver. ; well… set them so low that they’d be on the verge of breaking up with me and then become normal again.
Serious ver. ; fuck them im independent. They set high expectations then you is gonna see a whole load of disappointment. Hahaaa bye bitch😘

[Raphaëlle]

This really depends on the context, how you communicate with each other and how willing you both are to compromise. If you've too high expectations from the beginning of the relationship and you notice that they aren't being met, then you need to think if you actually fit together or not.

[litty]

Sometimes expectations can be good and can keep the relationship from getting too comfortable, but unreasonable demands are suffocating and breed resentment. People can't change others unless those others want to change.

You can end a relationship for less. There doesn't have to be an incident like cheating. Some people are not made for monogamy.

[melanieeeB]

If we're talking about stuff above the basics and expecting respect etc... then well leave, cause he probably has an imagine or wish-version of who I should be and doesn't see me as I am (reality) ... I could never met his expectations in that way

[hahahmm]

You just have to set your own goals and ignore what they say. Make it very clear that their opinion isn't welcome when they try to give it. Even explain why, just like you did here. See if their behavior changes.

[Haha456]

if your partner has "high expectations" of you, it likely means they're not dating the right person.

[AddylynnNightingale]

Leave. Someone who keeps expecting more, isn't worth my time. The only person who is allowed to push me that far is myself, for myself.

[SunsetBeautyxxxx]

I'm usually the one with high-expectations lol, but if I were to find someone with high expectations, it depends what are they

[TroyDT2]

First make sure it is really absurd demands and not just a nudge to be all that you are capable of being. If it is the former, definitely end it.

[FilmGuy93]

If they're never happy with things I do; then I'm out. In general, I think high expectations are good.

[Zolly99999]

Yes because you will never be good enough in their eyes. Find someone who loves you just the way you are.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if you are scared or worried about finding someone else.. but
Why are you still with her? Leave

[Agape93]

End it. If I'm not enough, I don't need to hear it or feel it from them too.

[Charlesbrandonf]

I feel girls have much higher and lot of expectations than boys.