Forgive or not?

[Anonymous]

You have been happily married with kids to your High School Sweet Heart for the past 8 years. You find out that your spouse cheated on you with 2 people before you were married. Timeline
1999-2001 Started dating 2 years in HS.

2001-2004 College years- Boyfriend went to college on baseball scholarship 2 hours away. Girlfriend stayed home and worked locally. Relationship had some problems due to not being with each other every day, boyfriend came home about 2-3x per week. Girlfriend cheated in 2002 with a guy for about 3 months. In 2003 girlfriend cheated 1x with a different guy.

2005-2013 Happily Married with kids.
2014- Hubby was told about the cheating by an acquaintance. Then Wife confessed.

Wow what would you do if you found out 8 years later your spouse cheated? Forgive or Divorce?

[whiskeyontherocks]

She’s probably going to do it again if she already hasn’t.
If you got kids get a DNA test first and get a lawyer to help protect your self for the divorce. Even if you aren’t thinking about one she might want to beat you to it.


I’d like to say work it out or go on a sabbatical etc….
But I’ve never seen that work. Maybe make it work for the kids but personally I wouldn’t be able to forgive.

[Asker]

Thanks for responding. Yea I think nobody forgives but but they just cope if they choose to stay in the relationship. Most of guys I know would have been I would have let my guard down and played around a little bit as well.

[whiskeyontherocks]

Do you have kids with her?

[LazerBean]

I mean it's bad, but honestly cheating on a boyfriend is not on the same level as cheating on a spouse.

[Asker]

I understand that. But you feel liked you been lied to all this time and plus you know the other two guys. It was many years ago

[WhitneySnow]

I have no clue. That’s really tough. What does your intuition tell you to do?

[Asker]

Most people can’t or wouldn’t forgive, even if it was over 10 years ago. And if their relationship has been great for years after. It is a tough one. What would you do if that happen to you?

[WhitneySnow]

I don’t know. I’ll worry about that if it ever happens to me. Maybe, but it would take time and a lot of heartache to forgive them:

[Asker]

Thanks and I hope it doesn’t happen to you